Mask

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My first post on here was about losing who I am as a person due to masking. Right after I posted that I took the mask off. I’m no longer hiding who I am, or my quirks and I can already tell people think I’m weirder than they already did.. I’m starting not to care. I feel better. I don’t want to pretend to be NT anymore.

I find people actually think I'm less weird if I don't mask, because not masking means you're more confident and most people thrive on that.

Liberating!

I mask automatically. If I don't mask I am very shy and self concious, so I mask to cover this.
I unmask completely when I am on my own in a scenic setting and no one is watching where I can really be myself!

I am more confident. I think it is just because I am no longer constantly worrying about what I’m saying, and I just say what I think. So much stress has been lifted off of me. I used to try to be “cool”. It turned into me smoking weed all of the time, among other things to try to fit in. I still didn’t ever truly fit in. It feels nice to be yourself because you know people like you for who you truly are.

There are forces for conformity and compliance that stem from two main sources. The first are the collectivist dynamics of our schools, corporations, government, and even churches. The second are the portrayals of life by movies, TV, books, magazines, etc.

Readers digest used to have a section called "most interesting character". It was more common for people to be familiar with others whose individual character struck them as memorable. Each time a person drops their mask, they strike a blow for individual freedom. However, like most freedom fighters, there can be a risk.

Those who have been absorbed into the "borg-like" hive can see differences as threatening.

I suck at masking! I don't know how to do it at all!
It seems difficult to learn.

I also mask automatically and it's really unsettling! I definitely ruminate on it later too. I think there's some guilt I have associated with it because I end up saying things I don't actually mean which makes me feel like a bad person.

Totally agree that going outdoors alone is really healing for this

I’ve said things that I don’t mean as well because I was trying to mimic other people’s behaviors instead of my own to better communicate with others. I still use techniques I’ve learned from others to communicate, and it’s helped me with social skills some, but I’m not hiding my quirks as much anymore in a public setting, and I’m trying to stop thinking as much and just be myself. I’ve spent a long time constantly thinking about every thing I do.