Am I the only one hesitating while everyone else says Yes ?

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I seem to feel bad because I don't feel like one of these people that jumps into things straight away and does them and says ''Yes'' to everything. I find myself always hesitating and taking a while to think about whether or not to to say Yes or No to something and then it comes across as though I am ''not living'' because I am hesitating and I feel the only one while everyone else is saying Yes and doing something whether they really want to or don't really want to.

I seem to think that if some people telling other people to do something by saying for example, ''Oh come on, live a little, you only get one chance in life.'' It sometimes doesn't always encourage the other person to do something and that might come across as patronising. I feel like I should be one of these people who do lots of extreme sports, parachuting out of a plane or something, diving into a deep pool, getting onto really fast and sick-inducing rides at a theme park like that ''should'' be the life you ''have'' to live before you get old. The thing is I'm not into going on really fast rides at theme parks, and I don't seem very keen to want to jump from an extreme height despite having a harness and that chances of an accident are extremely minimal.

I get that said to me too. But my ears hold me back from some things. One thing is I have vertigo, and drinking alcohol or smoking weed can trigger my vertigo and make me feel sick and dizzy, and I have emetophobia so I rather just avoid any alcohol or weed altogether. But then that leads me to a lonely life, as most people around me seem to depend their social lives on weed and alcohol, and it's easier to make friends if you do weed and alcohol.

I love rollercoasters but again I suffer with vertigo, even if I take antisickness pills I still feel dizzy and lightheaded after being on a rollercoaster that goes too fast.

I have always loved swimming but it always gives me ear/nose infections if I go under the water. I've worn earplugs in the pool before but still somehow got an ear infection. Also I've lost my confidence in deep water because of an incident that happened in childhood when I got out of my depth and nearly drowned.

I get anxious when on a plane in case I randomly start throwing up or having diarrhea. I'm now phobic about having diarrhea in public too, because of an incident that happened last year when I was in my boyfriend's car on a busy road and I suddenly had the urge to go (was on the way to an appointment for a bladder check where I had to drink a lot of water but somehow the water all went to my bowels instead of my bladder). My bowels were way over their capacity with diarrhea so I panicked and begged my boyfriend to let me out in the middle of the highway, because I didn't want to do diarrhea in his car where it will cause that embarrassing eggy smell. So he stopped the car and I jumped out. I felt a bit better standing and walking in the fresh air, as I didn't feel the pressure so much. To cut a long story short I got to a bathroom safely.

And I feel pain so much that I'm unable to have sex properly and I feel dread and fear whenever I think of pregnancy and childbirth, even though I want a baby.

So yeah, I don't "live" either. Then I get jealous of other people who do live and do all the things I can't due to my fears.

I tend to say No a lot myself. In my experience saying No is more likely to go better for me. I tend to dislike fun or rather what others tend to consider fun. I think that's common for those of us on the spectrum who like & need routine & predictability, tend to have problems with social skills, being bullied, problems with being independent & functioning in life, have PTSD, OCD, &/or anxiety issues.

Have you seen the Jim Carrey movie, Yes Man? Jim(I forget the character's name, I probably only saw it when it came out) gets hypnotized into saying Yes to everything & he agrees to things that most anybody with a lick of common-sense would never do without aLOT of vetting like sending a seemingly obvious email phishing scammer a lot of money, & also marrying an Arab woman who was wanting a green card to the US. Somehow most things turned out well for Jim. The scammer was actually being honest & Jim got his money back, plus a bit(or a lot) extra. The Arab woman was a real woman who was trying to make the marriage work. Real life does NOT work like the movies for most people thou The average person knows that & has some street smarts. The average person knows how to read various situations & other people some, has a support network, & is not majorly struggling day to day & can afford & handle some screw ups.

Since I used a movie reference, I'll add a Star Trek one
Rule of Acquisition #68~ "Risk doesn't always equal reward"
& #288~ "Never get into anything that you can't get out of"