I told my parents I never want to see them again

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FrostBender
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26 Jul 2024, 3:24 pm

I blame my parents for how I turned out. I was never taught to stand up for myself or how to learn social skills. So I had to do it all on my own.

My parents keep telling me that my UPS job will burn me out and that I should quit. I flipped out at them and told them it’s my life, I can do whatever job I want, and I hope that their crappy old house burns to the ground. I also said I won’t shed a tear when they die. I don’t want an inheritance from them, so I’m not going to suck it up and tolerate them.

f**k them. I’ll be going to a new apartment next week that is loads better than their house.

Also found out the doctor who diagnosed me recently got killed in a tractor-trailer accident. I feel that he deserved it, since the autism label ruined my life.

If I’m able to, I’ll move to another town to get away from them.


I don’t think they realize how hard I have worked to get the job, girlfriend, and housing.



babybird
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26 Jul 2024, 3:38 pm

Yeah you're doing really well ATM you should be proud of yourself

How you feeling now anyway

Are you still angry


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FrostBender
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26 Jul 2024, 3:44 pm

I have been screwed over so many times in my life that I can’t feel bad for other people’s struggles.

I don’t even love my girlfriend. I’m only with her to feel normal. Plus I know she’ll probably dump me for an NT.

Masking and developing sociopathic traits is the only thing that’s helped me.



Last edited by FrostBender on 26 Jul 2024, 4:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

FrostBender
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26 Jul 2024, 3:56 pm

I hate being diagnosed. If I ever have a child, even if he/she develops autistic traits, I will not take them to a doctor. They will be treated like an NT and adapt on their own.

Also, I wish more people on this site hated their autism as well. I’d relate better to them.



funeralxempire
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26 Jul 2024, 4:08 pm

FrostBender wrote:
I don’t even love my girlfriend. I’m only with her to feel normal. Plus I know she’ll probably dump me for an NT.


Or, at least someone who actually loves her.

It seems like you're creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.


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FrostBender
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26 Jul 2024, 4:19 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
FrostBender wrote:
I don’t even love my girlfriend. I’m only with her to feel normal. Plus I know she’ll probably dump me for an NT.


Or, at least someone who actually loves her.

It seems like you're creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I only pretend to love her. She has no idea.

I have no morals or ethics. I only care about obtaining material things and appearing normal. My only fear is that someone will find out it’s all fake. So I have to keep masking.

I will only ever take the mask off when I have enough money to not have to work anymore.



FrostBender
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26 Jul 2024, 4:24 pm

I used to be a nice person. But being treated poorly changed me. I don’t think I can ever be nice again. And I’ll probably never get over the fact that I’m autistic.

There will never be autism acceptance in society. So my only hope is to fake it.



funeralxempire
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26 Jul 2024, 4:27 pm

I'm not sure some of the problems you've described are your parents fault, but they're absolutely the sorts of personality traits that most people find repellent.

I'm not sure it's autism that's at fault for many of your social struggles so much as antisocial traits. People are distrustful of people they read as predatory. They don't always consciously understand what's raising red flags, but their guts will scream danger and they'll respond accordingly.

Being bitter, resentful, unwilling to emotionally invest in others, only concerned about your own interests, etc is far more repellent than being autistic. People who possess strongly antisocial traits have to mask those traits at least as much as autistics have to mask their undesirable traits. The main difference is that someone who's obviously autistic isn't viewed as a threat, unlike someone who's obviously antisocial.

It seems like you're hoping that leaning into one set of undesirable traits you possess will somehow disguise another set of less desirable traits without realizing that the people who are antisocial and succeed anyways do so despite their less desirable traits, not because of them. Successful antisocial types succeed because they're able to make people trust them regardless, not because they can't be trusted.


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FrostBender
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26 Jul 2024, 4:30 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Successful antisocial types succeed because they're able to make people trust them regardless, not because they can't be trusted.

My goal is to convince others I’m a nice person and get them to like me.



