Any writers experienced this?

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A while ago I wrote a novel. I'd say it's a 'zero' draft novel - it's pretty nonsensical.

I used to write short stories and had some success, won some competitions, but my goal was always to write novels. Novelist is what I wanted to be.

I haven't written anything since I finished that draft zero a few years back. It's a bit over 100,000 words.

It's pretty much trashed my confidence. I don't seem to be able to chalk it up to experience, let it go, and start something new (I have ideas for other novels queued up to be written so I'm not 'blocked' creatively). I feel like it's important that I persist and at least get it into a state where its functioning as a story before I give up on it. If I don't go through that process I fear I'll end up in the same situation with whatever I write next.

But I'm overwhelmed by it. I can't work on it. So I do nothing.

I know others here have written novels. Does anyone have any advice? Have you experienced this?

I think every writer had experienced something like that. One thing that has helped me immensely has been belonging to a writers group where I've gotten encouragement from others who have felt the same sort of despair as I have.
For the record, the longest things I've ever finished has been a couple novellas. I also prefer writing short stories.

Thankyou. I did actually have a writing group once and it was the most productive I've ever been with my writing. It helps me a lot to have someone else expecting me to produce something! Sadly that group disbanded a few years back and I've been casting around for a replacement but coming up with nothing. It seems like Covid shut everything down around here and nothing has started up again.

It's very rare for an author to write the perfect first draft.

What I do after writing the first draft is go do something else for a week or two, then read through it and point out to myself all the stupid stuff I did, then start from scratch and rewrite almost everything for the second draft.

Then I repeat that process until I am either happy with it or hate it so much I want it over and done with.

I never expected my first draft to be perfect. In fact I had to explicitly give myself permission to write stuff I knew would need to be rewritten - that was the only way I could push through to a complete draft. Otherwise I just keep rewriting the same bit and never get anywhere!

I can do rewrites on my short stories, but a novel is too big to fit in my head all at once. It's overwhelming.

I don't think there is anyone in the world who can fit 100,000+ words into their head all at once.

Even Brandon Sanderson, who writes humongous novels 1000+ pages long, does it by writing an outline first, then filling out the chapters according to the outline he has written.

George RR Martin is apparently a pantser, who apparently writes according to what the characters he created would do, without an outline.

I have only written (and made) short films, and personally adhere to a strict plot outline - but I have been listening to writers talk about their work, and British novelist Will Self's technique always seemed to make sense to me in regards to how to maintain a certain cohesiveness as a novel grows: when he reaches roughly the midpoint of the story in his first draft and the details start to manifest, he spends only half of his time writing on - and the other half on rewriting from the beginning.

While it might seem antithetical for us Aspies, have you considered posting an interest in forming a writers group on internet sites, or even at bookstores?

Thanks for the suggestions. I think this is about me trying to work out my own personal method. I more or less 'pantsed' this novel because that's far more interesting to me than plotting it out. But it also seems to be the root of why I'm having so much trouble with it. Pantsing results in a lot more rewriting, evidently, but plotting doesn't appeal so much. I'm going to have to come up with some kind of hybrid approach I think, if I'm ever to come up with something I can show to anyone else.

And yes, Kraichgauer, I've come to the conclusion that I might have to try to start something. I'm not good at that stuff and I have some failures in my history that have affected my confidence. I asked in the local Nanowrimo discord group if anyone was interested in meeting physically but they didn't seem to be. I've put a group up on Facebook just as a flag in case anyone else is looking.

Thanks also Shlaifu for that suggestion on Will Self's method - not heard that before. I once attended a talk by an author who said she throws out her first draft and starts again. That seemed extreme to me at the time but the more I think about it the more appealing it seems to just rewrite everything better, rather than try to fix what I already wrote.

^^^
Wishing you luck. If I can think of anything else, I'll post it on this thread.