Alcoholics Support Group

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This thread is for people to discuss issues related to alcoholism and to provide mutual support and encouragement.

This is NOT the place to chitchat about drinking or to be pro-alcohol in any way. If you think that your post may be triggering to other members, consider putting it behind a spoiler. Keep in mind that The Haven guidelines are applicable here.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation!

Also, I was happy about the other thread being made at first because it was a nice idea to be able to vent about this type of addiction in a designated space w/ people who "get it", instead of just throwing potentially triggering s**t in other threads like "Rants" and having people w/o this addiction, or who have bad experiences with alcoholics, judge me. I hope this one gains traction and becomes a supportive place.

My day at work was more stressful than I thought it would be and I want to drink really bad. I'm trying to avoid giving in and getting alcohol.

there are times i wished my body would handle alcohol.

Not doing too well atm. On my 9th can of cider now.

Sorry the other thread went OT. Hopefully it's a bit better now.

I'm glad we're trying again with this. I'm fortunate in that yesterday marked 21 years of sobriety. I sometimes wonder a bit why I got so sick after such a short period of drinking. But, it's only been in the last few years when the urge to drink didn't take all my strength to get through the holidays intact. Which reinforces the notion that social connections are rather important in terms of substance abuse disorders.

I do think that in someways, the duration of sobriety is not as important a factor as how many times you're willing to get back on some sort of program to eliminate the substance. While it is certainly possible to go a period without any use at all and ruin your life that one day you give in, that is not the norm. But, if you do manage to avoid using on most days of the month, you're likely still far ahead of where you would have been otherwise.

I am an alcoholic as well.

I drink because my life is far more substantially harder than most people’s. Not to compare. But I have a long list of diagnoses and am generally limited in my life due to disability and I get a lot of abuse from family. I work hard to count my units every single week to make sure it’s not affecting my health or causing any withdrawal symptoms. I have been successful with that for the past 6 months. Before, I did not know how to really count units at all and that’s when I ran into trouble. Some alcoholics are successful at staying within the limit. Some aren’t. I don’t know if I will be successful or not but I’ll try my hardest.
If I’m not, I don’t know what I am to do.

I would prefer not to use alcohol. My brain would be better off. My life would be more aligned. But even when I am sober, I am still significantly disabled that I need assistance and I get abused often that I feel that I have no way at all to cope. Even with therapy. My problems really are that significant and yet I am forced to function. How do I function? By drinking alcohol occasionally. Otherwise, I would be doing absolutely nothing every day which is not an option and I have to work. or I would commit suicide. Every day is survival for me and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone at all on earth.

I have heard of a program called Alcoholics Anonymous, which I think is highly regarded. You guys were probably already aware of that, you just never know though. Thought I would try to help.
Anyway, I hope all here are able to find there way to better times.

I've heard 12-step programs don't actually work very well, at least not when evaluated objectively.

I've never found alcoholics support services help me. Unless someone makes my anxiety go away and sorts my head out properly (as I'm hoping a therapist will in a few months) then it doesn't help, if anything it makes me want to drink more.

On can #5 of Magners of the day. Neighbours woke me up at 3am arguing so my sleep is all over the place.

Last edited by Rossall on 27 Sep 2023, 10:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

AA seems pretty culty from what I've observed.

"Culty" in what specific ways?

My own impressions, based on several people I've known (including romantic partners of mine) who were in AA:

12-step programs have some superficially "cultlike" aspects, but in general are far from being the kind of authoritarian, totalizing ideology that I associate with the word "cult."

12-step programs definitely do foster ongoing dependence on the group/program. But they don't stop people from making friends outside the group too. Nor do they dictate most aspects of a person's life. Nor do they demand that members contribute large amounts of money.

Also, at least in major metropolitan areas like NYC, there are enough different AA groups that if a person doesn't like the way one local group is run, they can easily find plenty of other conveniently nearby groups. Furthermore, newcomers are specifically encouraged to attend multiple local groups rather than just one. This in itself probably goes a long way toward keeping potential abuses in check.

So it seems to me that the group-dependency fostered by 12-step programs is a far less harmful dependency than what it is deliberately intended to replace (dependence on alcohol, or on whatever the focus of the particular 12-step program is).

Have you personally known any members of 12-step programs? If so, does it seem to you that they were harmed in any specific ways by their groups?

(I'm not a member of any 12-step program myself.)

I didn't say they were a cult. I said that they were culty (i.e. they have some cult-characteristics).

According to Steven Hassan (a cult expert):

https://freedomofmind.com/resource-link ... -programs/

I knew someone that went to AA, and I attended a couple meetings with him. There is some thought control going on, chanting, rituals, and toxic beliefs and attitudes which I find concerning as a former member of a cult. If I was seeking recovery, I would not use a 12 step program. They aren't especially successful according to statistics. Of course, if someone currently in a program finds it helpful, they shouldn't stop.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 01 Oct 2023, 9:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

They fit some characteristics of the BITE model - behavior, information, thought, and emotional control. These are some that I've noticed, observed, or read about concerning AA although there may be more.

https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model/

- Major time spent with group indoctrination and rituals and/or self indoctrination including the Internet
- Discourage individualism, encourage group-think
- Impose rigid rules and regulations
- Rewards and punishments used to modify behaviors, both positive and negative
- Instill dependency and obedience
- Extensive use of cult-generated information and propaganda, including:
a. Newsletters, magazines, journals, audiotapes, videotapes, YouTube, movies and other media

- Require members to internalize the group’s doctrine as truth
a. Adopting the group’s ‘map of reality’ as reality
b. Instill black and white thinking
c. Decide between good vs. evil
d. Organize people into us vs. them (insiders vs. outsiders)

- Use of loaded language and clichés which constrict knowledge, stop critical thoughts and reduce complexities into platitudinous buzz words
- Teaching thought-stopping techniques which shut down reality testing by stopping negative thoughts and allowing only positive thoughts, including:
a. Denial, rationalization, justification, wishful thinking
b. Chanting
c. Meditating
d. Praying
e. Speaking in tongues
f. Singing or humming

- Make the person feel that problems are always their own fault, never the leader’s or the group’s fault
- Promote feelings of guilt or unworthiness, such as:
a. Identity guilt
b. You are not living up to your potential
c. Your family is deficient
d. Your past is suspect
e. Your affiliations are unwise
f. Your thoughts, feelings, actions are irrelevant or selfish
g. Social guilt
f. Historical guilt

- Ritualistic and sometimes public confession of sins

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 01 Oct 2023, 9:27 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I'd prefer not to get any more off-track or turn this into a debate, though. This is a place for people to share their thoughts and experiences. If people find AA helpful or any other program, they should stick with it. If they haven't tried it, they might want to do research, weighing the pros and cons - including critical information, and figure out what course of treatment would work best for them.