Rituals, Executive Function, and Retirement

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When I still worked in an office, I had a fairly elaborate set of rituals I performed especially on Mondays which all office workers know is the worst day. An important ritual had to do with coffee. On other days, I would drink the coffee available in the office (which wasn't that bad actually) however on Monday, I brought my special WaWa mug to the WaWa near the office and used it to buy a mixture of mostly Cuban Roast with something else, then paying in exact change. Not only did it need to be exact change, but it had to include a dollar coin (dollar coins are somewhat rare in the US, at least pre-pandemic). To obtain dollar coins, I had to buy something from a vending machine that was in a building I didn't usually work in but sometimes had occasion to visit (those visits had to be for reasons other than obtaining dollar coins). Sometimes that whole process failed, but the goal of succeeding went far towards keeping me going. One factor causing uncertainty was that the machine didn't always give dollars in change, sometimes it gave quarters.

For over 3 years now, I work from home. Since shortly after turning 70, I never work more than 32 hours per week. I have developed new rituals, but one thing that bothers me is that on days I don't work, I tend to not bother brushing my teeth. So the conclusion is that I have a greater problem with executive function on those days.

Given that I will retire eventually, sooner or later, I am concerned that I will have other problems with executive function. At least I acknowledge them and am dealing with them successfully but I am still uncertain about the effect of full retirement.

I am aware this might belong better in either the work forum or the in-depth adult life forum, so feel free to move it if needed, thanks!

I will be retiring this November 2023 at age 70. I too have trouble with executive function issues.

My approach is to put effort up front on deciding what I want or need to do (sometimes I use spread sheets) and then create a new ritual to trigger it. Having a "vehicle" for my rituals is important. For instance, I know I'll always make coffee after breakfast at home, but I don't always remember to brush my teeth. So I need to modify my morning coffee ritual (vehicle) so it includes a new habit of brushing my teeth first.

For the first few days I'll need to put a note on the coffee pot telling me to brush my teeth first (Executive function). But after that, it should be on autopilot.

I'm trying to use my aspie tendencies to incorporate executive functions into rituals and routines.

Alas, this approach doesn't work at all for "in the moment" "real-time" decision making (I'm terrible at that). My method only works for pre-planned ritualized tasks.

You are doing better than me in that regard. Since I started WFH, I have yet to brush my teeth daily, or even weekly. I have tried to establish a routine (a work program even paid me for the brief time I managed to do) but then I regressed. I know it's important for heart health. I'd like to think that when my the overall demands of my life go down I will brush my teeth more. But I need to start now... I know this, but... I wish I had a accountability buddy and after I brushed my teeth I could push a button by the sink -- ding! done. Maybe I could tie the activity to my daily Wordle.

I rely on routines, visual cues, and having reminders set on my computer.

Visual cues, for instance, includes putting my morning pills in a specific spot on my dresser. When I take the pills I move the pill bottles to a different spot on the dresser. This is useful because I can forget whether or not I've taken the pills in the time it takes me to walk across the room. However, since I retired the things I must do are few enough that they do not fill my day, just the morning...hence making sure doctors give me pills I can take together, once a day in the morning.

Oh, "routines" have gotten a little more flexible over the decades. The order sometimes vary, but I try to make sure the things to be done are done...in some order or other.

establishing new ways of doing things is pretty difficult! I retired 10 years ago and was able to carry over some of my rituals and routines from when I was working. I had to think it through and start some new things, and be aware I was eliminating others. I have it down pretty good now, but the first couple of years were a bit frantic and I felt lost a lot of the time. Give yourself a chance to set up new times to do the things you have to (personal care, eating, paying bills) and use a calendar, a check list, phone reminders, daily alarms, or whatever reminders you need to help you get going.
There are many tools out there that you can try using to see what helps the most. Being aware of your weak areas is the first step, and you've got that going for you right now. Take your time to sort out your worst struggles and instead of trying to manage all at once, do the worst first. Little by little your new ways will take over automatically as they become habit and routine over time.