Daisy100 wrote:
I have often felt child like in my behaviour and learning. Other times, i am pro active, strong and bright. I have been told i dont act my age. For now, until i get a formal duagnosis i am self diagnosing an ASD. I know i have an ASD. Life has been exhausting, trying to be the person i thought i should be. Only over the past 6 or so weeks, am i embrassing me for who and how i am. I dont want to cover up the real me any more. I cant. I am still trying to understand my attachment to others. Definatly build attachment to older males, to the point that my heart shatters. It has been very painful.
so brave of you! it's so great to be around people who can relate. yes life can seem "too big" and once you come to a place of self-acceptance (with or without a diagnosis...which has been my biggest hurdle) things that were upsetting because they were stifled, are allowed out in the sunlight and turn out be indearing traits. i encourage you to explore. you might be surprised by things you're "allowed" to embrace are not so bad when they are not stiffled.
Example: I have selective mutism...suffered though so much to people others. it stressed me out so much my jaw started locking up and so on....now that i accept my real self...i keep my mouth shut if i feel like it and it's nobody's business but mine hehe.