Processing Delay

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Does anyone here have issues with taking much longer than other people to process things?

I take a very long time to process information, and it makes doing basic tasks and interacting with others really frustrating. I eventually can understand and do things just fine, but I take awhile to, which other people get really impatient over. I often get treated like I have an intellectual disability because of it, even though I don't. People talk down to me like I'm a child, act like I won't be able to understand or do basic things, etc. I comprehend a lot more than people think I do and I get really tired of being treated like I don't.

I have trouble with receptive language: listening to someone speak, or watching videos for instruction and information. It's considered an auditory-visual processing delay. I learn almost exclusively by reading, because I can go over the words again and again or even see them in my mind.

I have a really hard time with verbal conversations. If emotional content is involved, forget it! I just can't. It takes me about a week to process any type of emotional conversation and figure out how I feel about it. In my work setting which wasn't emotional, I still found it very difficult to a) pay attention to what they said, b) figure out what it meant (What do I have to do with this information?), c) figure out how to respond in real-time, and d) do the thing.

You're not alone. It's nothing to do with intelligence, either.

I have much difficulty in doing anything that is in motion or in "real time". I have 25th percentile visual processing and 35th percentile audio processing, so I actually miss more than half of anything that happens, is said, etc in real time.

I can't have conversations effectively because I miss so much of the information from body language to gestures, facial expressions, words said and the tone they are said in, pitch, tempo and so much more. My processing is too slow.

I did not learn I had this until I got neurological testing as part of my search for diagnosis as an old lady (diagnosed at age 68). I lived my life feeling incompetent, stupid, inept and confused and never knew it was my sensory processing disabilities. No wonder I struggled so and no wonder I was such a failure at most "real time/real life" interactions.

I have finally figured out that it is useless to go to lectures, seminars, watch movies, listen to podcasts, even recorded music with voices leaves me upset because I can't understand the lyrics, although eventually I can decipher most through using lyric search on the internet. I tend to avoid all but instrumental music because of this. I can not go to plays, participate in group discussions and struggle mightly with board games or other interactive things in "real life" timing.

Today I simply avoid those things to avoid the frustration and constant feelings of failure, and instead I concentrate on written communication, both reading and writing, in studies, books, and forums such as this one. Things like this page ARE my "social life".

I have learned through long experience that unless one to one with a sympathetic and patient other, my face to face or real time interactions are simple exercises in frustration.

It was such a relief to learn about my sensory processing limitations because all my life I was told I simply was not trying hard enough, not paying attention, not listening, etc etc.

Now I know everything was not shamefully "all my fault" for not doing enough to make it all happen. That was a huge burden lifted off my life of self blame and failure.

I have found other ways to be successful in my own life, that doesn't depend on interacting in "real time" in ways that others expect me to (and are disgusted or repelled when I fail). Hope you find accommodations that work for you. Best wishes

I'm still trying to work this out.

I can't read poetry as I can't sort all the metaphors out in real enough time to make any sense of it.
Plays are also difficult. I'm constantly distracted by the thespian habit of over-emphasising everything to make it carry on a stage.
With reading, I will reread a sentence often 3 or more times.
I have difficulty seeing what's happening in conversations. I think because I'm really good at masking.
What I often notice is that, someone says something. My fast mind delivers my reply, believing we are agreeing about something. Then they continue with their next sentence, and I discover our ideas are diametrically opposed or that we are actually talking about completely different things. NTs are actually quite good, I think at glossing over these glitches. Sometimes I get a strange look.
I wish I could be more present during conversation to be able to observe more of what is happening. I often realise something off about a conversation hours later when on my own and reflecting.

I was just thinking about a conversation I had with my boss and another manager, his right hand man. I was trying to explain that I have areas of strength AND areas of weakness. On a full scale IQ test I have some subtests (most) that are high 90s as percentile - and some far below average, one as low as 18th percentile. This kind of subtest spread is unusual and indicative of ADHD or Executive Function issues (common in both ADHD and Autism). The higher subtest are in an area which technical language calls “very superior” which is the highest of all categories. One one intellectual subtest i actually got “full marks” which was recorded as 99.9 percentile, but the comments from the tester (a PhD specializing in such tests) said would indicate mental ability above the tests ability to measure. But I have these other areas that just work very poorly. I was trying to briefly articulate that as an employee I had some areas of strength and some areas of weakness. What I said was “I have an above average IQ but also some specific areas of challenge.” My boss replied “My IQ isn’t very high at all.” The other manager said “I have a tiny little IQ.” I was surprised and confused by these statements and trying to make sense of the situation said “well … there is no correlation between IQ and success.” Later, much later, I was able to reprocess the conversation and realize that I had offended my boss by my statement about my IQ - he thought I was trying to say that I was superior to him in some way - he replied by asserting that he too had a high IQ, but said the opposite of what he meant. The other manager also was offended, and also made an assertion by saying the opposite of what he meant. I didn’t consider that my statement
would offend and did not understand the reaction for what it was. I knew something was wrong but didn’t figure it out until later. Then I was very embarrassed. I was also frustrated that my meaning was misunderstood, and I was not able to communicate my intended meaning.

I figured it out, but too late.

^^ NT responses like that are illogical to me. If you say you have a high IQ - good for you! I might feel sorry for myself relative to that area (which is my problem), but not offended. ---I have a friend who mentions her MBA at any chance. I see this as her wanting it to gain recognition and respect. It infuriates my other NT friend. ---I've noticed it's ok for parents to say their child is a top swimmer or chess player, but it's not received as enthusiastically that my children are top of their math classes. ---I also am 99.6% here and 19.9% there. It seems to me that if I face scorn related to my weaknesses (I hear: "just" this or that, it's simple ----- I think: for you!), it would be nice to face appreciation for my strengths (to hear: wow, good for you! ----and be relieved).

OP: I wonder about that processing issue for myself, my daughter. (1) Sometimes my mind seems blank, but I think mostly I have a million thoughts that "slow" me down and can't spit one out. Recently my new boss said the team would get together in person for the first time. I thought "oh, good, I want to meet the team!" "OMG what if I offend someone" "OMG travel" "OMG what if it's the week I drop my child off for her long-awaited camp" --- so there I am wrapped up in 100 concerns and unable to say anything appropriate. (2) On the other hand, I often have to have folks repeat themselves. I hear the most ridiculous things (why would my partner say "artichoke"?) --- if I wait and think I can make sense of it (oh, the kids asked him to look for chalk), but who wants to wait, so I ask him (and others) to repeat himself... a lot.

I find it really hard to process conversations with most people. They talk way too fast and expect too fast of a response from me for me to be able to process things effectively.

I also process visual information and even the things I think about a bit slower than other people, so I have delayed reaction time and take awhile to figure things out when I'm learning something or trying to switch tasks.

I also get intense anxiety at work going from task to task because I know it's going to take me a few minutes to process what's going on, and it gets really overwhelming. When I get situated in a new task I do fine though, as long as it's repetitive, which 99% of the tasks I do at work are repetitive (counting rags, folding clothes, etc.).

It takes me a while to process things, too.

People have commented that I'm so slow! Usually after laughing at a joke after everyone else has stopped