Am I the only one who relies on parents to buy a new car ?

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chris1989
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10 Jun 2022, 7:11 pm

I seem to think that even people younger than me who get their first car from their parents get their own car and I still have my first car which was paid for by both myself and my parents even though they signed a lot of the paperwork. I was able to buy my own chromebook and sign all the paperwork and stuff myself but I seem to think for a car its different. I seem to think it envies that there are those people out there who can get their own car and know what they are looking for, know what bits and pieces there are and the ins and outs etc and I feel like the only one.



DanielW
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10 Jun 2022, 7:27 pm

Its a process like anything else. Its something to study, but you can do it. I actually had to go with my mother when she tried to buy her first car. (She actually handed the keys to her own car over to a car salesmen when she got there, and was basically trapped there because of it.)

But its not as difficult as you might think.



IsabellaLinton
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10 Jun 2022, 7:29 pm

My parents never bought me a car or helped me to get a car.
I got my own when I needed it, around age 22.
I agree it's really not that complicated.
Once you start researching something, the rest falls into place.

I'm not sure what you mean about signing papers for a Chromebook?
What papers did you have to sign?


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Dillogic
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10 Jun 2022, 7:32 pm

It's a rather common theme for parents to buy a first car for their children, especially middle class or higher. Most humans don't know the ins and outs of cars (specifications aren't really such), rather they just go with various things they like about whatever car they choose, usually aesthetics in the end.

It's good that you have a car and can drive, and you probably shouldn't be hard on yourself here.



Texasmoneyman300
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10 Jun 2022, 7:34 pm

chris1989 wrote:
I seem to think that even people younger than me who get their first car from their parents get their own car and I still have my first car which was paid for by both myself and my parents even though they signed a lot of the paperwork. I was able to buy my own chromebook and sign all the paperwork and stuff myself but I seem to think for a car its different. I seem to think it envies that there are those people out there who can get their own car and know what they are looking for, know what bits and pieces there are and the ins and outs etc and I feel like the only one.

I still rely on my parents to buy me vehicles since I have no job.They bought me my truck when I was 15 or 16.They have given me all my vehicles.



IsabellaLinton
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10 Jun 2022, 7:34 pm

I moved out at 18, long before I got a car. ^
I guess it would have been weird for them to buy me a car if I was no longer dependent.


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kitesandtrainsandcats
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10 Jun 2022, 7:35 pm

With my messy health having always limited my income earning potential there have been several vehicles I've bought used from my parents.
The one vehicle I did not buy from them developed insolvable computer problems & and I didn't have and was not going to have the nearly thousand dollars in 1998 dollars to replace its computer.

Am currently on Social Security Disability of an amount right at the poverty level for a household of one and the vehicle I have now is a 2013 van which my parents just flat gave me in 2019 after Dad got Alzheimers and Mom had a stroke and their driving days were done. They retained their other vehicle for their care helpers to drive them to appointments.


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chris1989
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10 Jun 2022, 7:52 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
My parents never bought me a car or helped me to get a car.
I got my own when I needed it, around age 22.
I agree it's really not that complicated.
Once you start researching something, the rest falls into place.

I'm not sure what you mean about signing papers for a Chromebook?
What papers did you have to sign?


I think it was just papers in order to pay for it and in case of any damages and so on.



chris1989
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10 Jun 2022, 8:04 pm

I seem to think people know about all about their cars and so on even though they may not be experts themselves.



IsabellaLinton
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10 Jun 2022, 8:10 pm

I don't know anything about cars.
I chose cars by safety ratings, the price, the colour, and features like the stereo system.
When my children got older I needed bigger cars so I did the same but bigger.
I don't know how to change a tire and I'm even afraid of mechanics.
I ended up finding a mechanic I really trust.

My dad knew a lot about cars but I didn't involve him.
All I knew was that he hated FORDs.


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lostonearth35
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17 Jun 2022, 11:56 am

I'm 48 and I still rely on my mother to drive me anywhere. I live in a "city" where you need a car to go anywhere and the public transit is abysmal. I never even learned how to ride a bike, let alone a car.

You wouldn't know how insane the gas prices are right now with repulsive amount of traffic in this "city". Although my mom said she noticed people are driving slower now.



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18 Jun 2022, 8:00 am

It's not uncommon for parents to give their kids their 1st cars. Sometimes the cars used to belong to the parents who got a new one for work reasons like the dad needs a good truck or SUV to haul things & the current one is getting old & having various issues but still runs OK for regular driving. If it's work related the new one could be a total tax write off. Sometimes the cars belong to relatives who can not or should not be driving anymore. Sometimes the parents want the kids to have their own car instead of using one that's in the parents name for insurance & legal reasons. If the parents car insurance is for a high amount to protect all their assets & their kid is 18, it may be cheaper for the kid to have their own car along with their own insurance plan with just the required minimum coverage & the parents don't have to worry about getting sued & going broke if the kid causes a bad accident. Sometimes the parents buy the kids a car when the kid turns 18 & goes off to college & the parents take out a loan & co-sign for it so the kid can build up their credit history. The parents might pay the car off in half a year when the kid is able to get their own credit card or the kid has a job & makes the payments. Even if the kid is going to pay for their car themself, the parents might go with em to buy it to make sure that their kid is not getting ripped off. There is a stereotype that used car salesmen are very slimy. Car salesmen can see young adults as easy targets, even moreso if the kids are girls instead of guys but that may be cuz I lived in the deep south till I was 30.

