Does Anyone Else Require Specific Directions?

Post Reply New Topic

Me: What's the address?
Them: It's on the corner of 5th Ave and Queen St, next to the CVS, you can't miss it.
Me: Ok... but what's the address?

I want to use my GPS.

Recipe: Add salt to taste. You can add tomatoes if you want.
Me: HOW MUCH SALT? WHAT IS THE MEASUREMENT? SHOULD I ADD TOMATOES OR NOT?

I've made banana bread so many times now and always look up a recipe, I'm just now starting to get used to the fact that it pretty much always calls for 2 eggs, 1 stick of butter and 2-3 bananas.

Software Tutorial: Click settings, then scroll down to...
Me: "MINE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THAT. THE LAST UPDATE SLIGHTLY CHANGED THE UI. WHAT DO!"

Them: I need you to do X
Me: Ok

*does X*

Them: ...WTF why didn't you do Y and Z?
Me: You didn't say anything about Y and Z?
Them: Doing X implies also doing Y and Z!

And so on and so forth. I'm not confident or comfortable doing any task without direction unless I've done it myself about 100 times. I never want to assume anything.

Aren't you glad the car's GPS never just says "Go THAT way!"

It is annoying when it wants me to go in a specific direction but I want to take a different street, and it takes forever to recalculate and just says "make a u turn" for miles.

At least it doesn't yell at you for not doing what it said to do.

It depends on the situation. Sometimes I need it very specific, other times not, and sometimes I can even be the one who wonders why other people didn't realize that y and z were part of an expected action.

I don't like imprecise recipes. I get that I can add things if I choose, that's fine, but a little something... Ugh, I don't know how much that is in that recipe....

I like clear instructions when I need them. When I don't, it can feel like being talked down to...

definitely, frequently, often and most of the time... I ask myself or others "what do they mean by that"???? Specific and super detailed directions are always best. Anything explained in great depth is much more useful than if done only in generalities!

Yes, I often want detailed step-by-step instructions, or in the case of directions to get to a place, a map with "you are here" and "your destination is here" marked on it. But there are exceptions, and paradoxically I don't like being micro-managed. I like to have a go at a task myself with somebody very wise watching my progress, who just gives direct, clear answers to my questions when I hit a block, and tactfully but firmly intervenes if I'm about to hit a block that's so serious that I could otherwise do a lot of damage. Unfortunately people like that don't grow on trees, so mostly I just follow my own methods and occasionally ask for help when I have to, but with little confidence that I'll get a lot of sense out of the people I ask.

I relate to this too. Me on my job: trying to decipher the secret unsaid directions while trying to do the tasks like a detective or a egyptologist trying to decipher hierogylphics. It is exhausting.

Also while cooking, my Mother never ever measures anything so i have to research online recipes all the time since i can't ask her.

I have come to the conclusion that some part of learning is instinctive and i don't have that instinct.

Other people's recipes are gobbledegook to me, and I always have to translate them into proper scientific protocols with exact weights, in grams of course, even for water.

I've long felt that instructions and teaching are mostly done wrong. There are many fudges in the methods. I used to work in science and I had a late diagnosis, so I grew up to think that the world's ways were simply uneducated and hideously inferior, but that didn't explain why most other people were able to follow them without much trouble.

“You know what I meant”

Sometimes I do sometimes I don’t. If somebody says that to me I assume 1. I did not know what was meant 2. I am being accused of lying.

But since I don’t know what was meant I might be wrong about that.

I don't drive and I understand directions like North, South, East or West. I get very confused when understanding directions.

I do in many cases, but things like recipes being like "you can add this" has never bothered me.

What I don't get about this is that if we need specific instructions it's a theory of mind issue but if an NT needs specific instructions from an autistic it's still a theory of mind issue on our part because we're thinking they can read our minds or something.

So the rule is, we must read other people's minds but we mustn't expect other people to be able to read our minds.

I think that is a good summary of the situation.

I prefer very specific directions, preferably written down; don't just tell me what I'm supposed to do or where to go because it will go in one ear and out the other. Recipes:I love to cook and bake, but I measure everything EXACTLY down to the tiniest grain of sugar or salt. I don't do dashes, pinches, dollop or any of those unspecified amounts. I am a reasonably intelligent person, but when somebody is giving me directions for how to do something I've never done or to go somewhere I've never been before, I will literally tell them to pretend I'm stupid and spell everything out in detail...and please write it down!! I suffer from CRS.

People accuse me of playing passive-aggressive games for following the directions they give instead of the directions they intend.

For example, my dad once told me to get on my bike, go to a specific service station, and pick up a fan belt.  The service station he named was across town.  He punished me for "playing games" by going to the "wrong" service station (the one he named) instead of the one he intended, and would not admit that the station he intended for me to go to had a different name.

"You should have known!", was his reasoning.

He neither admitted he was wrong nor apologized for being wrong.