I feel ashamed for having some symptoms of ASPD

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I had antisocial revenge against those who made fun of my atypical development, but I made a choice not to do that, because I will go to prison if I did. I am sorry, I have some symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder and depression after all this.

I made the right choice to forgive my former bullies as well, because they were children themselves and I believe in second chances, and trust that they changed as they got older, but what they did to me caused me so much emotional pain.

What you did was very smart.

Why have shame for something that doesn’t impose itself on other people?

Forgiving and letting go brings release.
You may find that some did not realize that they were bullying when they were young.

I agree. I just feel ashamed that I was this close to becoming the psycho if I slaughtered those who made fun of my atypical development, but it's not okay for them to make fun me for having Autism Spectrum Disorder and Learning Disorder Unspecified, and it's very painful to me.

Can you explain it what you mean by that?

It's just that it's not okay to have psychopathic traits, but it got those traits from people who I feel betryed me and bullied me for being developmentally different. That is where I got the symptoms of Conduct Disorder Unspecified from.

I am sorry, I have history of serious anger issues as well after all that. I hope that I am thinking clearly.

I said it was smart for you not to take revenge upon your bullies—but, instead, to move on from that.

I was bullied for the same reasons you were bullied.

I am sorry, I misunderstood you completely. I agree.

Thank you!

The behavior that I thought is Conduct Disorder Unspecified is Bipolar, because throughout my childhood, I would behave in antisocial ways temporarily until I get depressed as Cyclothymic symptoms, then at age 15, it turned into Bipolar Disorder.

I thought that that I have Conduct Disorder Unspecified, but maybe it's a differential diagnosis.

congratulations for doing what is right for you and making healthier choices, a wise decision .
Sometimes stuff like that is so hard to sort. I could not have done it without a good therapist!
My therapist really helped me recognize the unhealthy behavior patterns I learned in "self defense" as a child , and helped me find better behavior choices that were healthier to use now I am an adult.
The tools I learned in therapy have been helpful for many years now and I have lived a better life because of that. Cheering you on.

Thanks!