Narcisist Moms

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well, I'm a 18 years old woman in autism level 1 and just to clarify some things: 1- I wwas never diagnosed with autism because my mom never wanted me to continue with the investugation of Autism Espectrum and said that I don't need this. 2- I was never an spoiled kid okay? I was born in an low class neighborhood. 3 - I do everything on the house, I still don't work because I'm studying for it and the conpetition is pretty high.

This is to all people out there that are looked down by society because they complain about their mother's behavior and judgment upon them.
My mom's a narcisist, the classic one, like: "Yeah, I'm such a good mom, my daughter is such a brat, she doesn't do anything and I give food, a home, a good life for her hahaha. ", always point me as the devil's kid just because I don't agree with the things she do and talk like???? A kid in the body of an adult yeah very much it.
I'm so tired, she COMPLAINS EVERY F***** TIME AND I'M THE BORING ONE, I'M THE ONE THAT NOBODY WANTS TO BE AROUND, SHE SAID IT, SHE SAID:"that boy isn't your friend, he's just laughing at you."
I've passed through bullying for 3 years and persecution, I'm paranoiac now, I've passed through an dysfunctional family, my mom had me in the adolescence, so I was not expected.
Some strange things between me and my uncle and that guy in the market that always wanted to touch and kiss me.
Yeah and in the end of the day, I'm the f***** spoiled kid, seriously I've tried to k**** myself 3 times but I just didn't it because of my grandma, she's the one that took care of me in my childhood, not my mom as she always like to lie to everyone and in my front.
At this moment, I'm willing to study and work for a freedom of my mind that I want so much to experience it, the freedom of going out with the clothes you like, talk to the people you like, stay close to your loved ones, I want it so much and for so long....
Please comment if you felt some similarity to my story and hope that you'll find that freedom too.

One advantage of a difficult childhood is that it ends. At 18 you are at the point where you can build a much better life.

Those who get exposed to some of life's difficulties like abuse victims, combat veterans, cops, convicts, emergency room nurses, or priests can find it difficult to smoothly adopt a life that smoothly flows with the social currents around them.

My parents were alcoholic. Having Aspergers was actually an advantage in that I think it allowed me to observe my own childhood somewhat analytically. This allowed me to see myself as disconnected from the chaos around me. While not able to live a life on "automatic pilot" like most NTs, living a life on "manual control" is not all that bad. It allowed me to avoid marital entanglements that would have been disastrous and while I didn't get married until I was 43, the last 30 years have been a blessing and testimony to making wise choices.

While many people (especially here in the US) hate Christianity, I have found it essential. However, I spent years digging through the many ways it is distorted and poorly presented (especially the various denominations). In case you might find it useful, I found a web site that tries to present it without most of the distortions commonly found.

http://christianpioneer.com/

I wish you well as you begin your journey to build a life less burdened with toxic people.

[quote="timf"]One advantage of a difficult childhood is that it ends. At 18 you are at the point where you can build a much better life.

Thank you for your support, I'm so done with life that when comes to me that someone on my family is pregnant I just got sad beacuse(I know how their childhood gonna be, this happens almost all times) I remember all my past in one instance and that throws all my day in the trash, that
bitterness in my mouth, that cold in my stomach, every time, it happens.
It's hard to be glad with things in life, because people focus so much in material subjects that forgot that it's the opposite that matters, the love, the empathy, the pity to people disabled in need of an hand to lift in their foots.
And I will try, I'm trying to better my life.

My grandmother, my mom, myself and my daughter are all Autistic. The parenting has improved with the generations but is still rough. I say my mom was "selflessly selfish" (narcissistic) b/c she had internalized NT norms and didn't know how to meet ND needs (hers much less mine). It took me another 20 years to break away from that and now my life is truly my own -and SOOOOO much better. Hang in there!!

Examples:

• My grandmother had zero awareness and support and abandoned my mom, whom had no friends as she moved foster homes. (my grandfather wasn't expected to parent)

• My mom had some awareness but little support and would criticize me and say scornfully "you have no friends" rather than nurturing what I did have. (my dad a small amount of parenting)

• I have awareness and support and provide scaffolding for my daughter such as finding neurodiverse family friends and appreciating the friendships she chooses and maintains, in her way. (my husband is parenting, increasing his EQ)

Now it's serious, I'm almost sure my mom is going to take me out of the house, she's pratically searching for any dumb reasons, even the stupidest to argue with me, but I'm used to it, don't care at this point, so now, she's going to use her final movement, expulse me, this ain't so rare and is even common where I live, because The title "MOM" is put on an pedestal to be extremelly apreciated, but this isn't for everyone. This may be my final upload on this forum, I don't know where else to go, and at my age and in this hard political scenario, I may die on the streets, everybody is making their own way to survive with each one with their problem, but thank everyone whom reading this, I'm glad that I found this forum with the ones I relate for.
I wish I could born into other country, it could be in Europe, my chances to grow in some good family would increase....

Edit: Oh, sorry for this, but Isn't the only motive that I think she'll do that, I pratically takec are of the house, cook, but obviously nothing is good enough, if she thinks I can't take it, she won't let me do it.

Wishing you cleverness and luck to find benevolent resources. Muito triste pela horribilidade. (online translate)

Hey, I'm in an exactly same situation now
My mom is an extreme narcissist (grandma was even worse of one), I always get silent treatment, and after some days she will break down and shout that I don't care because I don't try to apologize, when she's acting so immaturely. I'm in college, I'm doing an unpaid internship, and I have barely any time on myself, but I do a lot of work around the house, yet she would always find something to be mad about. I'm a "golden child", but whatever I do, it's never enough. I know what you feel, my diagnosis was never covered by my parents either, so I worked minimum wage to get one, but she doesn't take even a clinical diagnosis seriously. So, with that said, you may unconsciously have a wish to finally be understood by any means, be it diagnosis or to be simply validated for all the hard work you did and do. But, unfortunately, nothing will change. All you can do is move out, and the best advice I could give you is to become independent as fast as possible, so that she wouldn't manipulate you financially (my mother LOVES threatening to cut off my college funds if I don't do what she wants). But, before that, pay attention to what you tell her. Sometimes narcissistic moms become attentive and caring for a certain period, and people would fall into showing their vulnerable side to them. DONT DO IT. Don't tell her secrets, she would most likely use them against you in an argument and make you feel like s**t. As soon as you move out, it would become better, I promise. I wish you all the best <з

[quote="kirakirakira"]Hey, I'm in an exactly same situation now

Hi, thank you so much, now I know I'm not alone, I just know this website for autistic people, I fell so alone in most of the times, because there's no other place for me to talk, unless 7 cups but the listeners just don't care anymore, they just drop out of the chat, it's so awful to fell like it everytime, if you're still there, I'll try to better my life and not give up, I'm so glad I read you answer, thank you!! !