Is this autism?

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Hi again. (I am sorry for this long post.) I just read someone else's reply to a post where they said they didn't feel like they had severe autism, but wanted to research it anyway. I think this person said they felt different, but weren't sure how. That comment made me think of my own situation. I've been wondering about this for awhile:

I have been on a lot of meds for different mental health reasons since aged 15 and have been in therapy/seeing a psychiatrist since then, too. But I have never felt much better. All the meds I've been on and all the "therapy" I've gotten have never seemed to help me. I do have diagnosed mental issues and they are being treated with meds, but as far as feeling okay, I don't. I have always felt different than others and have behaved oddly and different and irrational. At those times, I didn't know what was going on, I just knew I felt different. Other students, sometimes teachers, would treat me rudely, as if I were being mean or bitchy to them. I got bullied in every grade of school, K-12. I was called names and treated badly. I could feel something was not right but I had no Idea what. I was very socially awkward and introverted and did some things that were so stupid, that some of those things got me in trouble in school. And I still always feel different than other people.

I stare into space a lot of the time and can't process anything. I don't feel connected to anyone or anything. My main emotion is anger and with me living with my mother (not by choice), things get bad between us all the time. She always says it's my perception on how I'm seeing how she acts-that her anger or what she says, isn't really what's going on. I had thought my trouble processing things and trouble connecting was due to a certain mental illness I have, but now I'm not sure. I also have had to and still do force my mind to take in information and do something with it, including learn. Otherwise, everything is just words or things that are happening, with no connection at all. I was also told that I have a frontal lobe problem, so I was thinking that was the reason for some of these problems. There are other things going on, too.

I haven't called yet to see if I can be tested for autism, but have taken some online tests-3 of them-which I know don't diagnose you, and I was always "informed" that I was on the spectrum. Several people have told me they think I am and 1 person who I am chatting with online said he suspected it, too. I never even thought about it! (I don't mean to offend anyone or say anything inappropriate here. I don't know if I am or not, so I'm sorry if I do.)...I don't "feel" autistic. With my other mental stuff, I can feel those diagnoses, feel the symptoms they cause, but with autism, even though I have a lot of traits, I don't feel like I am autistic-idk if that makes sense. I know I have things wrong with me, possibly from autism, but I had never thought they were really part of anything, only things that were happening because I was odd. But I don't feel connected to being autistic.

If anyone can shed some light on this, I would appreciate it. And as some of you know, I have problems navigating this site, so I will respond to any possible replies somewhere along the line.

Thank you!

Could be autism causing the other mental issues?

I am one who didn't have a clue I was on the spectrum, because when one saw cases on the news they were the worst cases in a physical (And mental) way, so when it was suggested to me I was autistic, I thought they were either trying to insult me (Not that autism.is an insult. Is more I took it as them trying to insult me because I did not realize they had a point), or were joking around.

Hi and welcome. I can relate to your feelings of "otherness" and being a highly-introverted, disjointed thinker. I always knew there was something different about me but I had no idea what it was. I was aware of it at age three, if not sooner. I also went to lots of therapists for different reasons (mutism, depression, anxiety, trauma) but had no idea there might be an overriding condition which would explain most of it with one word. I didn't get dx until I was nearly 50, not because I didn't fit the criteria but because I was just dealing with one mental health issue at a time instead of putting it all together with a specialist. When I did go for assessment I was off-the-charts and diagnosed on the spot.

My questions for you would be about sensory. Do you have any of the descriptors from Part B of the DSM?

Also you may have seen this before but it's worth a look if not. It's not diagnostic but I find it to be a good list of autistic examples. It says it's just for women but I assume it's the same for men. I'm not a big fan of thinking women have their own subtype of autism, but that's just my opinion.


Samantha Craft's Unofficial Checklist:

https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-a ... checklist/

]Could be autism causing the other mental issues?

I am one who didn't have a clue I was on the spectrum, because when one saw cases on the news they were the worst cases in a physical (And mental) way, so when it was suggested to me I was autistic, I thought they were either trying to insult me (Not that autism.is an insult. Is more I took it as them trying to insult me because I did not realize they had a point), or were joking around.[/quote] It could be causing the other issues. I've wondered that myself. If it is, I think it will be a hard road for me to get everything straight. I also don't fit the extreme traits of autism, at least not physically. But the more people think I have it, the more sure I am that I have it too. Thank you for replying!

Sorry Mountain Goat for messing up your reply to me

If three online quizzes said you were very likely Autistic then you are very likely Autistic.

But, as you already know, that is not an official diagnosis...but it suggests it's not your imagination.

