Page 1 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 74,226
Location: UK

21 Jul 2024, 7:05 am

How does the thought of dying alone make you feel

I mean ultimately I don't suppose it really matters but idk there's just something that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable when I think that there's every possible chance that I will die alone

It kind of makes me want to die in public like outside or something so at least there's someone (even a stranger) there to at least witness it


_________________
We have existence


DeepHour
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 82,799
Location: United Kingdom

21 Jul 2024, 7:25 am

This thought has bothered me for quite a few years as well. I live on my own, have no family members in the area, and don't like having anyone else in the house anyway. What I really dread is not so much dying alone, as not being discovered for weeks or even months...need I go on? :skull: :eew:

I'm not bothered about the thought of being attended by people I don't know, eg hospital staff, in fact I'd prefer the impersonal and anonymous aspect of it - just as long as there'd be someone to deal with the loose ends. I've never understood this "He/she died surrounded by his (her) family' stuff. I wonder how often they're just making that up when someone's death is announced?


_________________
On a mountain range
I'm Doctor Strange


Last edited by DeepHour on 21 Jul 2024, 7:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

BillyTree
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2023
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 743

21 Jul 2024, 7:37 am

I think dying is a lonely experience regardless if you are surrounded by friends and family or not.


_________________
English is not my first language.


DuckHairback
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2021
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,528
Location: Durotriges Territory

21 Jul 2024, 7:52 am

I've grown to quite like the idea of keeling over when I'm out for a walk. Maybe just enough strength left to drag myself under a hedge or into a ditch. Then just quietly make my exit. Maybe a bird would drop by from time to time to see how I'm getting on. Maybe a deer or a rabbit might watch my passing from a distance they felt comfortable with.

I'd much rather die alone in the woods than surrounded by people in a hospital.


_________________
It's dark. Is it always this dark?


babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 74,226
Location: UK

21 Jul 2024, 9:07 am

I'd be begging them to let me go if I was surrounded by people who claimed to know me

I think that's the point with me; people usually only like the version of me that they make up in their owns heads

I can live with that quite easily but I don't wanna die with it


_________________
We have existence


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,422
Location: Chez Quis

21 Jul 2024, 9:09 am

If I were to die alone, it means I'd be at home with the kids out.
My cats would eat me.

That's scarier than dying alone.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 35,857
Location: Long Island, New York

21 Jul 2024, 12:30 pm

This topic is personal for me as my mom died in the ambulance on the way to the hospice. While not literally alone it was not what you read when famous people die “peacefully surrounded by family and friends”. We still feel guilty that she died in that impersonal situation.

If you are lucky you die peacefully but often it is a long agonizing process. While she did appreciate us and the aides around she felt bad we had to see the deterioration process and did get annoyed with all the attention at times. The thought has occurred to me that she “chose” to die there so we could not see it or because she did want to die in a hospice. oBut outside of planned suicides I have my doubts if people can choose when to die.

If my death is not a sudden one, while the attention will be sensory hell, no attention as I become increasingly become disabled will be agony.

I do not think I would want my loved ones to see it. But who knows how I will feel at the time if I am able to have emotions at that point.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


Aspinator
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,321
Location: AspinatorLand

21 Jul 2024, 12:36 pm



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 74,226
Location: UK

23 Jul 2024, 10:53 am

Aw :)


_________________
We have existence


Carbonhalo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,969
Location: Musoria

27 Jul 2024, 10:41 pm

babybird wrote:
How does the thought of dying alone make you feel

I mean ultimately I don't suppose it really matters but idk there's just something that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable when I think that there's every possible chance that I will die alone

It kind of makes me want to die in public like outside or something so at least there's someone (even a stranger) there to at least witness it


At the moment of death, we all die alone.
Sometimes I feel like I've spent my life trying to minimise how many people are at my funeral.
I can count my family on one hand and my friends on the other.

I don't advocate this for anyone, but I would rather self terminate than lose agency and end up in aged care surrounded by strangers.
My only concern with this plan is whoever finds me/first responder.
I don't want to traumatise them, but my available methods are either mechanical or explosive.
A captive bolt gun looks like my current preference unless some doctors decide my degenerative disease will result in my death within 6 months
After death?. I want to be eaten by meal worms and have my skeleton mounted (maybe they can replace my missing disk's and get me back to 6'6") or cremation and distribution by rocket over this farm (with my current biggest rocket tooling I would need to be divided between 6)
A passfire and a whistle mix salute and I can cover the whole property.



Tanhauser
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 22 Sep 2022
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 9

23 Aug 2024, 4:55 am

I've been ruminating on this a little bit lately as well.
Its not the actual dying alone that bothers me, at the end everyone is more or less alone.

Its the long years of loneliness leading up to death, in old age, when the few people that I am close to now have passed away, am I just going to be whiling away time waiting for death, everyday alone, isolated?
Like a lot of autistic people I have very few close friends, even as a young person that's able to go out and do whatever they want the world is a lonely place, what is going to be like if I'm still the same way at 80, but now I can't drive to events, or go for walks or run?



skahthic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2007
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 837
Location: Florida

24 Aug 2024, 2:47 am

I worry about dying alone because I have pets who can't notify anyone that I passed away. They also can't feed themselves.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,907
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

24 Aug 2024, 3:00 am

babybird wrote:
How does the thought of dying alone make you feel

I mean ultimately I don't suppose it really matters but idk there's just something that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable when I think that there's every possible chance that I will die alone

It kind of makes me want to die in public like outside or something so at least there's someone (even a stranger) there to at least witness it


The thought of dying in general makes me uncomfortable alone or not, so I just try not to think too much about it. I'd rather think of the fact that there are probably tons of spiders in my house that I never see crawling around and catching and eating some of the more annoying insects.


_________________
We won't go back.


ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,955

24 Aug 2024, 6:24 am

I suppose our survival instinct makes death a scary thought, and those of us who get some comfort from being among friends might feel a bit better for having them around. I've always felt I'd benefit from that, though I don't know how to make sure it happens.

To me, death is the worst thing about life. All that acquired wisdom gone forever in a second. Then there's the pain and loss of abilities leading up to death, which I guess is rather depressing on top of knowing you're dying. Even now, in fair health and with maybe 15 or more years left to live, I'm haunted by this feeling that there really isn't time to do much more. I don't know what the statistics say about how many people die painlessly. I hope when I die I won't know much about it.

It must be great to believe you'll wake up in a better place, but the evidence for that seems very weak, and I don't expect to wake up at all.



Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,619
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

24 Aug 2024, 7:07 am

I'd be happier dying alone than dying with anyone who would witness and tell whatever tragic tale.

I don't like it when someone gets upset if I ever die.
Dying itself, to me, is a very liberating prospect.

Even better if I outlive everyone I hold dear, with no one left but me.


Maybe the only way I'd be happier than dying alone is dying with someone who's also dying just as well; not to comfort me, but to comfort them; happier if that's the last thing I'd do before leaving this world...


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.


Benjamin the Donkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2017
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,382

05 Sep 2024, 10:17 am

We all die alone.


_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."