Should I tell my Son and Daughte/r they might be Aspie too

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I am new but I am putting together all the quirks I have and habits and signs I have Aspergers, or have had it all my life. I went through quite a time not knowing anything about why I do what I do. Say things the way I do, or react to things the way I do. I have been called many unpleasant things since I act differently. My Son and Daughter seem to have the same traits as me. They are too old now 31 and 27 to be called kids, but they do not know nor does anyone else in my family who have all the signs as I do only they self medicate with drinking. I gave up drinking because of the way it made me feel, I was different for doing that, but knew it was for the better, but the family refuses to believe they have an alcohol problem, if I tell them what they might have they will not believe it. They are all older siblings and I am 65. Should I keep my Aspie to myself, the family is fine with singling me out when I told them I have panic disorder, telling them it is Apergers they will also deny. I think it would be good to let my kids know but then again maybe not. I am confused and lost.

Being on the spectrum is a personal thing. Some people find this self knowledge helpful, some find it hurtful.

I'd say, no rush. If the whole family uses alcohol for coping, there are likely multiple psychological and social mechanisms running to keep things the way they are and your "rocking the boat" can be met with very, very bad reactions.

I think AA has a lot of useful advice on how to deal with alcoholic family members.

^ Also CR, CODA, Al-anon and Adult-Children

https://www.celebraterecovery.com/

https://coda.org/

https://al-anon.org/

https://adultchildren.org/

Don't take this as advice on whether to tell them or not, but for me personally, I wish I had found out way before I turned 55. My life would have made more sense...

I'd say, don't tell them that you think they're autistic, but tell them you're autistic and what that explains about you. If they draw a parallel "but I do that too!" then you can say "well, maybe you're autistic, too".