Winking in the Workplace

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Is anybody else disconcerted when, upon making some polite eye contact, you find yourself winked at? I know that winking is often associated with flirtation, but on several occasions I'm pretty sure it wasn't meant in a flirtatious way. I think it might be to convey some sort of playful commiseration, though I'm not entirely sure. In any case, it always leaves me feeling rather confused. If not winking, are there any other expressions that you notice, but that leave you feeling baffled?

There is a cleaning man who is in the store I work at every morning who winks at me. At first, I had no clue what he was doing, it seemed almost like he had gotten something lodged in his eye. Now I basically dodge him at every turn.

There is also someone who, when greeting, will grin in a way that does not suggest friendliness, (only to the women, mind you...) but makes me think he has some sadistic sexual abnormality lingering within him. Another I dodge at every turn.

Yet the most baffling has to be the guy who assumes that if I glance in his direction, I must need to speak with him right then and there -- urgently. I never do -- I do not even know what his role is at work -- but he has some neurotic need to rush you and assault you with questions of possible need. It scares the daylights out of me.

It would depend on the social context of the winking. A very sutble wink by your boss when he/she gives you an assisgnment is probably his/her way of saying: "I know(i.e. I have total faith) you will be able to get this done". Comes across as sort of presumptious from my viewpoint.

As far as the cleaning man is concerned it may mean that for whatever reason he likes you. On the other hand since he's a stranger, you have no idea what his motives may be. Is the cleaning man by and large popular and well-accepted by other coworkers?

The guy who rushes to you with questions when you glance in his direction may very well be doing that because he is concerned about his job security. He may be under scrutiny from his higher ups and wants to give the impression that he is doing his job. Or he may be a new supervisor on a probationary period and simply anxious about doing his job in a satisfactory manner.

I hadn't ever considered this possible meaning before. I still have no idea why winking would mean this, but it makes sense in at least one context where this has happened to me. It's always a bit daunting when I'm reminded that there is all this subtlety in communication that I'm apparently missing. Are there any good reference manuals for helping to decipher these kinds of situations?

ive been eating/reading alone to look up and find guys looking at me and winking and making lil kissy faces.......

totally random and unwelcomed.

ppl r weird w/e theyre doin

If the boss gives you a definite deadline such as this Friday when giving a particular assignment and gives a quick wink in the process. He is saying in effect: I am counting on you to get it done.

There are books you can get on body language at the bookstore that will give you a general overview. But a wink can mean so many different things depending on the circumstances I don't think any book could possibly cover it all. Just my humble opinion.

Sometimes winking means that they are letting you in on something they consider a secret. That can be good or bad depending on the secret.