Do we crush harder than NTs?

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When we form a crush on someone, do you think it is more intense than the crushes that NTs generally form? That seems to have been my experience-that past crushes involved me feeling more intense about it than the other person did. I would think about the person all of the time. Given our tendency to hyperfixate on things, this would make sense. We can make the object of our crush a special interest for us.

Anyone else have this experience?

It’s hard to say since I don’t know how other people feel. I’ve certainly experienced some intense crushes, though.

I think it's a common experience for us. I do have a very long-lasting and keen attachment to one of my closest same sex friends whom I have feelings for. But idk that it's crushing harder than a NT.

My male friend (ASD or ASD-adjacent for sure) who is romantically interested in me (not mutual) seems actually obsessed with me. I think I fall under the category for his special interest.

Does the object of your crush seem to treat you the same way you treat them? Or do they seem to show less interest in you based on their behavior towards you? Do you always have to be the one to initiate communication, for example?

I didn’t know we were talking about mutual crushes. I thought it was just crushes in general. A person can have a crush on someone that doesn’t especially fancy them and vice versa.

I generally don’t initiate communication. I usually keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. I’m an introverted introvert.

You are correct-Crushes can and often do work one way or one sided also. I guess I was asking about mutual ones where we might be able to get an idea as to the intensity of the other person's feelings.

I don’t really understand the concept. If both people like each other, it wouldn’t be much of a crush. They’d probably become a couple unless they were both in committed relationships, I suppose.

In any case, we can’t determine how most people feel off of a couple specific examples.

Unless one is too shy or rejection-phobic to act on their feelings, even if they has suggestions that the other person liked them as well.

I agree.

I suppose a crush can become an obsession. When I was a teenager I was prone to getting crushes on random men and sometimes it would turn into an obsession. And, believe me, that is not healthy. If I were a guy obsessing like that over women I'd probably have gotten arrested. But society is more accepting of girls obsessing over men, so I was just seen as an annoying pest. I knew what I was doing, but the obsession was like what heroin is to drug-addicts: everything. The obsessions I had took over my mind and my life and became more important than my schoolwork, friends, exams, and ambitions. And I didn't even enjoy these obsessions. It alienated me and I felt quite isolated by it, especially when my closest relatives started telling me not to talk about my obsessions. But how can you not talk about something that's overtook your mind and is more important than anything else?

I think I should have got the same help for my obsessions that a heroin addict gets for their addiction, because it was that bad.

What kind of help can be available for obsessions like that? Or any other type of obsession that takes over your life?

When I've formed crushes it wasn't anything to do with finding them attractive or wanting their love.
It was that I wanted to be them.
And it was mostly their qualities, like their use of language, manners or moral code which I admired.
My crushes have been very long lasting.

Since leaving the teenage years behind, I don't really have crushes on distant or uninterested people.

What I have done--and it's very dangerous--is fallen hard for women who showed any romantic interest in me, regardless of their obvious "red flags." When you go through life being misunderstood, someone finally seeming to "get" you is a very potent aphrodaisiac. I would guess I'm not the only autistic person with this experience.

iv never had crushes

men get obsessive with me tho

Oh man. THIS. ^ *Carolyn* *DianeKeaton* *JH*
It was all about their moral code and imprinting or trying to figure out how to be a girl.
It started as far back as Kindergarten when I got hit by the bike-a-thon to see Carolyn.

Crushes on men for romance?
Same idea ^ and they never ever end, because the person always stays admirable.
I don't willy-nilly with who I'll crush about.

No, I think a lot of us have had this problem. After being treated like a loser for years, the times someone shows interest in you seem amazing.