LoopyBanana wrote:
I find life with autism so bloody confusing. I know lots of people and they hate me, even though I'm always nice. Why is that? They look at me like I'm diseased and want nothing to do me. Even my own dad hates me. My mum is gone, I miss her so much, she was the only person who understood me. No one else does. I'm sick of being treated like I'm a piece of garbage. Do you guys get the same treatment from people?
Hate is a strong word, few if any “hate” autistic people though they probably hate autism as a condition which is a different.
Do autistic people have angry mobs outside their home that needs to be held back by cops? Do they regularly get chased out of town by angry men with guns? Are there vigilante groups that hunt down autistic people to attack them? Do mothers clutch their children & cross the road when they see someone, they know to be autistic walking towards them? The answer to all of these is NO.
I’ve experienced this mild shunning myself & it’s sad but I’ve come to realise its really about connection or lack of it & not having anything to offer the other person, not actual hate.
That’s why the whole savant thing gets mentioned a lot, its entertainment or a skill that offers something, whether a laugh, something useful or just brief curiosity. Take that away and there is nothing left to be interested in or offer the other person.
I’m sure your dad probably doesn’t hate you, rather probably finds meaningful conversation i.e., connection & bonding difficult because of your communication disability.
It the same with elderly people with advanced dementia, where they can’t remember things. Their family avoids visiting them in a care home not because they don’t love them but because it hurts them seeing their loved going through such difficulties and the condition means they can’t connect to them anymore.
Its really as simple as that I’m afraid.
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"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends upon the unreasonable man."
- George Bernie Shaw