starting a blog

Post Reply New Topic

So there is a neurodivergent group online that has tons of zoom meet ups and they are starting a new platform. I have been asked to write a blog and I’m nervous about it. I don’t have an editor so I was hoping if I post it here people could help me with it. I can’t figure out how to attach it so I’ll just copy/paste. Thank you in advance! I had to remove links


Neurodivergence and unmasking.

I’m neurodivergent and there’s a high probability I’m on the spectrum. I’m not a doctor, therapist or expert of any kind. I’m a person who has read a lot of books and is trying to figure things out. Since there are no guidebooks for this I’m going to try to write one. This is not something I can do on my own. I need YOUR help! I’ll write whatever random s**t comes into my head and then you give me feedback. Eventually if enough people respond I will have some guidelines that apply to as many neurodivergent people as possible. The only rule I have is that you are respectful. I will always try to do the same and if I screw up and say something offensive, please call me out on it so I can try to do better. As a white woman I am coming from a place of privilege. I have been ignorant about many things. The things I’m writing about specifically affect people of color and people in the queer community. I will try to always be respectful and inclusive. I grew up learning many stereotypes and racist beliefs whether implicit or explicit. I am now actively trying to be anti-racist.

I am pansexual and consider myself queer but that doesn’t mean I don’t have internalized homophobia or inaccurate views of other queer people. So, please call me out! Be direct, I am not fragile.

How to unmask when you have been masking for a long time? I am in the process of learning how to do so. So far I would recommend you start by reading Unmasking Autism by Devon Price. Tell your friends and family that you are neurodivergent. You will probably have to explain what that means. A good definition is ‘Someone whose brain processes information in a way that is not typical of most individuals.’ This is a little vague though. It includes a lot of different people. People who are Autistic are a big part, but not everyone who is neurodivergent is Autistic. People with mental illness are also neurodivergent. Specifically ADHD, and schizophrenia but also those with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, social anxiety and dyslexia. Here is a picture that includes many other kinds of neurodivergence.


If you know of anything I left out or that isn’t covered in the picture please let me know. I want to include all neurodivergent people here!

At first you may find it difficult to tell other people and you don’t have to tell anyone. You may choose to do more research first. ‘Coming out’ as neurodivergent is just as personal as coming out gay. There is no right way or right time to do it. What might make it easier is that many of your friends and family are probably neurodivergent themselves. They may not even know it. In fact somewhere around 80% of people are neurodivergent which makes me wonder why the hell the world is based more on a neurotypical model. This honestly puzzles me. The same way that the world is based on a ‘straight’ model even though 90% of people are gay or bisexual. You may not agree with that exact percentage but I am basing it on things like the Kinsey scale and similar studies that have been done since then. The exact percentage doesn’t matter, just the fact that it’s the majority of people and yet we still struggle for acceptance. There is a high crossover of neurodivergence and the queer community. I’m not going to go into this topic in detail here but here is a blog about it if you want to know more.


Back to unmasking. When I am in public, like on a bus, I crochet. I also vape. I’ve recently come to realize these are both ways of ‘stimming’ that are acceptable in public. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH STIMMING! Many parents of neurodivergent kids stop them from stimming in public. You may have experienced this. You may sensor yourself because you’re embarrassed or you don’t want people to look at you funny. In some cases it might be best for you to continue if stimming openly puts you in danger. Unfortunately unmasking can be a luxury that not everyone can afford. Some people could lose there jobs or face violence. Unfortunately in these situations continuing to mask is necessary.

For myself I have started carrying stim toys. Those fidget spinners would not have been super popular if people didn’t like stimming! I also found a necklace that has bubbles you can pop back and forth. I find it very convenient because you can easily reach up and grab it any time you need to. You may have other behaviors that you suppress, rocking and hand flapping are common. If you feel uncomfortable doing these in public start by allowing yourself to do them when you are around other neurodivergent people. There is a huge online community of neurodivergent people who have all kinds of groups and meetings that you can try. Specially Hailey’s Healthy Hangout.



This is great way to start where you can feel safe to unmask. This is about as far as I have gotten in my journey so I turn it over to you now. How do you unmask? What advice do you have for other people? This is the collaborative part, I am hoping to learn from you, so please give me as much feedback as possible!