im just so scared

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im just so scared of my own shadow. i feel like if twitch someone is gonna force me back into that place and torture me again.

Aye... Ugh.. Where exactly were you tortured? Im really trying to grasp this.. Id like to help you.

are you getting enough sleep?

Is there anyone you can talk to that isn't a threat as far as sending you back? Talking might help. You can vent here, of course!

please, do go on... its good to hear the backstory. First of all, deep breath. andddd. lets hear it.

i have been force into a psychtric ward 4 times in the past 2 years. everytime seem revolve around my family getting violent with me or else a major adverse reaction from the medications i been forced to take. i am not mentally ill. my mother has delusions about me. she thinks that iv gone around my whole life in an uncontrable rage beating people up when i never laid one hand one anyone. she seems to think she knows stuff that happened when she wasnt in the room or even in the house. my father has a borderline personality and gets angry and even violent at inexplicable things.. i am not sure i did the right thing not going to the group home but going to a reall house seem way better at the time. i had an aunt who was on my side but due to contact with my mother she now toes the party line. theres more if i can remember it.

my sleep is borderline decent im popping melatonin and valerian every night