I have applied to target, walmart is next if needed.

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I thought I landed a better job at a dry cleaning place where they said I'd likely get at least 30 hours a week, well been here for months and that has not materialized...I go in at 7:30 and more often than not I run out of work before noon. And it feels a little misleading like I feel like I am lucky if I get 20 hours.

I was hoping to really make 15 an hour and perhaps get enough hours I could get off the SSI, but yeah been there for a while now a few months and the 30 hours per week has yet to happen. Also the coworkers are jerks but can't really go to the boss about it because they are his favored employees so he's be more likey to take their side on anything. But yeah they initially told me I was doing well at my job and so I felt overall good about it. But then all the sudden changed their tune and act like I am the shitiest worker they have ever had not the boss but the manager and a coworker who has been there longer than I have, idk just seems they dislike me for no good reason. I don't know what happened but its like one day they were nice enough to me and next day her and the manager have just been kind of hostile or trying to ignore me and make me feel uncomfortable or whatever. when I don't really think I ever did anything to them, so idk why they are acting like that towards me. what just because 1 in 20 shirts I press don't come out extra perfect, as I am confident most come out ok. But its a machine with a human putting a shirt on it like from time to time there will be flaws. I guess I was just suprised because before all this they were complimenting my work and saying how they are glad I come int to help with pre-staining and then switched to 'you never do anything, you suck sort of attitude so I am not as keen as doing extra stuff like taking the trash out anymore if that is how they want to be. LIke all I did was get hired onto a job and have been trying to do my best, and initially because I cared of helping their little buisiness look good...but so the reward I get is bitchy coworkers who hate me for no reason when even when I first started I was asking a bunch when I ran out of shirts early if there was anything else I could help them with...but they never had anything extra for me so of course I stopped regularlty asking about it as I didn't want to be obnoxious since they never had anything else so it started feeling cringy to keep asking.

But yeah then out of nowhere those guys both teamed up on being hateful towards me for some reason, like I swear I never did anything to them outside of being a bit closed off because I have trauma of people making fun of me so it's
hard for me to fully open up to new people...I was still doing good enough work which they seemed to respect at first, but they switched their tune to act like I never do good work...and it is frusterating as I do kind of take pride in work and doing it right. So it's hurtful for someone to act like I am not doing enough...especially when I fold their blankets nicer than any of them do I actually make them look nice in the bag where the manger just seems to do half folding and half just stuffing a stubborn blanket into a bag to where the presentation is ugly. I at least know how to but a blanket in right so it looks nice for the customer...but then again my manager clearly has an eating disorder she is basically a skeleton so of course I cannot expect her to be resonable if she is constantly having low blood sugar and about to pass out at any moment. Like she looks like a holocaust victim...I just err I am willing to give up my weekends to get a real job where this kind of stuff doesn't fly. Like that woman is ready to pass out constantly and its sad to see that no one has adressed that elephant with her. Like how can the boss work side beside her day after day without realizing she is a skeleton and probably needs help. LIke part of her as*hole behavior is probably explainable since she is most likey always hangry since she doesnt even have a tiny bit of meat on her bones like her body is probably eating itself. But she'd never want my help so nothing I can do aside from switch jobs so I at least dolnt have to see from day to day how much she is harming herself by not eating anything ever.
I guess I just want a real job where people are expected to have at least basic respect for their fellow co-workers and act professionally, than the toxic thing my current job is.

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 22 Jun 2024, 3:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hi Sweetleaf,

You may have fallen into the trap of doing too much, making your co-workers look bad.

It is like those reality shows in which your fellow competitors vote you out if you are too good!

I'm learning to play social golf. The most important thing is to play fast because nobody likes to wait around for someone who is slow. I'm small so my ball doesn't go very far. But I can hit the ball straight down the fairway!
One guy gave me the complement of "we will just use your ball. I'll it from where you hit it until I figure it out!"
Sometimes I'll do something really well. But not often enough to seem threatening or overly competitive.