My bride and I both researched Autism on the Internet and we both concluded it sounded like me. But that was not an official diagnosis and we could've both been imagining it. Then I found this test: AQ. It said my score indicated Autism. That's when I concluded there was a good chance I really was Autistic. But, of course, it was not an official diagnosis.

I was 64 and comfortably retired. I was not seeking treatment. I could've chosen to stop there. But (a) I didn't want to always have to say my diagnosis was unofficial from an online quiz, and (b) I was curious! For decades I suspected something was going on and I wanted a definitive answer.

If you want to seek treatment or formal accommodations then you probably want an official diagnosis, otherwise it is up to you. (You don't need formal accommodations if you can get the folk around you to tolerate your differences. Nobody complained that I had windup toys and fidget toys on my desk, for instance.)

If you decide to pursue a formal diagnosis then be advised:
A. it will likely cost three thousand dollars or more
B. it has to be done by a licensed psychologist who is qualified to do an assessment
C. your health insurance may or may not cover some of the cost
D. it is kind of fun!

Finding a licensed psychologist to do the assessment will take a little active research. You could start here https://www.findapsychologist.org but I didn't see any in my area whose listing said they did Adult Autism Assessments. I could find licensed psychologists in my area. I could see if they worked with Autism. I could see if they worked with patients my age. But I did not see any that said they did Adult Autism Assessments—not on https://www.findapsychologist.org and not on their own web pages. My theory is that it is such a niche market that they see no reason to waste web page space on it. I found a nearby practice that worked with Autism and patients my age and then telephoned them to see if they did Adult Autism Assessments. And the person who answered their phone did not know, they had to find out and call me back!

Check with your health insurance provider and see if they'll cover any of the cost. That's where I screwed up. The insurance company's telephone line wanted to help but I guess Adult Autism Assessments was a new one for them. They wanted to help but did not know how! They gave me incorrect information and that cost me months of delay. And by the time I'd gotten correct information from them I was so distracted I got a psychologist who was not in the insurance company's "network." That might've cost me some money (frankly, I was so happy with the diagnosis I would've gladly paid the full cost myself...getting partial coverage from the insurance company was just icing on the cake!). Do not assume their help line knows how to help! Keep good records and check stuff.

And be prepared for a test that is designed for a kid! That's who they usually test for Autism and parts of the testing process were clearly designed for children. I saw no reason to to think it would cause a wrong answer but I found it amusing and the psychologist seemed embarrassed. (Oh, collect any records you think will help. If you can bring someone who has known you for a long time that could help. If they can talk to someone who knew you as a child that might also be useful.)

Whatever you decided, good luck.

P.S. I think you would be a good addition to WP whether you get a formal assessment, or not, or what the formal assessment says.

Hi and welcome. I can relate to your feelings of "otherness" and being a highly-introverted, disjointed thinker. I always knew there was something different about me but I had no idea what it was. I was aware of it at age three, if not sooner. I also went to lots of therapists for different reasons (mutism, depression, anxiety, trauma) but had no idea there might be an overriding condition which would explain most of it with one word. I didn't get dx until I was nearly 50, not because I didn't fit the criteria but because I was just dealing with one mental health issue at a time instead of putting it all together with a specialist. When I did go for assessment I was off-the-charts and diagnosed on the spot.

My questions for you would be about sensory. Do you have any of the descriptors from Part B of the DSM?

Also you may have seen this before but it's worth a look if not. It's not diagnostic but I find it to be a good list of autistic examples. It says it's just for women but I assume it's the same for men. I'm not a big fan of thinking women have their own subtype of autism, but that's just my opinion.


Samantha Craft's Unofficial Checklist:

https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-a ... checklist/[/quote]

I have 6 out of 10 of the "B" list and so many other symptoms that I didn't know were from autism. There are specific things (many of them) that I have and didn't attribute them to anything other than clumsiness, as only 1 example. I am now 100% sure I have autism. Reading through the lists I was thinking, Omg, I can't believe it. Thank you so much!

Thank you, Double Retired for your advice and kind words. That is so kind of you to say. My therapist gave me information about a place where I can get tested that's only 15 min from my house. So, if my insurance will cover it, I will get tested. After reading all the replies, I know much more than I had before and I thank all of you.

To everyone who's replied to me: I have been trying to reply back, but I can't for the life of me, understand how to do it even after someone told me how. There are 2 people here I've replied to and I messed it up and someone else I couldn't even respond to. I'm sorry.

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So far so good!

One word of caution about assessment: If you have any desire to get life insurance and don't have it already, do that prior to your assessment. It puts us at a higher risk group and most life insurance won't insure us with the diagnosis because they think we're all going to commit mass hari-kari or somethin.

If I were you, I would definitely seek out an autism assessment if you are able to do that.