Bad Interaction with Relatives

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One time in the past I was visiting my grandparents and talking to them. My grandfather who knew I was autistic asked me "Are You Ever Going to Amount to Anything?" Well something to that effect. I immediately started crying and drove home in tears. I struggle being unemployed because I know my grandfather if he was alive today would think I did not amount to anything. Was my grandfather out of line?

My mother said I was useless as tits on a bull, and that I looked ret*d when stimming.

She said the bull comment to a roomful of women when we were hosting a baby shower.
I was twelve and it was the weekend after John Lennon died.
The women all sat there with their fancy teacups and didn't know wtf to say.

Another comment was that she wished she could trade me for her friend's daughter.
Her daughter was like Cinderella because she was good at cleaning.
I guess that girl wasn't useless like me.

It's sad to think of the impact they've been able to have on our lives.
I bet my mother doesn't even remember saying that to me.
I bet your grandfather didn't remember it for very long with you either.

Family means nothing in the grand aspect of things. Blood is not thicker than water.

Chosen family is where I find love and understanding; most specifically other humans on the autism spectrum who've I've met on online group gatherings for support and socializing.

Ya, their nice to have around, but personally it seems my company is only validated and/or appreciated when it's at my expense and their convenience.

Sorry to hear about your predicament. Those whom "love " us are the ones that tend to hurt us the most.

It surprises me the emphasis on family that many preach, and yet for most it is a drag to be around them. Both my parents moved far away from their families and I can see why, I myself can hardly be around them myself for more than a short trip. (In fact, my father has a “48 hour” rule that he can only be around his parents and other family for two days before leaving.) I’m not allowed alone anymore with my paternal grandfather after he tried taking pictures of me sleeping.

Many people have bad experiences with their families, I mention this not to diminish your experience, but to show why people are now very accepting of found/chosen families: not everyone gets along nor wants to deal with their relatives and that’s fine. My mother always says how important family is, and yet she complains about them all the time, I guess it’s only something some people want to handle.

Growing up, my parents would often bully me out of the blue whenever they felt like it. For instance, they were supposed to be celebrating my 19th birthday. Earlier that day, my mom went to meet with the school psychologist to talk to her about my situation. Then during the said celebration, my parents and one of my sisters humiliated me by talking about everything that was wrong with me. They also sang, "Happy Birthday to you, you live in a zoo." When I got mad at them afterward, they shifted the blame and gaslit me.

However, that is one of the main reasons why I have gone no contact with them.

Was he out of line? Yeah. Unfortunately, a lot of us are dealt crappy hands where family is concerned. My mother is like that. I tend to think on it all like this though; if someone foul thinks negatively of me, it's a compliment because I want to be nothing like them.