Should I seek an ADHD diagnosis for my younger daughter?

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My older daughter is diagnosed ASD. I knew she was ASD since I learned I was but I decided to diagnose her only when she had a big burnout and needed more help than could be provided without the diagnosis. Now she has elements of spec ed in a mainstream school and it works well enough.

Now, there's the younger girl. I suspect she might be ADHD. She's super intelligent and capable, she has good social skills. As a preschooler, she just couldn't sit still. Lol, even as a baby, she jumped all the time, often hitting me really hard without meaning to.
Now she's 4th grade. She's doing at school reasonably well, thought the signs of being gifted she showed at preschool age seem to have disappeared. I don't mind it but I notice it.

And now she started to suffer prolonged unexplained stomachaches. Omeprazole and probiotics help a bit but not enough.
And I started to wonder - I had similar stomachaches as a teenager and young adult. They were all somatizations - they ended only after I sorted out my life to decrease stress. Is the same happening to my daughter?
Is living with ADHD without making much trouble possible for her smart mind but at a cost?

A question for those who took ADHD medicine: do you think it would be worth it to take ADHD medicine not to need to keep taking stomach medicine?

maybe it's the school that's the reason? I don't know much about the Polish educational system, but perhaps it's not suited for her. my daughter is the same age, and doesn't like sitting still for too long either, and is also gifted in maths, sciences and music. she's also very kinesthetically oriented - so she's doing taekwondo and gymnastics, going to music school, which helps her survive long sitting hours in school. I'm hardly an expert in ADHD, but I wouldn't put small children on such medication unless absolutely necessary. I do find Sir Ken Rogers rather useful when it comes to explaining how current education models are outdated, made in the time of the industrial revolution to produce workers suited for that age and they don't work for many children, who find long sitting hours exhausting, hence they're put on medications, which just numb them. I'd rather move her to some alternative education system (Waldorf or Montessori) or schools that have physical education every day. But you know your daughter best, and know best what's good for her. Hope these videos might be of help:

[youtube]https://www.ted.com/talks/sir_ken_robinson_do_schools_kill_creativity?language=en[/youtube]

[youtube]https://www.ted.com/talks/sir_ken_robinson_how_to_escape_education_s_death_valley?language=en[/youtube]

[youtube]https://www.ted.com/talks/sir_ken_robinson_changing_education_paradigms[/youtube]

My younger adult child has ADHD and anxiety. The ADHD was something her 3rd grade teacher picked up on; the anxiety was not diagnosed until she burned out as a junior in high school.

She suffered immensely from stomach aches as a child.

I personally believe it is all related, yes.

We did not take my daughter to get a medical diagnosis of her ADHD as a child, and she has mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, she is glad she wasn't pushed into medication. Despite the struggles at school, she was smart enough to cope and learn her own work-arounds, and she is glad she was able to develop those without losing herself. That is what we wanted for her at the time, and she has said she thinks we made the right call. Friends who took medication definitely felt like they lost themselves, and some became resentful.

On the other hand, medication could have removed a lot of stress factors that took her anxiety past the breaking point. If taking that route could have prevented the junior year break down, it might have been worth it. My daughter, however, thinks we would have only delayed the inevitable. She needed everything she's gone through to learn who she is and how she needs to conduct her life. If she chooses medication now, all the foundations are there for her to be successfully using it as a tool, instead of as a cover up.

Note that we had the option because she was succeeding in school by all outward appearances the entire time. She is super bright and very skilled at hiding her internal struggles from everyone, including herself. If you know a child cannot succeed at school without medication, I think the decision tree is different than ours was.

Point being, a lot of variables are involved in these decisions and a parent has no choice but to rely on instinct and hope they've made the right call. I'm not sure there is a right or wrong answer; we do the best we can with information we have at the moment and hope it works out in the end.

I know this is a bit of a non-answer answer, but maybe you can find something in my daughter's experience that will help you.

There's a reasonable chance the stomach issues are from masking or the additional burden working around ADHD presents.

At the very least, trying to have her on an ADHD medication will serve to help understand the problem. If no improvement occurs, you can rule out it's related to ADHD and have fewer things to consider while investigating the stomach issues.

At best, it'll significantly improve things.

@Chuckster -

I can't believe it! I saw the Ken Robinson "Factory-Like Education" video years ago and I've been searching for it ever since. I couldn't remember the title. Thank you soooo much for posting it. I was going out of my mind trying to find it.


@Magz -

I agree that meds should be a very last resort after very careful consideration with doctors. Is it possible she's experiencing early hormonal issues / pre-puberty stuff? I know she's a little young but I've known many girls who start to have stomach issues at that age.

I didn't take any psych meds until adulthood. It's possible she does have ADHD but you might want to go for thorough testing first, just to make sure. From there they might be able to provide her with an ADHD "coach", a psychologist who helps her to set and meet personal goals. It's a new program here so I don't know if you have that available where you are. Occupational Therapy could also help her to learn focussing skills, or how to deal with any stress and anxiety especially if it's sensory or related to her environment (school). Personally I've had good results with Omega 3 fish oil supplements, and methylated B-Complex vitamins including methylfolate. I know it might sound airy-fairy to recommend vitamins but they both improve brain health and help the nervous system. The stomach is part of our nervous system so I believe it could help.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

That's exactly what I fear and this is why I asked about experiences with ADHD medication.
She's only developing her sense of self.
She's doing at school reasonably well.
I have much more difficulty connecting with her than with my older daughter because her needs are so different from mine... but what I suspect are ADHD symptoms we jokingly call "her puppy nature". I don't want to get rid of her puppy nature, even if it's sometimes problematic, I think that's a part of the depth of experiencing the world as her.

@Isabella
We don't have ADHD coaches here and that's a pity. Yes, I think a psychologist who could help her guide through her needs and how to happily be herself would be the best. ADHD therapy I see here is mostly about social skills, where she's already better than her parents
She might be experiencing onset of puberty hormone problems. Her body hair is already quite adult while the body shape is long, thin and curveless. Can this be connected to the stomachaches? I remember I was told this when I was experiencing them and it didn't really help.
I can try with Omega-3 and B-Complex, overall healthier body is always a good thing.

Moving to a different school - I'm not fond of the idea. She has plenty of friends at school and it would be a pity to lose this. It's possible that my and my brother's traumatic experience of changing school at 10 and 12 contributes - I don't want to risk this for my children unless no other option is possible.

I'll welcome everyone's experiences on ADHD therapy, broader view will help make better decisions.

My daughter hasn't engaged in any therapy, but I do know the primary tool she uses: multi-tasking. She concentrates better when she is doing two things at once, like doodling when listening to a lecture, or playing music when she is doing homework. One kind of has to find the balance for themselves.

When she had a teacher challenge her on her doodling in class by frequently asking her questions on what was just said, my daughter proved herself by answering flawlessly until the teacher gave in. Ideally you could get such an accommodation written into an individualized education plan, instead of hashing it out teacher by teacher as my daughter did.

My kids were such a big pain to their teachers, but in a way that left the teachers with fun stories to tell, instead of frustration. Phew. Not sure I'd recommend anyone else do things in class as they did because it may not always be seen kindly.