Still find it hard because my sister has a 4 year old

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My nephew is 4 now, but even now I still find it hard coming to terms with the fact that my sister is a mum. It feels like only yesterday that he was born.

The thing is seeing her as a mum, doesn't inspire me to want my own children but it still makes me feel as though more and more people 30 and over are becoming the same as her, and keeps reinforcing those thoughts in my head that I "need" to be at the stage that they are at by now, despite not mentally feeling ready for it and not being in a relationship to make that decision with. I don't know if it's just the autistic trait of not coping with change that is the reason for these thoughts.

Even though I keep telling myself and other people tell me that there are still lots of people in their 30s unmarried with no kids and even mum's partner Chris told me that there must be 30% who are and another 30% who are not. It still won't reassure me for some reason. I even seem to think people will not be attracted to me especially someone who is younger than me and I hear stories from some people feeling not as attractive in their 30s than in their 20s.

Forget the drummer, I march to the sound of a different marching band altogether. Well, sometimes. I'm 56 and never been married, no kids. Heck, I didn't start dating until I was 42.

My girlfriend is 21 years younger than me. When I've been on dating sites, my handsome mug (my profile pic at WP is a selfie ) gets them to look but it's my profile that gets them writing, and my personality that keeps them interested. So being older hasn't been a problem for me.

All four of my sisters (I don't have any brothers) are moms. I've never felt pressured by them, myself, or anyone to have kids of my own. My girlfriend is on the upper end of being able to have kids so that's a discussion we're going to have to sit down and talk about. We both answered "maybe" to the question of whether we want kids.

If you're meant to get married (some aren't) and have kids (ditto), she's out there. You'll find her when the time is right for both of you. And being guys we don't have biological clocks. We can have children at any age. Being able to keep up with them is a different matter, but that's still doable.