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I started OCD therapy- need to vent

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Lizbeth Ann
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19 Apr 2022, 11:12 pm

I started therapy with an ERP specialist. The woman knows her field but knows little to nothing about autism. I disclosed having autism, and on every occasion, she passively questioned my diagnosis. I told my hubby, whose NT that I wanted to fire her, and he explains that even if I am correct that because of the work she has done (and she has done a lot) that, I have to continue to go to therapy until the opportunity shows itself to end the relationship. Another thing is that she is so nice how could someone that acts so nice be so dismissive? Is this normal NT behavior? How would any of you guys deal with the situation? Would you stay and try to convince her or would you point out her inconsistencies and then fire her?

I know I'm a little spicy tonight, and I seem to be overreacting. I know it has to do with people constantly questioning my reality because of my particularities. For example like being at the verge of meltdown because of a sound and others telling me that I am attention seeking or making a big deal out of nothing because they can't hear the sound. I feel like I'm reliving my childhood in these sessions and it just feels like I can't get closure.
I'm usually really nice; I just need a little vent.



HighLlama
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20 Apr 2022, 5:49 am

Lizbeth Ann wrote:
I started therapy with an ERP specialist. The woman knows her field but knows little to nothing about autism. I disclosed having autism, and on every occasion, she passively questioned my diagnosis. I told my hubby, whose NT that I wanted to fire her, and he explains that even if I am correct that because of the work she has done (and she has done a lot) that, I have to continue to go to therapy until the opportunity shows itself to end the relationship. Another thing is that she is so nice how could someone that acts so nice be so dismissive? Is this normal NT behavior? How would any of you guys deal with the situation? Would you stay and try to convince her or would you point out her inconsistencies and then fire her?

I know I'm a little spicy tonight, and I seem to be overreacting. I know it has to do with people constantly questioning my reality because of my particularities. For example like being at the verge of meltdown because of a sound and others telling me that I am attention seeking or making a big deal out of nothing because they can't hear the sound. I feel like I'm reliving my childhood in these sessions and it just feels like I can't get closure.
I'm usually really nice; I just need a little vent.


She probably sees autism as a negative thing and thinks she's helping you by questioning the diagnosis. If you think you can get through to her and it's worth the effort in changing her mind, then staying might be good. Otherwise, who knows--she may do more damage. But that's for you to say. Perhaps you could let her know how helpful your diagnosis has been, and let her see how positive it is for you.

Regarding the "attention seeking" comment: I work with autistic people and hear this all the time from staff. It's because they don't get the sensory stress, and dealing with people who think very differently is stressful to them. Unfortunately, they don't realize this is every day for us, living in an NT world. Also, NTs are extremely attention seeking. This is what small talk and mirroring behavior are--seeking attention for validation. But, they don't describe it that way, because they enjoy this. Dealing with our issues is stressful and demanding to them--and hard to understand--hence we are "attention seeking."



Lizbeth Ann
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 3 Jan 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 59

20 Apr 2022, 9:18 pm

HighLlama wrote:
"She probably sees autism as a negative thing and thinks she's helping you by questioning the diagnosis. If you think you can get through to her and it's worth the effort in changing her mind, then staying might be good. Otherwise, who knows--she may do more damage. But that's for you to say. Perhaps you could let her know how helpful your diagnosis has been, and let her see how positive it is for you."


Very useful advice. I could try to see how far she's willing to listen. I have nothing to lose.

HighLlama wrote:
Regarding the "attention seeking" comment: I work with autistic people and hear this all the time from staff. It's because they don't get the sensory stress, and dealing with people who think very differently is stressful to them. Unfortunately, they don't realize this is every day for us, living in an NT world. Also, NTs are extremely attention seeking. This is what small talk and mirroring behavior are--seeking attention for validation. But, they don't describe it that way, because they enjoy this. Dealing with our issues is stressful and demanding to them--and hard to understand--hence we are "attention seeking."


I appreciate your mention that NTs can seek attention themselves. It was very insightful what you said regarding "Dealing with our problems is stressful and demanding for them, and difficult to understand, therefore we are "attention seeking." I forget that communication can be complicated, even for NTs.

All in all, I feel vindicated in my rant.