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Sup guys, so I have not been here in awhile just due to life stuff and just wandered into different interests.

In any case I have returned due to realizing I really do need to be part of something that is really part of who I am at a fundamental level. I have recently realized that part of my trauma was directly related to my childhood caregivers not accepting my autism and wanting to change me into who they wanted me to be.
I have been through so many jobs because of my desire to fit in and this change myself into (again) what/who I was expected to be. I am so sick and tired of the burnout related to masking.
So I guess in summary, I would love to learn who/what I actually am at my core... And that's where I am at in my journey. Is there a such thing as neurotypical recovery
I joke, I joke.
Anyway, I am stoked to be back and can't wait to get to know all of you

Welcome back to WP!

Welcome back!

Welcome back!

I would just say "welcome."

I've never "met" you before, I don't believe.

I hope your time on WrongPlanet is fruitful to you.

I do not know for sure but perhaps I might be able to point you in the right direction. It took me almost an entire lifetime to figure myself out, but I think I am getting closer.

I became the person that I am today at around the age of 3. Why 3? Well because it was the day that I died. I was attacked by a large bull who weighed over 1000 pounds and I weighed less than 20. It was like being attacked by a dinosaur. I do not remember the event but only what came afterwards. It is called a near death experience. One of the characteristics of a near death experience is

a sensation of leaving the body, sometimes being able to see the physical body while floating above it

This happened many years ago around 1951. I was right next to my dead body lying on my bed and my parents stood beside me. They were in utter shock and terror. I was given a decision. Someone asked me to decide. LIVE OR DIE. I looked up and saw their terror and decided to go on.

But the person that came back was not their son, it was a different part of their son. It was the right side of my brain rather than the dominant left side of my brain. It was a very different person that came back than the child that was killed by a bull.

So the right side of my brain became me and over time the left side came back to life and became my support nighttime brain. It was a brain flip. I think Jill Bolte Taylor in her book Whole Brain Living comes fairly close to describing the process. But she misses one very important point. What happens when someone has a near death experience when they are still young children before they reach adulthood (which happens around the age of 11-13).

Welcome back to Wrong Planet!

glad you are here. Childhood trauma is a lot of scary emotional homework. Knowing our diagnosis helps with self understanding. Do your best self care as you work through it and know you are not alone. This group is a great resource and the years of experience and insights of so many members is so helpful. welcome home!

Welcome back

Welcome Back..