Crystal1414 wrote:
I couldn't sleep last night. I'm afraid of the dark again. I thought I saw a face in my window. I'm full of anxiety today. I'm in my PJs and haven't got off the sofa for a few hours. I feel really dizzy. I'm listening to classical music.with wave.sounds. it's kind of helping. Ive been getting really upset so people don't want to be around me. I've been mumbling to myself and people think I'm talking to them. I've been repeating words angrily. People think it's because I'm hungry.
I feel really upset inside. I cannot explain it because I don't know how. I get stressed by stuff other people don't think is a big deal. It's frustrating. My sister gave me a fidget toy because I needed my hair brushed and i got really mad. I hate having my hair brushed. it's a sensory thing. I had a meltdown today too. I don't know why. It was a bad one and I ended up crying a lot. Im feeling a bit more calm but I feel upset inside still.
I had a long day today. My thoughts are getting a bit disjointed. Sorry if I don't make a lot of sense.
That said, I relate as much as I'm able. Some days are just not good ones. Sounds like you have some good self care going with music. And nothing wrong with staying in pajamas on the couch some days...it can be really good to have less to do, think about sometimes.
I don't always (should say usually) know how to explain what I'm feeling/thinking/whatever either. Sometimes the whats and whys can escape us. I think it was important what you said though about tending to forget you can feel better. I do that to. Things can seem permanent when in the middle of them. Thankfully things are temporary, even and especially bad days. Awesome you remember that. That's huge.
Hugs if that's okay and I hope you get more good self care in and get to feeling better asap.