FranzOren wrote:
I got scared that I might have Antisocial Personality Disorder, because I still have some symptom of Conduct Disorder Unspecified, and with some of those traits, I developed some skills that I thought are NT social skills, but is actually bad characteristics. I am am 21 years old and still kept some traits of Conduct Disorder Unspecified.
I sometimes wonder if I have Antisocial Personality Disorder, but have empathy and remorse, and don't go around commiting some crimes that I did throughout my childhood, and the only difference is that I never got criminal records.
My symptoms throughout my childhood:
* Annoyed and chased animals for sick pleasure, but I started to feel so guilty for doing that, as I stopped doing that
* Sometimes broke some school rules, and get into fights
* A little bit impulsive when angry
* Always thought that I am right, and getting into arguments, most of my peers thought I was wired, because of that
I know that my symptoms of Conduct Disorder Unspecified did not present all the time, but it was pathological and that went on throughout my childhood.
Some symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder that I have:
* Charm (I use charm when I lie)
* Brainwashing (I don't do that, but I have that skill)
* Lying (I sometimes lie a lot, and people don't know that I lied, but I am more likely to be honest than most)
* Manipulation (I do that rarely though)
Those skills that I have is limited, because I have history of severe communication delay.
I feel guilty that I have those traits, but I wonder if it is possible for me to be a psychopath with empathy and remorse, and choosing to not commit crimes, but I still feel like I harm others by having those traits. I feel ashamed, I am sorry!
There's so many 'conditions' now and I think they are mostly not real. that is, there's no PATHOLOGY here, they are ways to classify clusters of human traits without knowing where they came from. If you have empathy and remorse you don't have any condition that lists not having them, that's a core criteria. Instead of worrying about labels, I try to work out what parts of my personality I don't like and work on them in isolation. I was diagnosed schizophrenic in the 80s b.c no one knew what autism was and the label never worried me. I focused on who I was and how I felt about it