Is it selfish to just look for a job you want ?

Post Reply New Topic

I've been in the job working in a retail book store for four and half years now, its a place a suppose that deals in hobbies and stuff such as reading, arts and crafts and so on but for four years prior to that I was still out of work since dropping out on university in 2012 and I feel maybe I was lacking direction as to where to go and next and that maybe I might return to uni but of course I didn't, when I was looking for work handing out CVs and applying online I didn't really want to go for the jobs in the fast food sector and instead went to card shops, arts and crafts places, shoe shops, clothes stores and other places like that in the retail sector and had interviews put a few turned me down and I did get job offers but I did turn them down because one was a distance away from where I lived and I didn't drive at the time so I would have had to get the bus which wouldn't always arrive on time, when I did get the job I am in now I chose it but I suppose I did it because it was somewhere I liked and that I was a regular customer to but if I was a lazy person who didn't want to work then I wouldn't have chosen that job and I would have been unemployed still. Since been in a job now I have developed a mindset of working to pay the bills and doing the occasional boring task at work whereas before the job I didn't seem to have that mindset and does leave me to think why didn't I just taken those jobs I was offered anyway and I seem to feel like I was the only one being rather subjective in looking for work and hanging around looking for my ideal choice of job rather just going for any job.

If you’re living a good life working in the bookstore, why regret things that “could have been”?

I can't quite understand I don't know if that's because since I've been in paid work I've had like everyone else that mindset of going to work 9 to 5 and pay the bills and taxes like everyone and realising that life is about working for what you want and when you are unemployed you don't seem to have that mindset because obviously you are not working and if you've been that way for some time when you get given the chance of work it can be a bit daunting to start with because you haven't worked before then eventually you develop that working mindset when you are in work.

you can't measure selfishness

sometimes selfishness is necessary for some functional purpose.

when you are picky about your job, you risk not getting a job.

"beggars can't be choosers"

if you have a great personality or great skills, you can be picky.

otherwise, you drastically limit your vocational prospects.

When you have Aspergers, you can not really afford to be fussy about jobs. Most employers regard us as being unemployable. People with Aspergers often end up in low end jobs that are way beneath them or end up on welfare for life. We are unlikely to land our dream job because our communication/social skill handicap limits us in regards to finding and keeping jobs.

It's a difficult problem.

Most of my jobs have caused me huge stress which made me a BIG problem for my family and social life.

I "dropped out" and lived with my mother until I found decent work, and I'm a much better person to be around now because I "held out" until I found something that doesn't drive me crazy.

But I got lucky by finding this job, and I don't know how long it will last. So that method won't necessarily work for everybody.

Well technically yes.

But one of the few things that Ayn Rand got right is that selfishness can be a good thing sometimes.

I mean we can't all be doctors or ambulance workers or firefighters. Selfishness comes into it at some point.

I agree with KT. Being in a job you hate is almost worse than being unemployed, because you won't be able to do your best at the job and risk losing it for sub-par performance. You don't need to have an absolute "dream job," but if you feel you'd hate a job or get a bad feeling about the boss/team/company, don't waste your time applying.

always pick the job you want to do!

I am a "picky" job hunter. In the right work environment I will thrive and so will the business. In the wrong work environment I'll crash and burn and the business won't know or care that they are missing out on a gem. Sounds like you don't crash and burn, but still it matters.

When I first got diagnosed in my early 40s, it was because the place I'd been working in for three years had closed down, so I was unemployed again. I had a history of long terms of unemployment. There was a program being offered by the government offering six free sessions with a psychologist (with the opportunity to extend for another six), to explore barriers to employment.

So I got diagnosed. And in these sessions, I learned not only that I'm ASD, but that my approach to employment (being willing to take any job), was sub-optimal. I was advised to go on disability for a couple of years and to use the time to explore ASD, how it applies to me, and to design a work plan better suited to me specifically.

'Survival Jobs' are the jobs that we work to pay bills, buy food, and pass time while working towards our real goals. I never understood that until those psychologist sessions. I guess that's where I (and many ASDs) went wrong. We play the game that neurotypicals play. We think we must always be prepared to take just any job we can. They often don't last long, then we have a harder time that usual lining up the next job.

I'd advise us to take survival jobs, BUT at the same time to be working towards a career that better suits our aptitudes. Study yourself. Take control. Guide yourself towards a goal.