How do you deal with 'false' compliments?

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I struggle with receiving compliments at the best of times. I tend to go into 'If you really knew me you'd think differently' mode. However it's even worse if I get a compliment that is outright not true . A few nights ago on Facebook I had this Portuguese guy repeatedly telling me that I'm a genius, despite my telling him I wasn't. I lack the necessary creativity(& brainpower) to be a genius. A few days before that I was described by another person as 'occasionally a genius.'

I can't even cope well with independent living without a fair amount of support. Even then my lifestyle is very basic.

How do you deal with compliments that are not true?

Last edited by firemonkey on 10 Jul 2021, 10:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I personally deal with a false compliment as a sign that the person is being insincere and their aim is manipulation.

Given I've heard others say basically the same thing, that's a distinct possibility.

If I could deal with compliments, real or false, I'd first consider why they're given.
The person could be less inteligent than you (in the subject at hand).
The person could be sarcastic.
The person could have an idea that the subject at hand is too complicated for most. (This happens a lot in China if you know some basic words, since many believe that it takes Chinese genes to be able to learn the lanuage).
The person could be doing it to "lift you up", try to make you feel better about yourself.
The person could be doing it to "pull you down" by complimenting something you're bad at, suggesting that everything else is worse.
and other reasons.

/Mats

If I get a compliment that I don’t feel is to something I can relate to, I just guess I’ve run into a narcissist, that is trying to take advantage of me.

He did say he was less intelligent than me, but I'm probably the least intelligent person on the FB group we both are members of.

I'm not as daft as can be.





I'm just not a genius. Far too little creativity to ever be one.

Dr Grove is also a trained psychometrician.

The best way to deal with ANY compliment is to confidently reply 'Thank you!' and move on.

If they were trying to be manipulative, you have just derailed them.
If they were sincere, you are being appreciative.
If they were being polite, but not manipulative, you have been socially appropriate.

The thing is, don't get snagged on this, just smoothly move past it. Do not dwell on whether the compliment was justified, that just becomes awkward for everyone.

I agree with this. It seems that a lot of Aspies here want everyone to be honest to them all the time, but then get hurt when someone is honest with them. If someone compliments me, it's usually because they're trying to be kind, and I like kindness. I've gave people false compliments before, if it was appropriate to do so, because I wanted to make them feel better.

If a fat person says they're fat, I always say "oh, don't be silly, you look great". That usually boosts their ego a little, even if they still know they're fat. They wouldn't like me if I'd said "you sure are fat, lose some weight!" It would be nasty to say that even if it's the truth.

These social rules actually do make sense to me. I treat others how I like to be treated (within reason).

I do the "Thank you," and then move on thing. I don't want to be rude by assuming someone is being rude to me, so I just act appreciative even if I'm not. If they complimented a physical attribute or some clothing of mine I will also compliment them on something similar and start a conversation via that, so it's not obvious I'm changing the subject.

I'll go with 'thank you' & move on in future.

I don’t find that people compliment me to manipulate me most of the time.

You’re online, Firemonkey, when you receive the compliments. People can’t see you. You can’t expect people to have a true impression of you unless they see you in person.

I have no friends IRL, just family & stepfamily. In the flesh, as opposed to virtually,I don't come across well. I'm badly coordinated ,have an odd gait(walk like I'm drunk according to my s/dau),quite/very introverted, struggle to initiate conversations.

I just smile and carry on. But now I know the person's "true face".

Suppose the “fake” compliment was actually sincere?

I can discern the good and smart nature of a person even amid one’s physical disabilities.

I think it was well meaning. In no way am I feeling anything negative about the person who said it. It's more of a case of my not wanting to accept something that I don't see as true.

I'll openly admit my reluctance to accept it is very much based on the premise, proposed by some, that genius =Very high intelligence + high level of creativity.

I thought I'd test how creative I am . It says only 1st try counts.

However this article suggests your creative peak occurs around 10 pm.
I did it just before 1am. https://www.lifehack.org/articles/featu ... ative.html

So I tried twice.



2nd attempt

https://www.datcreativity.com/

Both are really surprising.