Sometimes feel ashamed that I don't own my own house

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I do hear a lot about house prices being really high particularly here in the UK and people like me not getting our own home but sometimes though I feel as well what is the point if I already have a roof over my head even though its not mine it belongs to my parents and still feel discouraged from getting a place of my own like a flat. I seem to think the house I'm living in now is much better than living in a small flat. The thing is I could afford maybe a small house but all my money would be gone as a result and then will not have enough to afford it. Sometimes I feel bad because I still see people of my age or younger having places of their own and for some strange reason I feel ashamed because I'm not like them and yet I still won't want to move out. I don't know if it's daunting for someone like me and that because it involves a lot of changes and as an autistic, change is sometimes difficult. I even seem to feel as though I've got no chance of really even maintaining a relationship because I still live with parents and will be turned off by it.

The housing market is difficult at the moment and has been for a while, in terms of expense in the UK, so a lot more people are living at home and that makes it more acceptable to live at home, even into a persons thirties.

If you haven't moved out by the age of 40, then you probably have some money management issues. In your case you say you can afford a small house, however?

Instead of buying, perhaps you should put yourself on the waiting list for social housing (cheaper rent than private renting), and keep your money in the bank?

Even if your current house is more comfortable than a small flat, you would at least have your independence in a small flat and you wouldn't have to worry about your parents passing away or where you will live after that?

Also, as you point out, potential romantic interests can and will discriminate against you for not having your own place, in most cases. So if you want to find a partner, perhaps the first step is to be brave and move out?

Good luck in any case.

be aware that housing is expensive, with upkeep and taxes. also beware that houses are preferred targets of burglars who can do sneaky things such as leaving money at your mailbox or at your door to see if you're home, if they come back two hours later and the money is still there, they break in.

I don't even own my house (my mom does), but I pay $1,100 in property taxes every year

Similar boat.

I could put all my money into buying a condo in the suburbs.. but for what? Do it in 4 years and have a 30 year mortgage I pay off by age 75 just to say I own my box? (That I would still have to pay strata fees for.) Dumb. There are other things to spend/invest money on.

I have a room in the house my parents paid for before prices went nuts. Now none of us could afford to buy this house because it's over $1.8M.

The people younger than my buying homes are long term partners with 2 solid incomes + HELOC loans/early inheritances from their parents/grandparents or actual inheritance money. Many of those people buying homes are very poor as a result.. especially if they're repaying down payment loans that they declared as gifts in order to fraudulently qualify for their mortgage. etc. They may have bought a condo, but they're stuck eating mr. noodles in order to pay the bills.

As for people living in their parents' homes, it's now so extremely common it's no longer a major constraint to dating Unless the type of person you are dating has a Requirement of an extremely high income + home ownership. There are gold digger types like that. But most normal working class people are easily looking passed the fact that someone lives in the family home these days as it's become the norm/why would you live anywhere else But the family home if it's stable and affordable ? People just understand and accept that that's the way things are these days.

I would say there is still a stigma for people living at home, at least in my country, the UK.

Although it is less of a stigma than it used to be.

I'm sure it's still a thing across many parts of Canada where housing costs have risen but are still more realistically manageable and possible than here in the Vancouver area. But in the hot spot city real estate markets across the country, especially here in BC, it's a pretty normal thing. Young families with kids move into their parents/grandparents homes if they can - for stability and affordability. Rents/prices are INSANE so people that make the move back to the parental estate are considered fortunate and making a smart move if they have that option vs. having to flee the Province for cheaper housing in Albertabama.

Also, we have a significant Asian population that lives in multi-generational households that have helped normalize three generations living together in one large home. Granted, many of their homes are very large.. like basic common ones are 5-6k sf, and BIG ones (typically farm houses) range from 10-20k sf. It used to be that the most impressive homes were in select neighbourhoods of West Vancouver and some other cities were rich people have settled over the last couple hundred years, but now you could do a jaw dropping tour of suburban farmhouses that truly impress. It's especially nice riding around on the motorcycle seeing these places w/o the restrictive frames cars have. Some I don't particularly care for style/colour wise, but others.. Wow! Straight up modern Scarface gangster mansions all lit up at night.. coloured stamped concrete drives, massive windows, some with columns, others very "West Coast," - and some even complete with helicopter pads.

But even in normal sized single family detached homes it's ever more common for young and old to live together to the point that no one really bats an eye to it anymore. Rents and purchase prices have become unaffordable to pretty much everyone that works a job for a living. Average rent for a one bedroom apartment in the city is now OVER $3k/month in a city with an average salary of $62k gross. Just yesterday I saw an ad for a bedroom in a suburban home for $1400 including utilities. $FOURTEEN HUNDRED to rent just a bedroom about an hour or so drive from downtown. That's why no one cares if you say you live at your parents' place anymore and it's all but Expected that if you're under 30 that you're staying put at your parents place unless you have deep pockets, inheritance, or REALLY want to move out with several roommates in order to be in a certain neighbourhood or proximity to work/school etc but housing is so difficult to find that it's just the new normal to stay put wherever you are as long as you can because moving means your rent likely goes up by multiples, not just a couple hundred dollars.

Owning a home is indeed becoming more and more difficult, for a variety of reasons.

