I'm done

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I don't find communicating much fun.

I feel like it's a waste of effort between me and people who don't read books and lack an education and sometimes even common sense.

Only times I don't feel that way is with people I genuinely respect, hobby groups talking specifically about the hobby and/or my own kin.

I'm going to stop with the 'chatting' type conversation outside of family and hobby groups. Instead I'm going to limit myself to: talking to someone who is delivering something to me (eg a postman or supermarket delivery), chatting with people who I've made an exception for and writing: proper writing and/or writing on tumblr where I barely have an audience - a kind of diary that people can choose to read if they so desire.

Because every time I 'chat' outside of this, I feel like my brain cells are dying tbh. It's really frustrating. People throw all sorts of nonsense at me. And I lack a strong desire to connect to other people which would make it worth putting up with the inadequacies of strangers.

I can relate to this. I have, in recent years, stopped verbally communicating anything beyond necessity with anyone outside my family (apart from my forums, but that's different to me.) Some people will judge you for it, but they're generally just projecting. I've been told multiple times how "humans need to be social" and "that's not healthy" but those people don't even know me. It's not even worth arguing, I just say "Yeah, you're probably right." That's all they want to hear, then I can disengage and go about my business. It's a win-win, they feel like they "helped" me, and I'm not wasting any more time with them.

Who did you used to chat with, besides your family, hobby groups, writers, and delivery people?

That sounds like a lot to me already. I really don't chat or make idle conversation with anyone unless it's unavoidable.

I would quote this a million times, but that would be spam. I agree with this sentiment so much. People often think they should be talking to others a lot. For some people, that's a win for them and I have nothing wrong with that. But personally, my social desires are very low and can often socially satisfied from family members or forums.

Yep.
Most of my closest colleagues are morons for the most part.
They have never read a book, a couple of them can't even read, they don't know English, French, or German. All they talk about when it comes to culture is children's movies.
They're rasist, sexist, and homophobic. And look down on people who have an education.

But there are a couple of more sane people at the company, so I hang out with them.

/Mats

Communication euphemism for noise pollution


Music sound noise same thing

Social media & forums & discord.

And talking to non-family about important stuff.

CBA doing that anymore unless people have proven themselves to be wise. Like this old poet woman I met, she's smart. I wish she was my grandma.

I don't chat with delivery people. I talk to them. They ask me if things are for me, tell me about changes to my order, stuff like that.

Discord was the worst & first to go. All they would talk about is 1 prejudiced stuff 2 fighting 3 s****ing women 4 football. I'm only interested in 3 and 4 and I'm not interested in 'I'd bang her' type chat when it comes to 3 which is how they talked.

But it still feels like all the time I'm either arguing with some stupid random theory someone came up with, realising how naive/thin-skinned most people are or realising how thick most NTs are. I'm not that interested in 'rate my plate' and stuff like that and laughing at 'weird' people and talking party politics at the expense of ethics and moaning about football and arguing over demographics all week long.

When people try to sound clever, they sound like they never read a book or if it was it was in the 'spirituality' section.

When people don't try to sound clever, they talk about boring stuff or pick on people over trivial stuff.

I don't get the point.

It's not how me and my family talk to each other, although we're kind of snobs tbh.

Ah, sorry. I thought you meant verbal chatting. I didn't know you meant online, as well.

I don't use social media except for FB Messenger, which is with family only.
I don't know what discord is and I've never used Reddit.

It sounds like you've had a lot of disappointment from online communication.

I hope you feel better after you change your parameters.

My problem is I keep wanting to correct people who are wrong.

It's not healthy and it makes me argumentative.

To people who I don't actually care about as long as they're safe, others are safe etc.

And that last part? Apparently it's political lol. Or 'that means you're not autistic' lol. Nah, I just give a crap about the world and the people in it. If that makes me political, so be it. I'm still autistic & it makes other people's politics look bad if they're saying 'giving a crap about strangers is weird'.

It is pretty bad if one doesn't give a crap about others.

perhaps you need to find some one on the same wave length as yourself
perhaps someone who shares some of the same interests or interests in same activities or philosophy

i also do not share that much in common with a lot of the people who i meet
i do have some close-ish friends though

one friend who i have known for 30 years, who shares the same sense of humour but also
shares same kind of philosophy in life

another friend or two i share an interest in music and perhaps some interest in martial arts
one or two others i share an interest in ASD

I used to go to a support group for people with ASD
but to be honest, where as i find the majority of people who i met who had ASD fairly straight forward
the friends I made in this group, where as i like them as friends.

I often found there were some extra obstacles when it came to communicating with them as friends

I tend to agree with the OP, I'm fed up with people as well - I constantly argue and try to change their views, which is overly simplistic, narrow-minded, racist, homophobic etc.

On the other hand I do need people to talk to, I have the desire to have friends and boyfriend, but it totally sucks how much I cannot find.
My hobbies are probably too normal: I love cooking for example, but I usually research the history/origin of a dish and cook international. Now if I go to a cooking forum all those housewives talking about the simplest local dishes and where you can buy cheap ingredients.
Or I love anything related to Japan, but I could find only anime forums packed with teenagers.

I guess it's not easy to find friends when your age reaches a point everybody is married.

Agreed.

A lot of people look for something to complain about, all too often.

I think it's not easy for ppl to find friends once school/uni is over.

Some ppl flood towards work friends.

But what if colleagues have nothing in common with you?

I guess for aspies there's a head start there, cos that might happen at school.

For NTs they tend to be like ppl their own age so it only kicks in with work.

I always had someone til my MA and work.

Don't mind being alone.

Do mind being round wrong people. Do mind being around bad people.

Like being around ppl I relate to.

MA people weren't technically wrong they were just really bloody annoying. Autistic perfection in their technical knowledge base. NT perfection socially. Like robots. I'm neither as smart as them nor as 'grown up' as they acted (to be fair I was the youngest on the course but the age gap felt much bigger than it was cos they never showed their 'human' side even on Facebook or outside of the classroom...). Only thing I have over them is that there's more interest in a person who's imperfect. They made no social gaffes & no knowledge gaffes either...

Work people were horrible.

Fixed it.

Nah.

I quit.

That fixed it.

They prob still are horrible though