Maybe...but that seems weird. Like why would they be hostile about me getting done with work sooner and then like sticking around to take out all the trash. LIke they thought I was competing with them? LIke nah I just wanted to be a good worker and get my pay...also seemed rather understaffed when I started so I was juust trying to express willingness to do a bit more around the dry cleaning shop if they needed it. But my two coworkers
have a boss that seem fine with kind of letting them run the show and idk for whaterver reason they really don't like me, but idk what I ever did to them. LIke I don't even wear makeup a

Idk maybe they are jealous or something and I just should not waste thoughts on them. but yeah I never ever meant to make anyone look bad, but for all I know I was better at shirt pressing than she could do so that is what made her mad? idk.Either way I don't appreciate that sort of hostility. Like I never did anything to them so why do they got to turn around and be as*holes to me when I have only missed a day cause I was sick, I still called in to let them know and I always do my work without complaints while they are joking around about going home because they can't handle their work load....its like oh yeah than maybe quit scaring away all the emplolyees you retain everytime...but they'll never learn. So yeah I just don't want to work there anymore cause it's toxic, but I feel it is better to try and secure a new job before I quit. So I have been putting applications out like crazy juust hoping to hear back from a real job and not some weird small business with conservative ownership.

But idk from what you say...shoud I hold back on all I could do or what, cause I do not want to come off as trying to out compete people but I also want to at least do good enough to keep my job. Idk I have never done a customer heavy job before....but I have been applying for some hoping the popularity of nerds these days makes people a bit more accepting of us weird nerds. Idk how to talk to people at a cash register but still have applied to those jobs as maybe they could teach me a bit. .and idk if I have an apron or something 'official' to show I work there I think it would make me feel more comfortable in my role like may sound silly but I feel like looking the part for a job would be kind of nice. Like I think an apron showing I am an employee would do something good for my self confidence. But yeah I don't really want to compete I just want to make enough money to get booted off SSI. So then I can save as much money as I want,cause with SSI if you get more then 2 ,000 dollars at once they can kick you off it. That is whyh I spent my 1,ooo dollar tax return on a P.C cause like on SSI you cannot keep that kind of money or it easily puts you over the limit so I bought a 900 dollar gaming PC as me and my boyfriend needed a good computer anyways so worked out fine this time and kept me from going over the 2,ooo dollar savings limit and we got a good looking and very funcional P.C out of it.

But I juust want a real job where I make enough to get off SSI and then I don't have a cut off limit of only being able to save2,ooo dollars.

If you do you job sooner and wait around with nothing to do but pick up the trash you are sending a very bad message.

Are your co-workers also supposed to pick up the trash? Should they be working faster?
Does management need to figure out stuff for you to do? Perhaps they have to send you home because there is no other authorized work you can do. They may have subcontracted out the trash detail to another company.
Are you gunning for a management job?

Top level management thinks it is wonderful if everyone does two jobs. Why not three?
Your co workers don't see it the same way.

"Do your job" means different things to normal people and Aspies. I've seen it over and over and over again.
Lots of Aspies think they are doing a great job but can't hold a job!

Yes, there are elite Aspies who can think the way you do and have secure jobs.
But, no, this sort of thinking fails when you are an entry level worker.
When you are an entry level worker you need to think like the other entry level workers.

One of the reasons I retired was my boss remembered by exceptional work long ago and expected more of the same, while the New Big Box expected "everyone to do their job" No more, no less. The New Big Guy had management training sessions to change the thinking of my boss. He was not pleased. Not at all.
The other is that I have enough money that I don't need to work.
I can afford to do stuff for fun that costs money like play golf! Green fees can be expensive.
Our family has already given $$$ to Charity as we have enough so why not now if it makes estate settlement easier?
Normal families fight over estates and don't have any "left overs" to give away to Charity.
Charities have staff who are experts in dealing with negotiations and legal issues.

I worked at one job for 37years, then retired. Not at all like an Aspie.
I've concluded I'm transgender, with some savant skills like that on an Aspie Not an Aspie.
It is hard to communicate using body language when the operating system doesn't match the hardware!
Now that I've changed the updated the software to match the hardware things seem to work normally! How about that?

I've also done some hardware tweaks as well. Diet and exercise and I now have a really thin waistline!

This site has many stories about Aspies who approached work just as you do and found exactly the same thing you did!
Being able to remember that isn't normal but it is very hard to hide the unbelievable and gaslight someone for their own good. It is often acceptable to tell white lies.

It is employees duty to take out the trash, its more taking out full bags to the dumpster and putting fresh bags in the bins, not just like picking up trash to throw in the bin. How it works is I go in and do spot stain removal on shirts, or if there are no shirts that need it I work on blankets till they have shirts ready to press if there are no blankets then I may take the trash out, but usually I save the trash till I run out of shirts at the end of my shift. Then I clean the machine every couple weeks on friday.

And no I don't want a management job at all, I just like to do my best at whatever work I am assigned and I just like to try and be helpful. But yeah, the main boss does not seem to have any issue with me...it is just the one co-worker and the manager. So, idk is it better to just do the work they specifically give me and get a feel for things perhaps before trying to prove myself as extra helpful by pestering them about if there is more I can do? I know part of it is I am trying to compensate for my lack of great social skills.

