Mathematical Jokes

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This thread contains mathematical jokes.

Actually beginning the thread is left as an exercise for the reader.

Why is it that mathematicians never distinguish between Halloween, and Christmas?



Because they know that Oct 31 = Dec 25.

Proof: A Horse has an Infinite number of legs (this joke works better when said out loud):

1: A horse has 2 legs in the back
2: A horse has 4 legs (forelegs) in the front
3: 2 + 4 = 6 so, clearly, a horse has 6 legs
4: 6 is an even number
5: everyone one will agree that 6 legs is an odd number of legs for a horse to have
6: the only number that is both even and odd is infinity
7: A horse has an infinite number of legs

Q: Why are obtuse angles depressed?

This one is more of a limerick than a joke - but I think it is funny:

A dozen a gross and a score
plus three times the square root of four
divided by seven,
plus five times eleven
is nine squared and not a bit more

I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday. I think he must be plotting something.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world . . .

those who understand binary and those who do not.

One day a mathematician decides that he is sick of math. So, he walks down to the fire department and announces that he wants to become a fireman.

The fire chief says, “Well, you look like a good guy. I’d be glad to hire you, but first I have to give you a little test.”

The fire-chief takes the mathematician to the alley behind the fire department which contains a dumpster, a spigot, and a hose. The chief then says, “OK, you’re walking in the alley and you see the dumpster here is on fire. What do you do?”

The mathematician replies, “Well, I hook up the hose to the spigot, turn the water on, and put out the fire.”

The chief says, “That’s great… perfect. Now I have to ask you just one more question. What do you do if you’re walking down the alley and you see the dumpster is not on fire?”

The mathematician puzzles over the question for awhile and he finally says, “I light the dumpster on fire.”
The chief yells, “What? That’s horrible! Why would you light the dumpster on fire?”

The mathematician replies, “Well, that way I reduce the problem to one I’ve already solved.”

The number "i", and the number "pi", got into a fight one day.

Pi told i to to "get real!".

And i told pi to "get rational!".

i identify as square root of -1

A woman with no principle draws a lot of interest.

I had an argument with a 90° angle. It turns out it was right.

^ I suppose that would depend on the exact definition of a joke. Most jokes have a punch line, that is they are not funny until the last sentence, which makes a change to the idea that went before it. A limerick is more of an amusing story that rhymes. I remember an episode of the tv show Star Trek: The Next Generation where the android, Mister Data, wanted to understand humor - "what was funny?". The idea was that as an android he was like a human, but had a hard time with some things like humor and other human emotions. For the episode he consulted the ship's computer in the form of a Holodeck program (a computer controlled hologram). The computer provided him with a fictional "famous comedian" who was played by real-life comedian Joe Piscopo and the two of them discuss "what is funny?".



The bit at the end where Data is telling a joke to Whoopi Goldberg's character, Guinan, the ship's bartender is also funny. Real life Whoopi Goldberg was also an actress who had done work as as a comedian.

I like Data. Re reminds me of me. I don't always fit in and I don't always understand the people around me.
Maybe an android who wants to be funny counts as a math joke? (maybe not).