Do homosexuality and Autism/ADHD have common denominator?

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There are theories as to why we're less likely to identify as cis and straight, but so far as I'm aware we just know that we are disproportionately queer - not why we're disproportionately queer.

hmm? I've never thought about it much, but I have read that homosexuality is more prevalent with people on the spectrum, but I have nothing to back it up with.

If I didn't have Aspergers and was a NT, I would imagine that I would still be gay.

I’ve often wondered if there’s a link between neurodiversity and sexual orientation, especially since I’m both neurodivergent (Asperger’s) and gay. For me, it feels like the way my brain works—thinking deeply and questioning societal norms—has played a big role in understanding my identity. I never felt the need to fit into traditional categories, and being neurodivergent almost gave me permission to explore who I am without worrying about what’s “normal.”

But it hasn’t been easy. Growing up, I faced homophobia and bullying that I didn’t fully understand at the time. I wasn’t always aware of people’s gossips or subtle ways of mocking me because I tend to miss social cues, so I figured it out much later. That realization hurt, especially because I didn’t have the tools to defend myself in the moment or even process what was happening. It made me feel even more isolated, like I was living in a different world from everyone else.

I’ve also noticed that sensory sensitivity and emotional processing have shaped my relationships. Physical and emotional closeness feels different for me, and I overthink things that seem simple to others. Social struggles, like missing cues or feeling overwhelmed in conversations, make it harder to connect with people, especially in casual or basic ways.

I grew up in the 1990s in Michigan (USA) and in my small town, there was a lot of homophobia. As crazy as it sounds, I had no clue I was gay but deep down I knew I wasn't into girls. Also, I had no clue I was on the spectrum. Needless to say I was "Weirdo" and had no idea why. Finding out people hated me because I exist is still a bitter pill.

My 20s were a bit of a mess, I was in a relationship with a girl and that ended badly. Oddly, the lady I was going with at that time, pointed out I was very likely autistic. Which made things come into focus, why I was such a mess socially and all the stuff that goes with autism.

Also, I realized that me trying to be "normal" wasn't working as well as discovering that deep down, I had no interest in women, in fact realizing that I was attracted men. Getting close physically and emotionally has always been different for me. It's still a struggle but I do know, the first guy I dated, when I spent the night with him and we got close the first time, Oh man did I feel that! it was amazing.

Its an interesting topic.

There does appear to be a higher percentage of people identifying as LGBTQ+ within the Autistic community.

I sometimes wonder whether a persistent drive for authenticity with less focus on meeting social expectations within our neurotype is a key factor?

Within my family and friendship circle, all of whom are Au, there is a high level of queer identification.

I sit on the management board of the largest LGBTQ+ charity in my area of the UK and we have noted that there are a significant number of neurodivergent members and associated parties.

Over the period of my Life have noticed a disporportionate number of my Aspie/Asperger's friends seem to tend towards gender/sexually diverse as well as NeuroDiverse. Life is full of Diversity ..And its a blessing where, we can still safely afford to express those things . Beauty is in those differences of Expression. Am hoping nothing happens to that within these next few years? And the Political Climate Where We live in,,( in the USA ) ....

Last I heard places like Texas have not passed laws prohibiting US citizens from moving to more tolerant blue states.

I've been coming across a lot of content on the internet about there being connections between autism spectrum disorder and gender identity, rather than sexual orientation. Since I first had access to the internet I've found an interest in those who don't particularly identify with their biological gender, and found a desire that I wish I could be like them. I'm biologically male but sometimes I will see other guys as being something that I'm not.

Anything outside cultural and social contexts?

Outside of what is to do with gender and gender roles and it's expressions, at odds of what is the norm and taboo (in which NDs would likelier express their differences more openly than NTs) -- than fundamental connection of their own biological sex and it's relative reactions in sexual attraction?


I don't know.
One had to go deeper.

Like the very, very basic and fundamental; of why some people are actually attracted to the other gender or sex (other than reproduction), with same sex or gender (there are hypothesis of why this happens), any attracted towards both or any, and just others don't or is attracted towards none?

Even so, why NDs have it more likely the latter others?

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