And though I am not really at work to make friends, perhaps I should work on being a little more friendly...like even if it feels awkward or difficult. As people may get the wrong idea when I am so quiet. It's cause I am nervous, but for all I know they just think I'm rude and blowing people off or come off as too standoffish or something.

Doing more work to compensate for poor social skills is a very bad idea.

Instead, perhaps you could work on your social skills?

My wife would come home and complain how bad things were at work.

It was better when she went on disability and I didn't have to listen to that.
Between disability, my salary, and reduced taxation, we were pretty well off in terms of money.

I suppose you could say I was a 2nd generation wage earner with a stay at home wife!
I recall a social studies class in the 1970s. Three out of thirty students had stay at home moms or just 10%
If you were to assume independent variables two generations would bring that down to just 1%

Well yeah it probably would help to improve them, I just don't know where to find an instruction manual, do they have a social skills for idiots book somewhere? lol.

Just seems counterintuitive that one can come off as too hard of a worker or too perfectionist, I thought that you were supposed to always do work to the absolute best of your ability.

Also my boyfriend prefers when I am not venting about my crappy work day as I can tend to go on too long about it. So the solution for us is we each get a short while to talk about work and then we throw it in the trash as none of the people we interacted with at work are paying rent to stay in our heads. That said it can be hard to leave it in the trash but...my boyfriend has explained that its not that he thinks what I feel or have to say is invalid he just can tell its distressing to me to get caught up ranting about it and he doesn't like to see me like that cause it seems like I'm letting myself be tortured by stuff that went wrong rather than letting myself move on. Not exact words but that seems like the gist of it. So i can vent a bit but if I am going on too long he reminds me I don't need to spend so much time thinking about those hags. And to be sure I am much happier when I am not focusing on the sh***y moments I have at work.

And yeah if my boyfriend could provide enough for the both of us he probably would be ok with me staying at home, but for us to get closer to the life we want requires that I get some better hours, cause we can afford rent, internet and all the basic things but we'd like to get a couple cats and maybe a pug, french bulldog, bassat hound or some sort of little dog but we need a bit more in our overall budget to make any of that happen.

[quote="Sweetleaf]

Well yeah it probably would help to improve them, I just don't know where to find an instruction manual, do they have a social skills for idiots book somewhere? lol.

Observe your co-workers and see if you can learn to copy social interactions that work. And avoid stuff that doesn't. Sometimes merely making the effort to show some respect is all you co-workers want.

Just seems counterintuitive that one can come off as too hard of a worker or too perfectionist, I thought that you were supposed to always do work to the absolute best of your ability.

Management BS

Also my boyfriend prefers when I am not venting about my crappy work day as I can tend to go on too long about it.

I would agree with your Boyfriend

And yeah if my boyfriend could provide enough for the both of us he probably would be ok with me staying at home, but for us to get closer to the life we want requires that I get some better hours, cause we can afford rent, internet and all the basic things but we'd like to get a couple cats and maybe a pug, french bulldog, bassat hound or some sort of little dog but we need a bit more in our overall budget to make any of that happen.
I tried to point out that was unusual when I was a kid. it hasn't gotten any easier. [/quote]

This discussion shows how crippling Autism can be in our society. Aspies can do the work better than normal people, but they are tricked into doing it so well that their fellow workers don't want to work with them! They are easily gaslighted by management into raising the bar for everyone. Thus they become short timers who can't seem to be able to hold a steady job anywhere.

It may be helpful to study the 1987 Movie Spaceballs.
The Aliens are like Aspies, far more advanced but far too trusting.

Aliens have advanced technology and superior intellect on their side.
The humans have lies and dirty tricks to counter that.

Professional advice would be best, but is usually unavailable to adults with autism.
In Connecticut a lot of services stop when children become adults.
I doubt it is better in other places.

Yeah, I think you sorta hit the nail on the head. Also, though I think it would be a bad idea to copy the interactions of my current co-workers they aren't a very good example. I guess I figure a bigger place with more employees such as target or walmart might provide better observations of co-worker interactions than a small place where it's not really ran professionally.

I also need to get my drivers license as being able to drive places would help with finding more job opportunities. As I have seen some appealing jobs, but they are too far away to get to with just my e-scooter.

You need to "blend in" with your co-workers if you want to keep a job.

I think you are smart enough to figure out how to do that once you realize the need for doing that.

