Intense depression advice?

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Hello, I am new here. I have ASD and found this website because I am experiencing deep feelings of shame and depression brought on by the feeling of saying something I shouldn’t have that makes me look different than the way I intended. I feel very close to my co worker in a friendly manner. However sometimes when my camouflage fails, if I sense he’s feeling less than friendly towards me, or I can see a “you’re crazy” look in his eyes because of something I did or said it brings on this depression. Has anyone else experienced this?

I haven't experienced exactly that but I know that awful feeling of knowing I did or said something I shouldn't have (maybe because I didn't realize it was wrong at that moment, or maybe because my emotions took over, or something else) and now I can't take it back, because it's done. I just feel like I wish I could go back in time and undo it, and I can't.

I haven't had deep depression as a result of those feelings. I'm not sure how to deal with that, but it sounds like the sort of thing that a therapist would have strategies for. Would it be possible for you to see a therapist? Ideally someone who is knowledgeable about ASD.

Yes that feeling of obsessing over not being able to take it back. And then if you try to fix it, it’s worse. I think just knowing I’m not the only one helps a lot. Thank you for sharing. I’m looking into seeing someone.

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD). It's a b***h.

Just researched this. Yes very accurate thank you. It is definitely a b***ch.

I made a comment to my doctor about her personal life (her new baby) in 2016, and I think she took it the wrong way. I've cringed every time I see her since then. Sometimes I just can't let it go when I know I did a social gaffe. I doubt she even remembers it. I doubt it was even a problem in the first place, tbh.

I don't have depression from these mistakes but it's frustrating. I wish communication could be as easy as it seems to be in the movies, or on TV.

I don't really have advice. I hate to say it, but chances are it will happen again for all of us. I'm sure it happens for NTs too, and it's not just autistic people who make mistakes.

Yes thank you for sharing. I know what you mean. Sometimes when I’m around someone I can’t stop my head from going back to the moment of mistake and all before. Very possible they have no idea what I’m thinking or even remember what we talked about five minutes ago. I don’t understand why everyone can’t just say what’s on their mind. Telling someone the truth should be a sign of respect and love, instead it’s scoffed at and you’re pre determined false because “no one is that honest or nice”.

But yes, I’m sure everyone of all types feels this way.

My policy is to act 100% honestly. How can you be wrong if you speak only the truth? However, it does mean you need to cut out people in your life who don't accept you or the truth, or at least keep healthy distance. Don't know what you said, but if you can't change this guy's opinion of you, then minimize his importance in your life.