Home ownership has long been culturally touted as a sign of maturity, responsibility and stability.
It's no wonder that some feel shame for not living up to a standard like this.
But if you’re in a living situation that is comfortable for you, that’s what matters most, I should think? Feeling like you’ve not succeeded in life because you don’t own a home is a difficult feeling to shake, I know.

At age 54, I am deeply craving the idea of owning a home for the first time in my life, but “pride of ownership” or cultural status has little or nothing to do with it, for me. I instead now realize just how much I desire at least the prospect of long-term stability in my life, something that has been so lacking for so long. Having even a small mortgage does seem like a huge barrier for me, though, as I know that I’m just not able to predict what is going to set me into a deep burnout phase that makes paying that monthly bill very difficult or impossible. Therefore, I’m seeking to “settle” for the most meager (cheapest!) living situation that I can arrange, with the certainty that for me, at least, a paid-for Hovel is far more valuable than a mortgaged Penthouse.

For those who really want to own a home, and don’t need to live in a specific area, consider doing some research, if you are able, about cheap places to live in your country. You may be amazed at just how cheaply you can live, if you are flexible enough to adapt to a new area that may, at first, not seem like a place you’d be drawn to.

Asking for financial help from family and friends is, I know, a difficult step to take. Especially if like me, you’ve always imagined that you just need to find your niche, and then you’ll be OK, financially. Becoming a “charity case” is something that is a terrible emotional burden for some of us.

Finding an amazingly good deal on a livable home is often as much a matter of luck as skill, so anecdotal stories about that awesome house that someone picked up for peanuts (or even free!) can be more discouraging than useful, emotionally appealing as such stories can be. But there are relatively simple ways to improve your odds of finding an affordable home. Naturally, “affordable” is a terribly slippery word, and it gets used too easily by those of us who have never had to face the choice of “food or heat” as an all-too-frequent dilemma. And some of us can’t even manage to think about money at all during periods when we’re really at odds with our own minds.

So, our expectations must be reality-based, or disappointment and further decline into self-destructive rumination will be inevitable.

If I ever somehow managed to come into a significant amount of money, I would love to transform my little high desert town into a haven for people on the spectrum, providing at least the financial means to get people into comfortable, safe little homes, with as much (or as little) help as needed by individuals. I wonder just how such a community would go, and if there are enough autistic people who are capable of providing useful assistance in building, repairing and maintaining housing for others on the spectrum who are less capable of such things. Could enough autistics be gathered in one place like this to provide a critical mass of mutual aid, and would the more-capable among us even want to live in a remote, quiet community like this?

Darron

I own my own home in a rather safe neighborhood.

Not too far from me, someone shoplifting a Walmart resisted arrest.
They sent more police to subdue him!

It is nice having a home all to myself. I am good at fixing stuff so maintaining it doesn't cost much.
I have a big backyard that is fenced in and surrounded with tall shrubs to isolate me from my neighbors.
In most Asian countries only the very wealthy could have gardens like I have.

I rent at the moment but would like my own home.

I have a 6 year plan to try and get there..its tricky but doable. My phase 1 is almost complete. (Credit score is optimum, bank and savings accounts maximised ensuring the highest interest rates, getting on the job ladder done so now i have a current reference and recent exeperience) once i have secured my next job role i will move onto phase 2.

Phase 2 is in effect once i acquire the next job role, i am waiting to hear back from a couple companies, i have been applying to roles that include training and qualifications. A role like this is imperative. I need a career to keep maximising my earning potential.
A mortgage is generally 4.5 or 5 x your annual wage.

Then once that is complete next phase is boosting deposit, increasing savings ect then each year investing and accumilating interest on savings.

I also need to keep an eye on the market, choose my moment between the rise and fall of market and the current interest rates. As they are so high at the moment it is great news for savings.

I would want to do it as a sole application no matter what. I find it far to hazardous to do it joint with partner. The future is too unpredictable as are people. As I have a child to support stability is of utmost importance. I know i can rely on myself in regards to wages, money, budgeting. I cant vouch for another and their reaction to unforseeable circumstances.

Look at the bright side. At least you won't be affected by interest rate hikes.

My interest rates are going to triple next month to "make people spend less so as to reduce inflation". Holy cow! You need to have an economics degree to be that stupid.

This morning I heard on the radio that "not only have young people been reducing their spending, they have also been eating into their savings" and the girl on the radio said it "she was quoting some banker" as though it was a good thing. Because that's the goal.

Putting people into poverty isn't a side effect of the plan, it's the goal.

They make this excuse that it's justified to reverse inflation but if they want to take people's money why do it have to go to bankers? Why not triple the mandatory contributions to superannuation instead? Which would also reduce spending but without a f*****g banker stealing it.

I know that the real reason the reverse bank has done this is because they're worried that inflation will reduce the value of the mortgages they hold. So they're trying to both reverse this trend and also get recompense for the amount they've already lost to inflation.

Because god forbid that bankers should lose any money? It's ok to impoverish the rest of the country though. f**k the reserve bank. Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to give a non-government entity that much power?

I'm not so sure about that. On most of my first dates they didn't usually wish to judge me for my living situation. Heck, most of the girls I dated in my 20s who weren't international students lived with their parents.

The problem in my experience is when you get to the second or third date. When things get intimate. That's when it really helps to have your own house. If you want your make out session in the living room while watching a movie that neither of you are really watching to lead to the bedroom for other things, you don't want your mum walking in offering you sponge cake. It really kills the mood!