"helping people"

Post Reply New Topic

A couple of years ago, a man, a woman, and I pushed a stranger's car a couple feet for a couple seconds. The driver gave me five bucks. The driver offered the man cash and the man said "I don't need it." The driver offered the woman cash and the woman said "It's good to help people. Thank you for letting us help you." The woman acted like she deserved the Nobel Prize for dragging his worthless corpse out of a burning building. Each of the three of us provided services worth about two cents. The driver gave me five bucks. The driver "helped" me $4.98. The woman claimed a Nobel Prize. A Nobel Prize is worth a lot more than five bucks. Her response was like "moral burglary". I *hate* it when precious lil "people" do that.

"Helping" is, by definition, better than "hurting", but you have to be specific: "helping" whom do *what*? When I work as a Lot Attendant at Home Depot, some customers say "can you help me load a toilet?", when they mean for the customer and I to load the toilet at the same time. some customers say the same thing and they mean for me to load the toilet alone. Mussolini was "helping" the Gestapo. Not all causes are good causes to be "helping" at.

Even the word "help" sounds manipulative to me. Sometimes a tiny amount of "help" is barely worthy of the word "help". Some precious lil "people" act like they are so morally innocent and "the meaning of 'life' is 'helping people' !".

It gets on my nerves, how precious lil "people" have the nerve to keep offering me "help", when I do not "need" help. For example, today, @ the grocery store, a security guard had the nerve to ask me "need some help?", when I was just picking up Artisan bread to purchase. The security guard did not say that I did anything bad or wrong, and I think that he should not have been bothering me in the first place.

then when I need "help", precious lil "people" have the nerve to tell me that they "can't" "help" me. ("Can't" or "won't?").

Furthermore, when precious lil "people" *do* "help" me, they take *way* too much credit, even if it is just *moral* credit (not cash). For example, I asked Pro Cashier EH where the cart key was. He gave it to me and had the nerve to smack me on the back. Due to an anxiety disorder, touch receptors, and et cetera, that surprising physical contact scared the s**t out of me. By giving me the cart key, he "helped" me one tablespoon. By smacking me on the back, he "hurt" (not physically injured, but opposite of "help"), one gallon.

Some self righteous, self important, annoying lil dipshits are *not* worth the energy it takes to deal with them, s**t!

I think you may be overthinking this? I agree that some people think they are some kind of saint for providing some small bit of help, like the woman who helped push the car. That's annoying. But honestly I don't really care. I try not to let things like that bug me or I would be annoyed all the time. People are how they are. Everyone has some flaws and foibles. I'm generally fine with that, though, yes, I can sometimes get annoyed too.

Bee

Yes I am overthinking it

The car pushing incident happened about six years ago

There is no good reason why I have to think about it anymore but the concept seems kind of emotionally disturbing

"Helping people" is like "cost of goods sold".

And yes I do have plenty of character flaws and there is nothing great about me either

Idealism... Some years ago it was a set up gag,,used to rob people on out of the way deserted roads , That one person wouldfeign car distress with their car hood up . And would hold people who came to help them at gun point .. this hapoened often enough in rural Calif areas enough to make it into the news ..Sometimes , you just gotta becareful how you help people ...just a FYI ....sorry its seems cynicsl but it was in the news some years ago .

Jakki

There is no way to "know" that someone will hold you up at gunpoint before they do so

I am not telepathic and I don't know what is going to happen before it happens

Besides just because someone allegedly got held up at gunpoint when they pulled over to attempt to assist someone that appeared to have car trouble, does not mean, never try to help anyone

"Be careful" is ambiguous. Sometimes you have to make decisions and actions in real time, based on the information it appears that you have, at the time

Thank you .. it spooked me pretty badly , as I travelled quite abit on out of the way roads doing some hands on serbice work for slmost tens years as my job. Snd just btw ,, have learned to pay vloser sttention yo my intuition these days.
But prolly easy to become neurotic just listening to most news channels

I wasn't suggesting that you have character flaws, no more than we all do. And I'm pretty sure there's something great about you.

Bee

Nobody is perfect

One quality could be a good thing in one situation and a bad thing in a different situation

For example, some job descriptions specify "outgoing", but outgoing is not always a good thing

It is not possible to objectively measure the quality of a character trait

Maybe figure out the differences in situations can be observed to be able to see what is needed for a specific situation , relationship of whatever kind you might have to deal with, ( provided ,if your willing ) or can tolerate..
Proper "fitment" in relationships can be what makes or breaks a situation .

Indeed, if it were a truly deserted road, I'd honestly just call the local emergency number to let them know that there was a breakdown on the side of the road to respond to. Even if there isn't anything criminal going on, the police can get there and make sure that it doesn't cause a crash or further issues.

Last year where somebody around here had a break down on a bridge and was standing in front of his car when a drunk driver hit it at a high rate of speed and caused him to vault over the railing and plunge to his death below. It took hours for divers to locate the body.

So, the moral of the story is that these breakdowns can go bad for a variety of reasons and it's probably best to call 911 for an immediate response if the vehicle isn't well off to the side of the road or it's in a weird place. If it's a more reasonable time and place, offering help may be appropriate, but realistically, it's unlikely that there's much that a bystander can do that would be helpful in that case.

QUOTE from above : it's unlikely that there's much that a bystander can do that would be helpful in that case.

Sighes .. Late husband thought hisself to be a Hero to those less fortunate , especially women. Automotive and Aircraft was his business...! Had seen his diagnostic abilities at work first hand .. It was like he was almost a detective , when a engine was having issues .. So it got scarey when when he would pull over at twilight to help people . his diagnostic skills were amazing .. Aerospace / High performance Automotive racing was like a hobby to him..Worked for some very innovative Aircraft people.