In a terrible place. I’m fed up with my life.

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I think that the one thing I’ve had going for me was the thought that things were gonna be better, that I have a lot to look forward to in life.

Nothing has gotten better. People are irritating me on a daily basis and it’s impossible to find a girlfriend. No one ever swipes right on me on Facebook dating and no girl will ever have a f-ing conversation with me. Meanwhile, people my age and younger have so much more success(dating someone for much longer periods of time, being able to find another girl quickly, etc).

I felt at one point that I’ve found my own peace as someone with Asperger’s, but here I am feeling worthless again. Things always turn out less than desired, which has been the status quo for a long time and I’m sick of it. Can things actually get better for once in my damn life!?!?!?!

I grew up in Iowa also!

I felt pretty much like that when I was 22 also but didn't know I had Asperger's back then. Didn't learn it for another 20 years. Just thought I was pretty much a loser.

I have been married for 23 years now. If I can get married almost anyone can. I didn't have much success with women when I was younger. Didn't really happen until my late 20s.

So, yes, things can get better with time and/or age.

What is irritating you? Can you change either the situation or your attitude?

What are you looking for in a woman? What is THAT woman looking for in a man? Become that, or change your expectations.

Where are those women? (Locations like church or bars or rec centers, or activities like service projects, sports teams, or line dancing) go there.

My kid moved to a new state. 5 weeks - decided to move, started applying for jobs, got a job, got an apartment, sold her car, packed up/sold/donated all her stuff, bought a “new” car that would make the drive, quit her old job, broke her lease, moved and started the new job. She’s older than you are.

It may help to interact with people outside your age group, at least to give you sense of belonging, and "practice" in interacting with others. That age you're at now is very tough one to navigate, for anyone not "hardwired" to be a gregarious and social creature, as most "NTs" are. Dare I say, embrace the fact that you don't really need to go through all that. It is not required, its just allowed to flourish in society bc "Human animal" and all that. IOW, you can survive this, if you do not give it too much weight. It is a sh*tshow, but only for so long. Find your passions outside of that realm.

I think that working on finding your peace is a worthwhile endeavor. Whether things go well or go poorly, it's always better to be at peace with yourself and with the world, even though the world is going to be frustrating and unfair, at least some of the time.

- no one owes you a conversation
- women aren't prizes to be sought after as if you are trying to score in a game'
- you are 22 and it doesn't make sense to date until you got your crap figured out. Don't date until you have your career figured out.

If you ever do have a family, you will regret not appreciating the quiet and solitude. You can go from lonely to wishing you could be alone more real quick.

This may sound like a tiresome platitude, but one thing that can help us feel better when the world is not treating us well is to be of service to others. It actually works and makes us feel better, because we feel we are doing something good so we feel good about ourselves, and it can also serve as a distraction from our own troubles.

And it opens up possibilities, too, because you might meet people that see you as a helper and as someone who cares, and they might be more receptive to you than if they see how fed up and frustrated you are.

I'm sure you can find volunteer opportunities doing something that interests you. One of the easiest ones that comes to mind is to volunteer at a food pantry. I've done that, and it was pretty simple.

Can't FIND a girlfriend, gotta ATTRACT one. Become more attractive and wait patiently.

I haven't used fb dating, but even using gay hookup apps I find that my success rate is largely correlated to my Mood/thoughts/mental health in the moment even if I don't write anything about it. It's a "vibe thing." If I'm in a good head space and Feeling attractive, I can login with the exact same profile text and receive a bunch of messages or responses.. whereas if I'm not feeling so great, I already Know a big fat nothing is going to come of my logging in or chatting and I may actually deter some from messaging or replying.

Best way to be thinking & feeling good is through regular exercise, IMO.


If you login to a dating app with the thoughts/feelings/mood & vibe you had while writing the OP; you're gonna have a bad time. Much the same as if you went out to a coffee shop, pub/club etc in a foul mood.. even if you don't say a word, even if your facial expressions and body language are blank and don't communicate much - your "vibe," will deter people just based on the frequency of the thoughts going through your mind. Gotta increase your frequency.. elevate your vibe - then you'll be in the mindset & zone to Attract a potential date. Healthy stuff like diet/exercise/sunshine/water/sleep etc all contribute to making someone happier, healthier, and more attractive to others.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

No, your attitude doesn’t change the situation, but if you can’t change the situation, you may need to work on your attitude - accepting, adapting, coping.

How are you trying to figure out what they are looking for? Maybe ask some questions? Do you have any male friends whose gfs would give you some idea?

What are you doing to try to get to know new people?

Honestly, I lived in Iowa for 18 months in my 20s. I hated it. But I did make a few friends. I walked down the street and talked to neighbors who were in their yards. I talked to other people with children at the park (I had 2 kids), I talked to random women in the locker room at the Y (don’t try that, you’ll get arrested)

Do you have a job? If so, what is it?

Do you live on your own?

Do you drive?

Do you go to the gym?

Do you have savings?

Do you avoid spending your days playing video games and watching internet porn?

Do you need a haircut?

Do you dress well? By well I mean looking like a man with his act together.

Have you tried all those things?