Is anyone on HRT?

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I'm curious if anyone here is on HRT (MTF, FTM, MTX, maybe you're a guy who just wants to grow some boobs - whatever your journey is).

As of 7/10/24, I'm on 6mg Progynova (2mg 3x a day) and roughly 12.5mg cyproterone acetate. I say 'roughly' because the pills are way above the dose recommended (and that dose is where most of the nasty side effects of cypro come from), and I had to cut them myself into four sections. It's too early to report on any difference it's made for me.

What exactly am I after? Mental clarity, honestly. I think testosterone is bad for my body. It makes me a horny, angry beast that's out to destroy the world. The physical changes and blocking of certain hormones that cause hair loss are appealing to me too - I just don't see myself aging as a man without my stomach turning. At the same time, the breast development. factor is going to make things a little tricky, as I'm kinda doing this in secret while living with my very conservative grandparents. From what I understand, HRT doesn't normally give you very impressive boobs, but with my dumb luck, I would be the exception to the rule. I'm hoping sports bras and layers through the winter will help me ride through some of it if I have to.

Of course, I know that estrogen isn't magic, and there are changes I'm going to have to make in my own life as well to be a healthier and possibly even happyish person.

"Nekomonster, why would you go on HRT in the circumstance you're in? That seems stupid and risky." Because I don't think I can wait any longer and keep living. I don't like the person I am currently. I want to build someone that I want to take care of.

(Also, please don't come in here to try to lecture anyone on why they shouldn't take HRT. You can do whatever you want with your own body.)

Figured I'd give a little update after a little over a month, for anyone curious about things progress on a moderate-to-high dose:

No real physical changes. My nipples are a little sore, which could be a sign of impending growth. Reduced erections and semen volume.

Emotionally, I didn't feel like there were a lot of changes until I tried to turn on The Lion King just as background noise and ended up crying when Mufasa died. Not that I'm particularly tough as nails, but it's usually a little harder to get the waterworks going than that.

I've had more positive emotions overall - some of which would belong in the adult forum, others are just the idea of possibly feeling comfortable in my skin. The doubts are still there, and I still don't have a game plan for the long term. The person that I want to be is still far from who I am today. However, I feel confident that this is right for me and am going to steady the course with the same dose. (I thought about switching to injections but the site I was going to use to get them suddenly went down.)

Currently attempting for executive function and emotional stability; less hormonal ups and downs, because I spent years not keeping up with my own reproductive system and it's affecting my functioning and quality of life as if I'm trapped in a developmental time loop.

I'm a biological female.

I'm only taking some low dose hormonal birth control with higher androgenic effects, unprescribed and not as a contraceptive.

Nothing complicated yet. It's only been less than 5 months.


Initial effects were great;

Some degree of alexithymia because my interoception and emotional reactivity is too sensitive thus this is good for me.
Gained a bra size and suddenly bras are more comfortable...
Caffeine finally gave me intended benefits instead of only side effects.

And certain aspects of my mind and emotions became accessible whenever I take melatonin.
Overcame few emotional hung ups that's been affecting me for most of my life that possibly required psychotherapy for in a span of few days.

My sleep quality went from painfully disruptive and crappy to a bit less crappy but I can still feel the contrasts of it.
My physical cold intolerance slightly loosen up a bit.


Tried to skip periods but the breakthrough bleed started around 8th week...


However...

My body is 'adjusting' around after 3rd month.

Effects are becoming lessened and started getting 'side effects' that my natural cycle is giving me. I do not want that.

Other than my gradually returning intolerance to wearing bras and PMDD-like after whenever ovulation is supposed to happen, I'm also became easily sweaty too.


There are no searching results for me that will say 'how to stop my body from adjusting to whatever hormones and keep the so-called initial side effects?'

I just want to stop the ups and downs that my 'natural' cycle has been giving me.
My natural cycle is not only unpredictable, but everything I can and cannot do.

I just don't want to be in this sort of developmental time loop.


I may need some more estrogen for executive function.
And whatever amount of progesterone I kept getting is somewhat enough. I don't need more of it because having more of that is a trigger of disruption every few weeks.



Maybe I'll take a month or two break, see if I can get those effects again?

Maybe I'll double dose as an attempt.
But who knows... I'll take the risk.



I can't go to the doctor for this because I cannot trust them. Because I'm not 'eloquent' enough.
And because I came from a place that do not consider this sort of thing, they'd assume it's a psych thing when it isn't.


Kind of wish I wasn't born with a female body. It's a fricking hassle having one.

I don't care about appearances and all those social aspects of gender; but the insides, the mindsets, the hormones to regulate... Ugh...

It's not like I ever planned on having biological children. Heck, I don't even plan marriage or any relationship.

Wish I can just be 'stable'.

Just stable. No need to cope with the so called 'ups and downs' of this body for the sake of still having 'fertility'...