My parents live in a somewhat rural area that had no public transportation & there is really not much at all within a decent walking distance. Lots of stores & businesses are all in the same general areas that require a 15 minute car ride to get to em from where my parents live. Access to a car was required to go anywhere unless you live in the very middle of all the businesses & stores. Lots of parents got the kids cars so the kids would could be more independent & not have to borrow the parent's car or rely of the parents to go everywhere like work & school.

I cant drive cuz my vision is too bad along with problems focusing due to ADD, very slow mental processing speed, & getting directions very confused & mixed up maybe partly due to my dyslexia; & my parents really gripped about being forced to be my personal chauffeur when I needed to go anywhere cuz they both worked. They also complained about me staying home too much cuz that's unhealthy. When I pointed out how they hated bringing me places, I got told how they didn't have cars when they were young adults & they had friends to bring them places & I should make friends. I asked how could I make friends when I don't go anywhere to make em & I got told how I should of made friends when I was in school & going to work :wall: I have Aspergers witch is a major social disability so they were basically wanting the impossible cuz they were understandably very frustrated with the whole situation but I was as well & instead of us commiserating & trying to work together to better deal with it, we were fighting & blaming each other. Being able to safely drive sure woulda been a lot better.
Things are a lot better now that I've been living with my girlfriend in an area with a public transportation system & some things within a short walking distance. I'm a lot more independent in some ways even if I'm still very dependent compared to most people. At least there's progress & alot less fighting & arguing :D


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18 Jun 2022, 11:35 am

I used to rely on my mother to drive me around from post-breakdown in my early 20s, but she can't drive anymore (I'm now 40), so...I kinda hitch a ride when I can from a neighbor that knows me through an older neighbor that really knows me and get as many things delivered as possible to get by. The nearest town is about...15 minutes by car one way, which contains most essentials and services.

If anyone relies on someone to get them around, it might be good to plan for if that's taken away for whatever reason if one hasn't, just so it's not as overwhelming when it happens. It was sorta sudden for me and whilst I got by, it was harder than it would have been than if I planned for it beforehand (lots of meltdowns and suffering from being overwhelmed in my case, and I was...36 or so). I'd hate for fellow people with Autism or Asperger's to suffer from such happening to them in the same way.



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18 Jun 2022, 1:04 pm

Car buying can be intimidating. It is generally the largest purchase a person makes, outside of a house.

The last car I purchased was a real mistake and I am having to live with it because I couldn't afford the loss on it should I have tried to trade it in for something else.

But in the end, it is just another purchase. Keep in mind that a new car loses a huge portion of its value the minute you drive it off the lot.

You have to decide what you want the vehicle for: long cross country drives? a short commute to a job? running errands? racing? attracting women?

Once you decide what you want the vehicle for, you start to google and look up repair statistics. You probably want to purchase a car that is considered reliable. Ford is pretty reliable. Fiat is not. For example.

You want to look up safety records as well. Again, google is your friend. Toyota, for example, is quite safe. Those little tiny cars I see on the roads now can't possibly be safe, but I haven't checked, maybe they are.

Using these criteria, you can narrow down your choices. Then go to some dealerships and test drive some cars. For me, good visibility is important and that sorely lacking in the vehicle I purchased. :(

Don't buy the car the day you test drive it. Sleep on your decision.

If you decide to buy a used car from another person, you want to go through the same process, except in addition, you will want to take the vehicle to a mechanic to have it assessed to make sure there is nothing seriously wrong with the car. I did quite well for some years driving a series of old Grand Marquises.

I was never able to rely on my parents for anything. They certainly did not ever purchase a car for me. I think this is a somewhat newer expectation. I don't think they would have bought me a car even had they the resources and inclination. it just wasn't done when i was growing up.

Unless I am in the wilderness, I have to have a car. I need that freedom to move when I feel the need and also take care of the things I need taken care of, such as medical appointments, etc.


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nick007
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18 Jun 2022, 3:21 pm

Dillogic wrote:
If anyone relies on someone to get them around, it might be good to plan for if that's taken away for whatever reason if one hasn't, just so it's not as overwhelming when it happens. It was sorta sudden for me and whilst I got by, it was harder than it would have been than if I planned for it beforehand (lots of meltdowns and suffering from being overwhelmed in my case, and I was...36 or so). I'd hate for fellow people with Autism or Asperger's to suffer from such happening to them in the same way.
That's good advice. It never hurts to have a backup plan in general thou they can be hard to make sometimes.


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Dillogic
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19 Jun 2022, 7:06 am

Some things you learn the hard way. :| Yeah, it is hard to plan for the future, events you never know when will happen, but if said events are sadly a certainty at some point, then even just having the thought of such in the back of your head can help when it happens. Anything to remove any amount of the feeling of being overwhelmed that'll lead to poorer functioning.

I guess my desire for routine tends to make this one a necessity for me.