Fnord wrote:
Benefits of Not Having Kids:
• Divorce settlements are vastly simplified.
• Fewer or no stretch marks, and your body looks the same for at least twice as many years.
• If a career advancement requires you to move across the country, you can just pack up and move.
• If someone leaves a mess, you know immediately whose it is.
• If you feel sick, you get to lie down and take care of yourself.
• No one ever accuses you of being a bad parent.
• One trip + two people = two suitcases + two carry-ons (and a purse).
• Personal conversations with your significant other remain personal.
• The $250,000 it takes to raise a child to adulthood belongs to you.
• The extra money from your paycheck belongs to you.
• The last piece of cake belongs to you.
• The secret prize in the cereal box belongs to you.
• The TV remote stays exactly where you left it.
• Vacations are rarely "staycations", and usually involve extended stays in remote rural places.
• When you and your significant other "get busy", you can be as loud and as kinky as you want.
• Women without children are taken more seriously by their bosses and coworkers.
• You and your significant other can "get busy" anywhere in the house, and at any time of the day.
• You can binge-watch all of the Grand Theft Auto series, without having My Little Pony interrupt your joy.
• You can binge-watch 'mature' programs without having to look over your shoulder every few minutes.
• You can have friends over without your children and theirs getting into fights or sharing strange diseases.
• You can have nice things that are expensive, fragile, and rare.
• You can send your nieces and nephews back to their parents when you get tired of them.
• You can sleep for more than two hours.
• You never experience stepping on a Lego piece in your bare feet ... unless you are the person who dropped it.
Sounds good enough for me especially the thing about my body looking the same and extra paycheck money.
_________________
“There’s a lesson that we learn
In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
-Down, The Birthday Massacre