No personality?

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I feel like I can't develop a personality and it's usually labelled as autism

What is personality anyway? (Rhetorical)

Is it some shallow description of our visible characteristics.

Or is it an attempt to define ourselves by understandable metrics

I'm introverted, shy, clumsy, aloof.

All things that could be characterised by autism, but just because it's part of the condition doesn't make them any less of a description of myself.

I was reading this medical textbook in my class and happened upon the definition of "Aspergers syndrome" in it. For some reason, it mentioned autistic people having "a preoccupation with small objects" which I had not heard as a symptom before and thought it was weird they mentioned that of all things in the short definition (it also mentioned lack of eye contact and social awkwardness), but it also freaked me out and sent me spiraling into a whole 'everything's a symptom" mental crisis.
But at the same time, no one I know (and most of my friends are on the spectrum) would describe me as being "personality-less" because I have my own interests and own life that separates me from them. I like serial killers. You like looney tunes.
We're both autistic but we're very different people. And who's to say neurotypical people don't make it their whole personality too? They're interchangeable half the time, with their small talk and football...
But I digress; you get the point.

14 Years ago, I wasn't aware how much of a personality I radiated until an old lady pointed out to her friend how much of a personality I had and her friend agreed. She said, "That person's got quite the personality." Her friend said, "Yes....Kinks Fan."

What are the traits that you have autism cannot explain?
Traits that are more likely relate to your genetic predispositions and visibly influenced by your social environment.


What are the traits you retain that cannot relate to autism alone?
Traits that can be influenced by autism, but at a core is not an autism symptom or a trait (i.e. coping mechanisms, preferences)


Maybe my perspective is different because no one called me autistic when I was too young, and whatever traits or signs I displayed is never called or labeled as autism.
Or maybe I'm not a self mystery until adulthood, that made the autism label explain everything. Though I still am a mystery case, it's just that autism and the rest of my circumstances cannot explain whatever I have.


I think I already knew who I'm when I was young. And it's not necessarily good or desirable.

I want to change or not having to do with anything with it, but it's not the autism.

And I have more issues towards that particular aspect of me instead of anything related to autism. Autism itself either made it easier or worse. The problem will be still there whether or not I'm autistic.

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