MrsPeel wrote:
The part where you are talking about masking really resonated with me because I feel the same. Like masking is killing me but at the same time I am forced to do it to get by in the world. It's such a no-win situation, it makes me feel stuck between a rock and a hard place, you know?
Anyhow, yes, recently I had an episode which was not burnout but I'm concerned I might be heading that way, because I had to take 3 weeks off work until my nervous system could reset. I get these episodes which are something related to autism meltdowns or possibly PTSD I'm not really sure. My nervous system gets stuck in flight/fight or hyperarousal for days at a time, it is very tiring. At the same time I get really bad anxiety and its like I become more autistic - I lose all my normal cognitive workarounds. So I ruminate and get hyperfixations and impulse control problems and lack my normal level of judgement, plus I get upset at every little thing. I can't work during an episode becasue I'm too emotionally dysregulated.
I'm going to try trauma therapy to see if that helps, otherwise I'm not sure what I can do. It's like the daily stresses of living with autism has just got too much for my nervous system and it's breaking down.
This sounds so familiar. Have you tried meds?
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