Not wanting to tell girlfriend about diagnosis?

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Do I have to tell her? I want to keep it a secret. She appears to have a form of ADHD, but I don’t like knowing others’ issues. I would rather not know about her problems and her not know about mine.

Because of the stigma, I've never informed anyone I've gone on dates with (or had intercourse with) about being on the spectrum.

Plus I don't want her to dump me if she finds out I'm autistic.

What if she finds out you're a fraud who's hoping to fool her?

I don't want to fool her. I rather not tell her unless she asks first.

OK.

Just be forewarned that she might consider it a lie by omission, and that you're basically doing it to get in her pants.

Some people might find that creepy or manipulative, but each to his/her own.

I just don't like bringing up my autism to those I know. I don't think they need to know.

Three of my exes didn't like bringing up their homosexuality either.

They didn't think I needed to know they were deceiving me.

That's why they're my exes.

Maybe that's just me though.

This is my opinion: a successful relationship is based on both people being honest with each other. If you tell her and she rejects you because you are autistic she is saying she doesn't accept you as you. You might be pleasantly surprised by her reaction that she accepts you, warts and all.

Not wanting to say anything is somewhat understandable, but if it's as significant as some of the previous posts suggest either they already know, or they are going to figure it out.

Part of being in a relationship is trust and honesty. It's ultimately not my decision about what's best for you, but expecting that this sort of thing is going to remain secret without any consequences isn't necessarily a reality based expectation. Information wants to be free and there's really no telling what sort of a reaction you're going to get if you're not the one to tell them. Even if you do, there's no guarantees, but letting them find out on their own if it's a significant factor in your life is a lot less likely to go well.

I don’t think there is enough autism acceptance in society to tell her.

I don't like when people decide what I should and shouldn't know, or what I will / won't be able to handle.
I think it's best and most respectful when I have agency to make those decisions myself.

Again though, that's just me and I don't want to speak for anyone else.

The fact it's being done to preserve his sex life does add bonus layers of creep though, imo.

I personally find it weird that you don't want to know about her problems.
I'd want to know about problems.
Because that's part of understanding each other.
But that may be just me.

I think you should tell her.

How would your life have been different had you not been diagnosed?