Adult child dating dilemma

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My daughter has had this male friend for the last eight years. He was not available for any dances or proms or favors or help. That's what friends are for. Now that have both graduated college, he wants to date her. They've gone out quite a bit as long as they go "dutch". The last three time she paid for both and this is really pissing me off. She feels a relationship would destroy their friendship. She just doesn't see it from my point of view. I think he stinks as a friend and would be a HORRIBLE boyfriend. Any input?

She is going to have to get life experience some time and some things we have to learn for ourselves. If she has known him for a long time, perhaps this is a good way to get started. It doesn't have to be more than just going out for a while, it doesn't have to develop into something serious. If he seems like he is being predatory or using her, that is something to watch out for. Does she know rules for safe dating? Does she know how to say no to pressure from somebody ( sexual pressure?). There is a world of information we don't know about this situation, Time will tell if he is good boyfriend material or not, or if they will remain friends at all. Mean time, she is getting social experience and learning to make decisions about her own health and safety, etc, hopefully with loving discussion and kindness to point out things she might now think of about relationships, dating, etc etc. I raised a boy and a girl, that young dating social thing is so hard, maybe hardest on the parents! Best wishes!

Over the years I have known a surprising number of young women who were "dating" married men. Not once did any of them consider that their one commodity (their youth) was being spent on something that would not last.

Women often have the capacity to form strong relationships and often will resist any attempt to stop them from "going down with the ship".

Young people seldom ask for advice. You might invite her to try something like online dating, but she could end up in an even worse situation.

The idea of a family and and a future are often only vague ideas for youth today.

Thanks fnord and to all

As a middle aged NT female, mom to a child son and aunt to young adult ladies, I agree whole heartedly with Tim and Fnord's input.

But keep in mind that mistakes may be brief and useful. All three of my 20 something aged nieces came out of the gate making ridiculous mistakes. ALL three threw away scholarships, one had a baby, one went off "backpacking" (which I call being a future serial killer victim).

The backpacker settled down with a nice young man and is now finishing a STEM degree, the one with the baby is poor but happy, and the third is average and in no trouble at all. Not so bad.