Bullied at work specifically because of ASD

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Most, if not all, of us have been bullied at work.

My question though is: Who here has been bullied specifically because of being on the spectrum?

I certainly have. At a past job, 2 months into the job, my boss said something to the effect of:

"Your behavior has been highly unacceptable. I don't believe it. You're one of the worst employees I've ever seen. There better be a good explanation. Do you have any conditions that might explain your behavior? If so, as your boss, I need to know"

It wasn't hard to read between the lines and figure out...what he meant was "I can tell you're on the spectrum. If you fess up, I'm going to admire your honesty. If you don't fess up, you're fired."

I had no choice but to come clean.

Then fast forward many months later. As the time went on, I became a better and better employee. Once a promotion came available, I thought I was a shoe in. Yet he gave the promotion to a newer employee.

That was when I had no choice but to resign. It became clear that, no matter how much I progressed at work, my boss was always going to hold the fact I'm on the spectrum against me. He never came out and said that's why I was denied the promotion. But I'm 100% confident being on the spectrum was why I got denied the promotion.

What sort of behaviour did he find highly unacceptable?

To avoid potentially identifying myself, I'm going to be vague.

The behaviors he found highly unacceptable fell under 2 main umbrellas:

1. I unknowingly committed some faux pas with customers.

2. Like a lot of people on the spectrum, I have a high IQ but struggle with common sense. When I was learning the job, there were certain things I had a hard time grasping at first (which my boss thought should have been no brainers)

i get bullied at work mostly because alot of people at work dont believe i have autism they just say im a nasty psycho using autism as a way of getting people to feel sorry for me

which i think is a bad thing to say to an autistic person who is just trying to live their life and cope through life

and neurotypicals are supposed to have empathy and we not??

Always thought it was incredibly tactless that people could pick on those with disabilities, although this instance wasn't what I was really expecting honestly. We need more support, not less, and bullying is one of the worst things a person can experience, particularly when they're struggling with their self-esteem and mental health as is.

My example might not sound as severe as some. However, being on the spectrum is a highly stigmatized/personal thing. No employee should get blackmailed by their boss into admitting we're on the spectrum.

Then the icing on the cake: To deny the employee a promotion because of it, despite the fact the employee came a long way.

Skinny Elephant,

If that's the case, then it was probably more than bullying but it was probably more of a case of discrimination.

As for workplace bullying:

-I used to work at a warehouse that was part of a work program where I got bullied. I would say that 75% of the workforce there participated in it. Even the CEO participated in the bullying and she was a mother of an autistic son who was on the other end of the spectrum. However, they were small-minded people who were extremely full of themselves. They were also mean-spirited people who were probably very insecure. They didn't like me because I was too honest for my own good and then I got tired of putting up with some of the things that they did.

- I would say that my last supervisor was a bully to me as well even though she was trained to work with people who had disabilities. She also preached about the importance of including disabled people in every area of life. When in reality, she was a communal narcissist who only works in the field for praise and validation. She was also very threatened by several disabled people who she worked with that were hard-working and self-determined individuals. She tried to find any way she could to undermine those people and sadly, I was one of them.

What exactly occurred with the customers?


What things?


What did they do?

Hi:
She was jealous of me and tried to find examples proving that I couldn't work because of my disability.

At my job I try to pass as just ADHD (and some other stuff). I get along well with most of the people. There are multiple other people at my work who are likely on the spectrum. Some of them fit in, others don't. The attitude towards disability, especially developmental disabilities and intilectual disabilities varies quite a bit amongst the staff. Once when one of the shift leads was gossiping about a shift lead who was coming from a nearby store to help multiple times when we we short staffed said, " you know he actually said that he has 'high functioning autism'. Like whatever, he's just ret*d."

I've definitely been bullied at work but I think it was more because I was very blunt and honest; I threw myself into my job and did it to the best of my ability; I didn't have much common sense; I couldn't do the office politics and schmoozing everyone; I occasionally had meltdowns because I couldn't express myself.

I didn't know I had autism back then though and neither did they.

I was shocked to find out that most people DON'T throw themselves into their jobs and do it to the best of their ability. Many people slack off, do the minimum, waste time!

Also many women are jealous of me because I am thin and pretty. Sorry to sound conceited but I've worked out that is a big offence to many women because they go on and on and on bltchlng about my looks and figure. So I eventually worked out they are jealous. I have that unfortunate combination of looking attractive, working hard and being too blunt and honest. A fatal combination for getting on with other women- they hate people like me!

In one company I worked in, there was a really attractive man who worked hard and was also very blunt. Funnily enough, people adored him!

Pathetic eh. I'm not going to change myself to please them!

We have a man like that at work but most people dislike him. Not me though. He is a good friend but most of the others can't see that he's a lovely man who cares too much. But the others think he's too fussy and annoying.

I used to have a friend who was jealous of me because I was slimmer than her, was confident in not wearing make-up, and had more savings in my bank account than she did. She couldn't bear it, and would start lecturing me into eating more to gain weight, putting on make-up, and taking my money out to spend. And the more I said no the more frustrated she got, until we fell out. Then she kept sending me nasty texts saying I was a cocky liar.
I get jealous of people too, but I never show it. It's OK to be jealous but it's not OK to pick on the person you're jealous of. I'm sorry that happened to you.

When this fully set in, even though I always knew people do this, it shocked me a bit too. I find it hard to just do the bare minimum and I like making sure everything is done right. Everyone else at my job half-asses theirs in some way and that's just expected + encouraged. My coworkers don't seem to mind my work ethic though, since I just keep myself to my standards + do a lot of s**t for them at our very physical job. lmao

I've always thought the same thing. Are people so insecure that they feel the need to bully people with disabilities in order to make themselves feel big and important? I think it's very sickening that people do that.

That doesn't sound like much of a good friend, it sounds like it's better you're not friends with her anymore. Real friends should support and uplift you, not lecture and sabotage you and send nasty texts.

Thanks Joe. It's happened all my life: every time I meet women I don't know their conversation turns within about 5 minutes to how thin I am. Who bl00dy cares. It's what's in my heart and my character that's important. Not what the weighing scales say. The frustrating thing is, I've had terrible health problems most of my life. THAT is why I'm thin. Not some stupid magical diet.

The obsession with being thin is getting to be an epidemic. I blame the media making women think they have to be thin to be worth anything. And they've started on men now too, they also think they have to look perfect to be worth anything.

Where will it end...

I agree with you. Most people slack off. Most people don't mean what they say. Most people don't answer questions clearly and quickly.

^All those things took me a while to learn. What are these homo sapiens? I often wonder... I can't relate to them.