Same goes with driving. You don't want to be driving so slowly that everyone is frantically trying to get around you!
But, this is going to happen if you insist on driving the posted speed limit!

Where I worked the women rarely work makeup and heels. Or skirts and pantyhose.
I haven't been there in over a year, but if I'd have to guess, the best dressed woman is transgender!

I think it will be easier to blend in if I have more co-workers and a uniform or apron or whatever to designate me as an employee.
Part of the problem here is it is very few employees and like I didn't click with them or whatever and they are more close knit. Like I already realized I might not fit in well, but I thought by doing good at my work I would at least gain enough respect for them to be civil and at first they complimented me on how good I was at my job. But now they are just trying to drive me out like they did a previous employee idk if she got fired or just quit...but either way it was my manager and her best friend co-worker who drove her out. At the time I didn't see it seemed like she was being lazy at work and a rude jerk but now I can understand why she may have seemed rude to them, cause they were messing with her. I feel bad for taking the manager and co-workers side on that, when maybe they were just doing to that poor girl what they are trying to do to me.

Also, I witnessed another employee literally quitting and walking off the job that day, cause he was sick of lack of communication from the manager he did not bother with a two weeks notice. At the time I thought maybe he was the as*hole, but now seeing what these coworkers are trying to do with me...I think he was just sick of the BS. Idk I guess I should have taken those as red flags, but I thought maybe they were just crappy employees and I was doing good.

We can be slow learners. Like the Lady Sansa in the Game of Thrones.
But, we can remember.
"The North Remembers" is a theme of this excellent show (at least until they decided to kill it off)

Just ride this one out and use what you learned for the next job.
It is easier to find a job if you already have one.

If would help if you dressed the part. Maybe you can find something inexpensive online or at a thrift store.
I love shopping for clothes.

Yesterday I wrote a big check wearing essentially a pink tube top and short shorts and handed it off to my Home Improvement Contractor. With freshly painted pink nails and sandals to show off the red painted toenails!
The Golden Rule! She who has the gold makes the rules.
I warned him by telling him that the money I save by not running A/C allows me to him instead of someone cheaper.
He wants know when he can do the next job for me!

I have decided to quit, I have not found a new job yet and was going to try and stick it out there till I did. But I can't do it, things got a bit heated today I got into a heated argument with the manager and her favored employee. And idk I don't really want to rehash the whole thing so I will leave it at that.

But, I plan to go in tomorrow to talk to the actual boss about what has been going on, and quitting because not sure there is any real way for those mean girls to make up with me and not sure I can make up with them. Or maybe they've already talked to him and convinced him to fire me...not sure quite what I will be walking into tomorrow in hell.

I think you should stay and make them fire you!
I think it would be a good experience now that you have a better idea what is going on.
Getting fired would allow you to collect unemployment.

But, it is up to you to decide.

I can't stay, idk when I argued with them I did get a bit visibly shakey, like even when I got home it still took a while to be able to keep my hands entirely steady. I was able to kind of contain it for the rest of my shift, to at least get my shirts done. But when I clocked out I definitely called my boyfriend, id alreadly been texting him about it. And when I first called he said he had to call me back cause he had a customer coming out(he does tree work so whatever house owner wanted to talk to him) but while I was waiting for him to call me back I just broke down crying so I was kind of a crying mess when he called back and I was still in the parking lot, I couldn't even save it till I got home. And I certainly don't want to break down like that in front of those mean ladies. My goal is to get a job with enough hours and high enough pay I can get off SSI, but in the meantime if I stop working I can likely get back the maximum amount of SSI benefits till I find another job. But also I always struggled with people bullying me when I grew up so you know it upsets me if it happens in a workplace were I was just trying to do my best.
But like it could be very well they plan to fire me, but if not I think I need to quit so I can maintain my mental health, cause if that deteriorates it will be even harder to find a job like sort of hard to find a job when you're in a psych ward because of being a suicide risk.

If I didn't have the SSI option would for sure try and just have them fire me, but I do in fact have the SSI option of getting back the full amount if I quit....and that would be enough to get by till I find a new job.

I do plan to do some breathing excercises tommorow before I scoot down to my job, and talk to the boss, maybe they will try to resolve things but I don't see how since those two hate me at this point, and well I don't really like them enough to try and make up either at this point and I do not trust that the big boss would actually take my side against them. So I think I will just need to quit, unless they fire me which is a possibility, but if not I am probably going to quit anyways. I don't want to play mean girl games with them....I am not that kind of girl.