Noca wrote:
I have been working on eye contact lately, and while I can make eye contact with those I'm talking to like 50% of the time, I fail completely when it comes to people I pass on the street while out for a walk. Has anyone been able to overcome this issue without resorting to sunglasses or staring at their phone? I don't know where to look, it just feels so incredibly awkward and anxiety provoking every time to look at someone as I pass them.
Where did you get the idea that you MUST make eye contact with strangers passing on a street? I've observed pedestrians and it seems that many DON'T make eye contact as they pass each other. They can't all be autistic.
Even though I think eye contact is extremely important in certain circumstances, such as establishing an air of confidence and "I truly believe in what I'm saying," or, "I'm not leaving here till I see the manager," etc., I actually avoid eye contact when passing strangers on the street or inside buildings UNLESS -- UNLESS -- 1) An unsavory-looking man is approaching me, or 2) It's dark and isolated and a man is coming my way.
Eye contact in these two circumstances tells the man, "If you're a predator, you'll make a huge mistake thinking I'm prey."
One time I was walking towards a parking lot downtown Denver where my car was parked and three really shady looking men were coming my way. One-Two-Three, I gave eye contact to each one to let them know that they'd better not mess with me. Outside of needing to establish a strong presence about myself, I simply avoid eye contact with strangers UNLESS I need to ask one for directions or a guy comes up to me and asks the time (rapists have been known to do this to "screen" for victims, and of course, I'll always give eye contact to establish myself).
The problem I've always had is how to do eye contact when the person who's approaching you from down a corridor is someone you know. ?????????????