Don't want my cousin to have a baby

Post Reply New Topic

Please do not judge me in this thread

TL;DR - I bolded the bits I feel strongly about.

I don't want my cousin to have a baby. It just feels like a huge step she's taking and she's one of those people who I can't imagine with a baby so it's hard for me to get my head round it. Some people don't understand what I mean, they just say, "quit being jealous" and "you can't stop her".

OK, maybe there's a tiny little bit of jealousy there in my feels but it's not the whole reason. This particular cousin having a baby is going to change everything. I suppose I won't go into it all here for privacy reasons but I'm entitled to feel things and this situation is just eating me up inside.

My cousin and her fella both drink alcohol and both do drugs, which isn't good for a start when you are planning on becoming parents. Her fella is the free-spirited sort who bases his life on personal hobbies and alcohol and clubs and gigs and stuff. I can see where this is heading. My cousin will just have this baby so that she wouldn't have to work, and knowing her she'll probably get too stressed or tired with the baby and so would dump it on her mother - which is what I'm scared about. I don't really want my aunt to be preoccupied with this baby. Ever since my mum died we've been there supporting each other and we call each other every day. This won't be as easy when there's a baby around. Also my cousin has some learning difficulties.

I really don't know why they're doing this. Her mum tells me that they don't want a baby at all, but my cousin sounds adamant to me that she wants one and tells me they're trying but aren't getting anywhere (meaning she's not falling). So they're probably having hard sex for an hour every night until she falls pregnant. Then what? Both give up alcohol, drugs and nightlife and dedicate their whole lives to this kid? I don't think so. Things are going to get real sh***y. And it will affect me.

I'm really hoping they pull out of this bright idea of having a baby. I don't think my cousin is thinking this through. It's as though she's having a baby just for the sake of having a baby. And I can't tell her not to. Neither can her mum. But it'd mostly be us who'll suffer the consequences, I just know it. I don't want it to happen. I'm hoping her fella's sperm count is so low that it'll be impossible to get pregnant. But if they're trying and trying to make this baby then it's going to happen one day.


Maybe it will be a good thing if Russia decides to blow the world up. At least it'd be the end to all my worries. And I'll be with my mum again.

Your job is to treat the baby well.

Be the “good auntie.”

I understand, perfectly, that you don't want to clean up other people's messes. That makes sense.

Thanks guys for understanding. It makes me feel better when people understand rather than judge.

This cousin of mine was really close to me growing up, and we've always shared the same thoughts and ideas. Then we grew apart, and although I'm still in touch with her, I'm closer to her mum (my aunt), who might be on the spectrum. I have another aunt who has grandchildren, so often she's busy these days, and so I just fear that my first aunt's life will become the same.

I'm just waiting for the dreaded text from my cousin one of these days saying she's pregnant, and I'll have to force myself to text back "OMG congratulations I'm so pleased for you" whilst having a meltdown. I can't express any hint of jealousy or sadness because I don't want her to know I'm feeling this way. But I just can't help it. Things won't be the same after this thing is born.

You never know----people do change sometimes whenever their own kid is involved.

when i first fell pregnant with my son my sister panicked and she suddenly got pregnant by her partner even though she wasnt planning on having any children (neither was i it just happened by accident but it didnt with my sister she done it because she had a competitive jealousy problem and the thought of being left behind while her younger autistic sister had a baby just scared her

it can be common in women if you compare yourself to others too much

^
Might not stop me from feeling envious though. I feel the same as Caz72's sister; feeling left behind. I just wish they'll decide it's not such a great idea to bring a child into this corrupt world.