Beans, beans, the musical fruit.

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The more you eat, the more you toot.

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart.
The more you eat, the more you fart.

Beans, beans, they give you sass.
The more you eat, the more you pass gas.

Use Beano and there will be no gas.

beans beans good for your heart
the more you eat the more you fart
the more you fart the more you eat
the more you sit on the toilet seat

my husband says that rhyme not me

I heard it as "the more ya eat the more ya fart, the more ya fart the better you feel, so eat your beans for every meal!".

The more you toot, the better you’ll feel,
So let’s have beans at every meal!

song on a 45 rpm record by The Funnyboners [i gave a dub of it to NaturalPlastic]

now butter beans and navy beans are fine, you will agree-
or black-eyed peas and pinto beans, they all taste good to me-
i've never had enough of them, and i guess i never will-
i eat so many beans they make me bathe in chlorophyll.
beans, beans, i love my beans, better than chicken or turnip greens.
i went to see my girl last night, that girl is really smart-
she knows that through my stomach, is a shortcut to my heart-
she cooked a pot of beans for me and i had quite a snack-
as soon as i got up i blew the shirt right off my back!
beans, beans, i love my beans- better than chicken or turnip greens!
one evening i was playing pool with some of my old gang,
down at the corner billiard parlor where the boys all hang-
i looked around and sneaked one out, just as an airplane passed-
"MY GOD!," they yelled, "A WAR IS STARTED! WE'RE ALL BEING GASSED!"
oh beans, beans, i love my beans, better than chicken or turnip greens!
i had some beans for dinner, then i went to see a show-
no sooner than i sat down, that the winds began to blow-
the people all around me soon began to hold their breath-
strong men began to weep, and 18 women choked to death.
oh beans, beans, i love my beans, better than chicken or turnip greens!
i went out to a party, it was in a crowded room,
and pretty soon the air was filled with black-eyed pea perfume-
a guy pulled out a gasmask as he headed for the door,
he said, "i came prepared, because i heard of you before!"
beans, bean, i love my beans, better than chicken or turnip greens!
one day i took a boatride, and my beans would not behave,
i blew the boat from under me and caused a tidal wave,
and once i went into the biggest building in the town,
next day a wrecking crew was there, to tear the building down!
beans, beans, i love my beans, better than chicken or turnip greens!
once i went to a concert, it was in a very swanky hall-
before the show was through, i nearly caused a free-for-all!
i accidentally let one out, and hit the key of G,
a baritone upon the stage, was thrown plumb out of key!
oh beans, beans, i love my beans, better than chicken or turnip greens!

Will hafta look that up on those CDs you sent me.

Some beans served up...with a 90s urban flavor (or "flav" I should say):


https://youtu.be/mf2Omaqq8eg

"i can't stop farting" by The Queers
Lyrics below-

Last night I had burritos and drank alot of beer
And now a funny smell is eminating from my rear
My girlfriend tries to hold her nose and falls into a swoon
I got a problem and I don't know what to do
HELP!
I can't stop farting (4x)
My flatulant ass sounds like 27 ducks
I sit and try to take a $h!+ outta luck
My sphincter rears it's ugly head as I clear out the room
I got a problem and I don't know what to do
HELP!
I can't stop farting

I ate black-beans last night. Very luckily this has never been me cuz this is not pretty

my doctor actually advised me to eat baked beans to help my diverticular

In reality, the more beans you eat, the less you pass gas, because your body gets used to the beans.

Where ere you be let your wind blow free
For ‘twas the wind that kill-ed me

My friend swore he once saw it on a gravestone.

^^^now THAT's an epitaph!

I read this "musical fruit" rhyme in "The Dark Tower: the Gunslinger" for the first time - at the beginning of the book, Roland Deschain meets a man named Brown who is the owner of a talking bird that keeps repeating this phrase. In Poland it was translated as "fasola, fasola to czysta muzyka, im więcej jej jesz, tym więcej prykasz" - "beans, beans is pure music, the more you eat them, the more you toot"

I saw once on the net a photo of the gravestone of a Polish lady from the 19th century, whose name was according to it: "Cecylia de domo c**t, primo voto Dick" This unfortunate lady literally fell out of the frying pan and jumped into the fire when it comes to her last name.

My own gran in turn, once as a young woman refused marrying some man - just because he had a funny last name - Kiełbasa (Sausage)

i remember as an child in elementary school one winter's day, my beans did not agree with me, and after i got on the school bus the winds began to blow backwards, and within a minute kids were rollin' down the windows of the bus, and it got cold in there and the driver yelled "roll UP those GD windows!" so the windows went back up and the stench renewed itself, a few kids barfed including the one sitting next to me, and the heater up front blew all that stench around and soon the bus driver made a funny expression and yelled at us, "roll DOWN those GD windows!"