I am very depressed right now

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I have been overwhelmed for months and today was a huge struggle.

I don't know if my wife and I are going to remain together, and a part of me wants it to be done.

And a part of me wants this to work but I know it .. just won't. We weren't healthy when we met. We are different people. We actually want different things.

I don't think I could even be friends with her this time, if we part ways. Every other "separation" was "but stay friends".

Maybe it was good for a time and that time is over, and best to both of us. I have a perilous path to take, but isn't that why I've been healing?

yeah, the musings of a depressed person.

Sweet Pea hugs

I want to say I want the best for you.

Whatever happens please to not worry. Worry does not help. Ok?

There are many on this site who may not know what to say, and all we can do is send a supportive hug. We may not understand. We may not ssy the thing you want to hear or the right thing. But we do want the best for you even if we don't know how to help.

For now, get yourself something comforting to eat and drink, and see if you can relax, and leave your worries for another time. I hope that helps?

If I knew the right things to say, I would say them here. Best I have is to say that I get it to the best of my ability. I divorced a few years ago now. Despite knowing that the end was coming, and it was for the best, it was still brutal. Not saying your relationship will end in a breakup...just saying that having thoughts like those are hard. I get that. Living with those thoughts...living that kind of inbetween space... that sucks. And it sucks even worse when the work you put into making yourself a better person ultimately plays a part in that kind of questioning.

Here's hoping tomorrow will be a better day for you. Wishing you well.

Thank you for replies. I got a little bit of sleep. Still feeling very down. Feeling very alone.

That's the trouble with marriage it's like a commitment

I am sorry to hear you are going through this phase in life. Autistic folk can have difficulty with change and change can be anxiety inducing for us.

I wish you the best.

Better than my response

Hang in there buddy

I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through.

Thanks again for all who responded. I know there is nothing anyone can do. I just wanted words of support but I couldn't even hear them yet when I posted.

I'm almost feeling like I can be outside of myself for a while. Had a few "numb days" and that was helpful.

No updates on the actual issue, that is tangential. It was just that I was about to blow a fuse.

Thanks again to all who responded.

I hope you're hanging in there and managing. Best wishes to you. You are not alone in this.