It's a hassle to have them for me.
It's not useful for me, it does not bring me joy... I wish I don't have a reproductive cycle that gave me nothing but side effects, disruptions, and problems.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I've considered it but I already have an hourglass figure with a thin waist.
Guys can get breast cancer. The risk is greater if you are on HRT. Many MtFs get mammograms as a precaution.

What I would suggest is either dressing male or female.
While dressing "in the middle" can elicit strong emotional responses, this is the exact opposite of what many want!
If you want to "blend in" or hide you need to look either male or female.

There are feminine crop tops with built in bras that may help you hide your growing breasts.
Also, a lot of guys have breasts from taking ADHD drugs. A well known side effect.
What you see in the mirror close up isn't what most folks see when you are out on the street.

You may want to start learning how to dress in feminine clothes if that is your goal.
It is a lot harder to dress female than male. Clothes are suppose to fit tighter.
Women come in a lot of shapes and sizes and they have a lot more clothing choices as a result.
Sort of like buying peanut butter at the grocery store!

It may be worth hunting for a doctor that has an interest in LGBTQ issues. My last doctor was like that.
She moved back to Michigan so I had to find another one.

I've been on it for over 11 years. It's unlikely people will notice the breast growth, and, if they do, it's unlikely they will connect it to HRT. Cis men get gynecomastia sometimes. You may be disappointed in how easy it is to hide the effects of HRT.

HRT did good things for my emotional stability and positive moods, though I will have to admit to being flat chested. I didn't notice a big impact on things like body hair, but it did change my appearance more subtly as well as the type of reactions I got. I took it for one year while closeted, much of that on very low dose as doctors were overly cautious about treating trans people back then.

By the end, I was having occasionally having experiences where someone would call me ma'am, then look terrified and start apologizing. After I start wearing women's clothing and had another year on HRT, I would have people apologizing after calling me sir instead. Likely many realized I was trans, but I was no longer being read as a cisgender man, feminine or otherwise.

Yes, you may need a purse to hold your stuff.
I find that golf skirts often have useful pockets.

I don't know if this is dated fashion advice. However, it generally worked well for me to go to target, get skinny jeans from the Juniors / teenage section (narrower hips and skinny jeans are stretchy nowadays), then combine a tank top with a V neck tshirt since their tshirts are see through. The sleeves on the T shirt should start where your shoulders start turning down; otherwise it will make your shoulders look bigger which isn't the end of the world. You can wear a cardigan over the T shirt if you want to look more formal.

Looking for "slim fit" in the men's section can also work for both jeans and T-shirt. You may look more androgynous, but it will be equivalent to some women's section clothing. I've also found taking my measurements (waist, hips, stomach for lower rise "waists") and going by the size guides online to get good results for pants. For the waist with in person stores, you can bring a measuring tape to the store, measure the length of the top of the pants, then double it. This saves you having to try on pants where you don't know the measurement.

This style is very easy and will be the equivalent to "dressing nice" in an informal setting. It doesn't take much special knowledge. As you get older or in areas where people dress more formally, the expectation might be more skirt/blouse to look more 'mature'. A line skirts are very forgiving and the blouses follow the same shoulder rules as the tshirts. However, previous style will still continue to be socially acceptable outside certain professional settings.

I personally hate purses and prefer backpacks because I want to be able to use my hands. Backpacks do cause some people to assume you're a thief or homeless if you wear one in a context where most women are using purses.

https://thatsnotmyage.com/style-at-any- ... body-bags/
A cross body bag is an option to keep your hands free.

A light colored skirt or skort will help to hide the lack of hips and provide more balance to your upper body.

Junior size jean sizes are odd numbered, while women's sizes are even numbered.
Where I live the Junior's section is closest to the front of the store in both Target and Kohl's.
There are a couple of different departments for women's clothes.

In my case, I use both a waist pack / fanny pack and a small but rugged backpack with padded shoulder straps, unlike the fashion backpacks. The backpack has stuff like hairbrush, water bottle, sunscreen, etc, while the waist pack has my phone and wallet.

I find weight not being evenly distributed across the back/shoulders to cause problems in the long run. If you are driving in a car and then immediately sitting down when you get to your destination then this is probably less of a concern. I would probably use a purse if I for something like dressing up to go to a restaurant or an office job since I'll be setting it down anyway.

I'm considering getting a larger military style backpack, as carrying more weight seems like it would be good for my health (muscle building, walking becomes more intensive for the cardiovascular system). People in the military supposedly go up to 30% of their weight for shorter durations. Gradually building up to 20% should be generally safe with good posture and weight distribution, whereas my mini-backpack is only like 7% of my bodyweight. You can tell I'm not very concerned about looking girly at this point though.

3 month update:

Slight presence of breast development. Some days they look more 'developed' than others, but that might be my head messing with me. More emotional, sometimes for better or for worse. Not noticing a lot more physical changes right now.