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bee33
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05 Aug 2024, 8:21 pm

Are you close with parents, siblings? Or grandparents and even cousins or aunts and uncles?

I'm Italian so in our culture we are close to family, but none of my extended family lives in the US, where I live, so I am not close with them. I was close with my parents before they died but I didn't discuss my personal issues with them because it only made them anxious and therefore made me more anxious. But I visited them all the time and I never doubted their love. The only close family I have left are my sister and her son, my nephew. I talk to my sister by phone every day and she has been a godsend during the last two years which have been very tough for me and she has put up with a lot of my crying and despair.



Fnord
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05 Aug 2024, 8:28 pm

Not really.

All my relatives from previous generations have passed on.  The relatives in my generation have grown apart.  The people of younger generations cannot be bothered to even remember that I exist.

So no, I am not close to my family.


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CockneyRebel
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05 Aug 2024, 8:39 pm

Not really. I visit my parents probably 9 times a year. There's a clash of cultures between my mum and I.


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Carbonhalo
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05 Aug 2024, 9:46 pm

2 brothers, a niece and a nephew...all on the other side of the planet.
Hear from one about twice yearly, t'other biannually.
Even when our parents were alive nobody was close to anybody



Edna3362
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06 Aug 2024, 1:36 am

Quite.

Living with my mom.
Dad's abroad for decades. I rarely talk to him.
Sister's abroad for a year and is returning this year.

Unless I cannot handle it on my own, I'm not telling them anything.
They do know what I can and cannot do. What I like and do not like.


I can't elaborate further beyond my immediate family without turning this into a super long post.

Only that I'm not afraid of approaching most of them at any time.


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Jakki
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06 Aug 2024, 2:24 am

Trigger Warnng: if you knew my immediate biological family..? it would be most imprudent to: Not have a gun drawn upon any of them appearing in your presence. except Dad and Mum, but they are past on now. With he exception of one sister,
the rest of the siblings , could instintively create life threatening circumstances for most people, based on my personal knowledge of them..( written without exaggeratiom) Just luck , i made it through childhood ,with 3 out of 4 limbs still functioning... And did not end up a vegatable. Due to persons I grew up with in my family. :twisted:
But many hard lessons were learnt then.


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Irulan
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06 Aug 2024, 3:17 am

No, just my mother with whom I live - and maybe (to some extent) three cousins. But I generally have, we could say, a large family - my grandfather had 12 siblings, four of whom died in childhood and out of this nine, six started their own families. I don't know my father nor his family though :cry:



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06 Aug 2024, 3:35 am

Not very. Like many people I spent my 20s deconstructing my childhood and realising how weird what then seemed normal was, and identifying every area where my parents could have made better decisions for me. Then you get over it and realise they were doing their best but I'm left with a re-evaluation of what I can expect from them and general sense of disappointment that they're not 'better'.

Parents are both pretty right-wing these days, despite being the people who taught me not be racist etc. Their political opinions make me sick and I tend to come away from meetings with them feeling angry and depressed. I see them 5 or 6 times a year.

I have two sisters and I don't see much of them either. One of them I've seen maybe 3 times in the last 10 years. The other a bit more frequently - she's closer to my age and we have more shared experience of childhood and outlook on our lives so we get on a bit easier.

I sometimes visit my aunt and uncle and cousins in my grandads old place and I feel much more among 'family' there. The atmosphere seems much more what I think family should ideally be - unspoken understanding, shared history, unconditional acceptance. I just feel like they like me more than my immediate family.


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Lost_dragon
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06 Aug 2024, 5:11 pm

- Parents

I am close with my parents. My mum and I weren't always. She did admit that I wasn't what I expected but that she is proud of me and happy that I am a part of her life. Nowadays I view my parents like friends or mentors. I always enjoy my dad's stories and his hypothetical scenarios.

- Siblings

My sister and I have a classic sibling rivalry. We enjoy annoying each other and it's all in good fun.

- Grandparents

I don't get to visit my grandma as often as I would like. Which is a shame because she's a lovely woman. Quite the skilled debater. Plenty of fond memories growing up.

- Cousins, Aunts and Uncles

Not so much. Haven't seen my cousin since he was a sarcastic little ten year old and now he's a moody teenager I'm sure. Smart kid.

I don't like my uncle. Ugh.

Not much of an opinion on my aunt-in-law.

My aunt is OK.

- Extended

My sister's boyfriend is kind of like family at this point. They've been dating for...hmm...7 or 8 years? I've lost track. My sister wants me to meet his family. I know he has a big family so that'll be eventful.


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TwilightPrincess
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06 Aug 2024, 7:24 pm

The situation with my family is really complicated due to stuff like multigenerational abuse and cult nonsense. The only family members I'd say that I'm close to are my brother, nephew, and son. I love them very much.



CockneyRebel
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06 Aug 2024, 8:07 pm

Jakki wrote:
Trigger Warnng: if you knew my immediate biological family..? it would be most imprudent to: Not have a gun drawn upon any of them appearing in your presence. except Dad and Mum, but they are past on now. With he exception of one sister,
the rest of the siblings , could instintively create life threatening circumstances for most people, based on my personal knowledge of them..( written without exaggeratiom) Just luck , i made it through childhood ,with 3 out of 4 limbs still functioning... And did not end up a vegatable. Due to persons I grew up with in my family. :twisted:
But many hard lessons were learnt then.


Sweet Pea hugs


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Jakki
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06 Aug 2024, 11:01 pm

Thank you CockneyRebel :D . .. YOU ARE my favourite Sweet Pea in the World, i believe..! :heart:


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Carbonhalo
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06 Aug 2024, 11:13 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:

Sweet Pea hugs


Why do I keep reading that as
"Sweat pee"?



Jakki
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07 Aug 2024, 11:39 pm

Carbonhalo wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:

Sweet Pea hugs


Why do I keep reading that as
"Sweat pee"?



Lost in the translation ...?


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utterly absurd
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07 Aug 2024, 11:56 pm

Yes, I'm very close to them. Other than one friend who's flying halfway across the world in a week, they're the only people who enjoy my company.


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CockneyRebel
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08 Aug 2024, 1:31 am

Carbonhalo wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:

Sweet Pea hugs


Why do I keep reading that as
"Sweat pee"?


:lol:


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