Fairfield wrote:
I thought splitting would be higher for me too, especially since the "unstable relationships" part was high??? I don't get the scoring for that, but maybe I misunderstand what "splitting" really encompasses. I know I lowkey switch between being infatuated w/ and devaluing people pretty often though...
Splitting, as I understand it, is cutting off a relationship and all of your feelings about that person, possibly with cause (it might be an over-exaggerated cause due to people with BPD being paranoid and feeling things very deeply), or with no cause at all. It's not something you try to do, necessarily, it's just something that happens.
I guess 'unstable relationships' is more to do with how those relationships are before you 'split', i.e. are they tumultuous, violent, off-again-on-again etc.
I thought I'd rank higher on splitting because it's something that always happens to me. I can really like someone and then suddenly I just don't care anymore and I can't make those feelings come back. I can't even relate to the feelings that I had at the time or the person I was then. My former best friend (parted ways because of different universities, no ill feeling, didn't maintain contact) has invited me out for a catch-up a few times in the past few years, and I just can't for the life of me understand the mindset of wanting to reconnect. We were best friends for all of our teenage years but I just don't feel anything either way any more.
I have her number on a post-it in the back of my phone, actually - she works in the same field as my mum and gave her the post-it to give to me about two weeks ago. I'm just too scared because I think I'm a different person. I genuinely loved her so I don't know why it just instantly went away the second we parted.
Last edited by racheypie666 on 29 Apr 2023, 10:35 am, edited 1 time in total.