FrostBender
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26 Jul 2024, 4:33 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Being bitter, resentful, unwilling to emotionally invest in others, only concerned about your own interests, etc is far more repellent than being autistic

Not really. Most autistics have no job and no partner. Sociopaths become CEOs. Serial killers get love letters in prison. So all that matters is appearing charming and cordial. As long as I can keep up the act and make others think I care about them, my life should improve.

It’s eat or be eaten out there.



Last edited by FrostBender on 26 Jul 2024, 4:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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26 Jul 2024, 4:35 pm

FrostBender wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Successful antisocial types succeed because they're able to make people trust them regardless, not because they can't be trusted.

My goal is to convince others I’m a nice person and get them to like me.

Wouldn’t it be better to work on less desirable traits than to mask them? Even from a purely selfish perspective, it would help you much more in the long run.



Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 26 Jul 2024, 4:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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26 Jul 2024, 4:36 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Wouldn’t it be better to work on less desirable traits than to mask them? Even from a purely selfish perspective, it would help you much more in the long run.

No. I like messing with other people to give them a taste of their own medicine. They can feel how I felt getting screwed over for having autistic traits. Even better when they don’t realize I’m messing with them.

In my other post about the rude driver, he got what he deserved. His car would not have been totaled if he had not tailgated me.

Eye for an eye.



funeralxempire
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26 Jul 2024, 4:43 pm

FrostBender wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Successful antisocial types succeed because they're able to make people trust them regardless, not because they can't be trusted.

My goal is to convince others I’m a nice person and get them to like me.


The easiest way to do that is by genuinely possessing decency and demonstrating it.

FrostBender wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Being bitter, resentful, unwilling to emotionally invest in others, only concerned about your own interests, etc is far more repellent than being autistic

Not really. Most autistics have no job and no partner. Sociopaths become CEOs. Serial killers get love letters in prison. So all that matters is appearing charming and cordial.

It’s eat or be eaten out there.


Most people with antisocial personality disorder don't get ahead in life.

You're misattributing antisocial traits as being the reason why some people become CEOs. They don't become CEOs because of their antisocial traits, they wind up there because of the other traits they possess (intelligence, ambition, ability to form the right connections, etc).

Folks who possess strong antisocial traits but who lack planning, delayed gratification, drive and the ability to make others feel emotional connectedness to them don't end up as CEOs. They end up at the very bottom of society.


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26 Jul 2024, 4:43 pm

FrostBender wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Wouldn’t it be better to work on less desirable traits than to mask them? Even from a purely selfish perspective, it would help you much more in the long run.

No. I like messing with other people to give them a taste of their own medicine. They can feel how I felt getting screwed over for having autistic traits. Even better when they don’t realize I’m messing with them.

In my other post about the rude driver, he got what he deserved. His car would not have been totaled if he had not tailgated me.

Eye for an eye.


His car wouldn't be totalled if he knew how to drive well.

If he was like you he'd have PIT'd you and you'd be the one with a ruined car.


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FrostBender
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26 Jul 2024, 4:46 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Folks who possess strong antisocial traits but who lack planning, delayed gratification, drive and the ability to make others feel emotional connectedness to them don't end up as CEOs. They end up at the very bottom of society.

I make my girlfriend feel loved. I pretend to care about other’s feelings. I work really hard. So that means I should ideally end ip successful.



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26 Jul 2024, 4:55 pm

FrostBender wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Folks who possess strong antisocial traits but who lack planning, delayed gratification, drive and the ability to make others feel emotional connectedness to them don't end up as CEOs. They end up at the very bottom of society.

I make my girlfriend feel loved. I pretend to care about other’s feelings. I work really hard. So that means I should ideally end ip successful.


You believe you make her feel loved, but the thing about being with someone who's faking is eventually they let the mask slip and eventually the person being lied to notices.

If you're with her because you believe she provides status you're unlikely to react well when she notices the mask has slipped repeatedly, or when she notices you don't care about anyone else and realizes she has no reason to believe she isn't part of anyone else.

Working hard doesn't guarantee success. Most poor people work hard and yet they're poor by definition.


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